Farnoosh Brock

Conflict Management When Stakes are High and Relationships Matter.

How do you address conflict and resolve it efficiently when stakes are high and when the relationship at hand is important to you?

This topic was inspired by a number of my clients. I work with business owners and leaders who are naturally in collaboration and in partnership with others and over the period of time where they are working towards a vision or a goal naturally conflict arises.

How do you resolve this conflict? If you’ve been in a partnership for some time it’s possible that you have also formed a friendship around that partnership and so addressing a conflict may pose an additional challenge.

Well it’s important that you do resolve it, that you do address it, that you take a leadership approach to this because hoping that conflict solves itself or goes away is not exactly effective.

Let me give you two powerful approaches here.

The first one when conflict arises in a relationship that matters to you is you take the step forward and begin to address it and the way you do that is you find the common purpose, or rather you redefine the common purpose. You and your partner had a common purpose, a common goal before you went into this partnership.

You had a common vision of what you’re going to do and bringing that up and being able to articulate that and to validate that with the other person is the first step. Because you’re stepping away from the situation at hand, from the particular disagreement and you are reminding one another that we are working toward a common vision and this is the vision. Sometimes that alone is enough for one or the other person to back away or to not be as resistant and a mutual solution even begins to show up.

If not the next step in that process is to remind one another of your common value and that depends on the nature of the relationship. For instance, one of my clients was in a partnership with his partner because their common value, their number one value was financial independence and so when we started to look at a particular situation they were disagreeing on it was easy enough to see that approaching it from his partner’s perspective went against the financial independence value. It put them in a precarious situation and so bringing that up and speaking through that help them arrive at a more mutually beneficial decision.

So being able to step away from the challenge and to remind one another: number one your common purpose, your common goal, your common vision in this partnership and number two the common number one value that you share can help you approach this conflict effectively and through this process you are reminding one another that you trust each other and that you’re working toward the same thing.

Hopefully this is going to help you address your conflict.

I hope you found this video insightful and I will talk to you on the next video…bye!

It Is High Time You Give Yourself Permission.

It’s time to give yourself permission: permission to fail, permission to be wrong, permission to make mistakes.

I am sure that you have big goals and big dreams.

Deep down I know there are things you want to do because that’s what I wanted to do and yet you might be thinking “oh my god what if I make a mistake. Oh my god, what if I fail. Oh my god, what if I’m wrong” and you know what? If you’re going to pursue a goal and dream of any magnitude that actually matters (which by the way you totally should) you are going to do all of that regardless.

You’re going to fail, not once not twice but many times.

You’re going to make mistakes, not one not two but a dozen or more.

You’re going to be wrong and that is how we learn. That is how we grow.

That is how you build an invaluable experience that prepares you for the time you are right, for the time you are on the right path for the time that success shows up.

But you don’t skip over the mistakes and failures to get there and so as you journey this path how do you make it a lesson and not torture?

You give yourself permission: It is ok to fail. It is ok to make mistakes and it’s okay to be wrong.

When you do that when you allow yourself to be human in this process then you’re going to remove the guilt, the icky feeling when those things do happen and you can arrive at them from a place of curiosity and learn.

You knew that the failure was gonna happen because it’s just part of the process.

So what can you learn from it? What can you learn from it instead of letting it define you? Give yourself permission to be human on your superhuman goals.

Give yourself permission that’s the only message today and I hope this is something that you start doing because that’s how you make it easier and you make success a lot more accessible and a lot more joyful. I hope you enjoyed watching this and I’ll talk to you on the next video…bye.

What is your Daily Grounding Practice?

What would you say if I asked you about your daily grounding practice? What does that mean to you?

Let’s talk about what that means and why you might want to develop one, or you might already be doing it and not know it.

As a business coach I work with a lot of business owners, leaders, executives, what have you and these are busy individuals. They’re constantly on the go and I get it, slowing down isn’t exactly attractive to them yet if you look at the most successful people and study their habits one thing that shows up over and over is a daily ritual that grounds them, that helps them balance their energy so that they can be at their best all day long.

You see when you wake up in the morning you have a limited amount of energy from morning to night; you decide how to use that energy supply and when it’s gone, it’s gone and you’re done.

And so a grounding practice actually gives energy back.

So there are activities during the day that deplete you of your energy, you’re familiar with them: you are in meetings, you’re running around, you’re on a business trip, you are conducting talk a, presentation what have you.

These are activities that deplete your energy.

Sometime during the day you need to ground yourself and balance that energy so that you can refill your cup so that you can be rejuvenated. This is more than just resting, this is a practice that helps connect you to the earth. It helps just ground you as it says.

I’ll give you some examples of what most successful people use.

A breathing exercise of any kind where you are generally seated on the floor but it doesn’t have to be floor and you are breathing.

Any kind of meditation which may or may not include reading associated with it. Of course, you’re breathing but it doesn’t call out the breathing.

Or writing, writing free flow of consciousness with no agenda is a very meditative and grounding practice.

A walk, generally in nature, solitary is another way to rejuvenate and ground yourself. Or a yoga practice.

And these are just some examples.

The thing about a grounding practice is that you need to set aside time to do it and it’s something that you do on your own. This is a solitary time during the day where you reconnect with yourself, you find balance in that energy and you come out rejuvenated and refreshed.

It can be as short as five minutes but it’s important that you do it on a daily basis.

So as you examine your day do you have a daily grounding practice?

If you do great keep it up. If you don’t, what is it that you would like to do to incorporate that daily grounding practice to help you be more rejuvenated, be more grounded to the earth and be smarter with how you use that limited supply of energy.

So I hope you found some good insights here and I will talk to you on the next video…bye!

Mindset Mastery Video #6: Learn how to dramatically increase the odds of getting what you want.

Transcript

Let’s help you dramatically increase the odds for getting what you want.

Whether you want more clients in your business, more customers buying your products, a

bigger raise, a promotion, a better relationship. Let’s help you understand the psychology of getting what you want.

I’ll give you a tip that you can start implementing right away.

Hi there, I’m Farnoosh Brock author, coach and speaker and this is the mindset mastery channel. So how do you usually go about asking for what you want.

Most people go to the person that’s going to be responsible or play a part in that, they are going to put a request on the table. They make a case for it, they may hope and pray that the person comes through with the request what have you and sometimes that works. But what is a more effective way that you can feel good about asking for what you want and dramatically increase the odds of getting what you want.

This brings us to the topic of positioning, one of my favorite topics.

When I work with my clients it’s a deep and wide topic but the first element of positioning speaks to how you position that request. And the way you want to do that is by first thinking about the benefits of you getting what you want to the person involved: either the customer, the client, the employer, your boss, the person you’re going to go to ask for the thing. You need to think about how you’re ask benefits them and you need to start your request by speaking to that first.

For instance, you are going to increase the value of xyz for your clients. You are going to bring more impact more influence, reduced budget, better teamwork to your boss or to your manager.

You start the request there and you connect the dots back to how these benefits to them are going to start with you. How you are the vessel to create those benefits for them.

This is powerful positioning that helps them see why they should grant you your request, whether it is by hiring you as their new employer, as their new freelancer, as their new professional service provider or whether it is to give you a raise or promotion. So shift the paradigm on how you’re thinking about asking for something because when you start that way the conversation changes the odds on how they see that completely shifts in your favor and you may just surprise yourself by how often you start getting what you want.

I’ll talk to you on the next video, bye.