If you met me 10 years ago, you’d think me ambitious, singled-minded, opinionated, self-righteous and very adamant about living life my way because that was the one and only path to success, quite obviously!
If we became really good friends though, you would see that I am forever searching for something else, an answer, a discovery, a shortcut to the end to make sure this is indeed the way. You would see that I am not half as confident despite my great level of success, which I so proudly defended.
You may even surmise that I am not happy and on many levels, you would not be far from the truth.
It took me a long time and a lot of courage to swallow my pride and shove my ego over the edge of a cliff so I could admit the truth to myself that I was not happy because that meant one thing: I am also not successful.
How can one exist without the other? Success has got to include the happiness element or what good is it and happiness in and of itself is pure success, no matter what your “accomplishments in life”.
The turning point in life happens when pain and misery become too heavy a burden to carry. That is when you begin your journey home. Sure, it would be nice if we were all proactively planning our careers five years in advance of ever becoming miserable, but we are human beings, not perfectly programmed little robots.
We falter, we err, we fall short, we hurt (ourselves and others), we make mistakes, we take the wrong path, we say the stupid thing, we choose the wrong partner, we miss out on love, we pick the unsuitable career, and we even lose the will to keep going at times. We also learn and turn it around and bring miracles to life.
But do not ever identify WHO you are entirely with WHAT you accomplish. That keeps your ego in check on both fronts, massive success and massive failure.
Failure is an event, not a person. ~Zig Ziglar
This is the 500th blog post on Prolific Living, and the ultimate vessel for my turning point from confusion and frustration to true happiness and success in my career, relationships and life. It was befitting to do a reflective post not so much on the life of the blog as on what it has done for me.
Here are 29 things that I let go to get massive success and happiness in life and business:
1. I let go of the obsession to be right all the time:
I don’t want to be right all the time I want to be wrong so I can learn. I want to not know the answers so I can grow, and I am okay with saying, “I don’t know but I can find out!”
2. I let go of the reluctance to apologize with sincerity:
It is no fun to apologize for being wrong but it’s pure hell to apologize when the other person is wrong. Sometimes it needs to be done and you even need to continue the relationship onward nonetheless. What did Nike say? Just Do It!
3. I let go of the obligation to read stuff that doesn’t light me up:
I couldn’t stand reading presentations, engineering magazines, and corporate-lingo-filled business books. Enough! Now I read whatever my heart desires. My lust is with the classics, memoirs and epic fantasy fiction (A Song of Ice & Fire is my chosen obsession now). Ironic side-effect: Fiction fuels my creativity and helps my business.
4. I let go of the pursuit of friendship for the sake of friendship:
The idea that I did not have a lot of friends bothered me ever since the first day I stepped into an American high school and it only left just a few years ago. Friendship needs to fill your heart with love and joy. If you are not getting that, ditch your friends and get new ones.
5. I let go of the permission to pursue my radical crazy dream:
It’s not that crazy and you are not that radical. Stop the drama and get on with the dream. Over-analysis kills even more dreams than the need for permission.
6. I let go of the guilty feeling for living well and doing what I love:
Ah the guilty! Stop feeling guilty for living well, for being happy, for doing what you love, for making a lot of money, or travel the world every year. Feel joy instead.
7. I let go of the expectation of family and friends to “understand” me:
Do you understand them? Do you have empathy for their situations and viewpoints? Do you know their dreams? Stop putting this enormous and outrageous expectation on others if you ever want to be happy.
8.I let go of the expectation that my spouse needed be perfect:
Perfection is the disease that rots an otherwise happy relationship. Instead, cultivate the desire to improve yourself first and become a role model, not a nag, to your spouse or life partner in return.
9. I let go of the delusion that someone or something will show me the way:
Help is not on the way because you are the help you need in your life, and once you come to terms with that beautiful truth, you shock yourself with your own resourcefulness. It gets that good!
10. I let go of the need to control or fix my family, friends, partner:
Want to teach your brother how to argue better? Dying to show your sister-in-law how to treat you better? Well, stop. it’s their problem and their choice to be as they are. Focus on you and let go of control.
11. I let go of the idea that my first career has to be right for a lifetime:
How can you make such a perfect call at 16 or 18 years of age? Let the first one – or the first five – be giant mistakes. Just keep pushing until you find the right career.
12. I let go of the lie that it’s too late to re-invent myself:
It is never too late to start over or to reinvent who you are and to become the person you have always wanted to be. Never.
13. I let go of the excuses that get in the way of my goals:
Stop lathering yourself with excuses. You are not fooling anyone especially yourself. The weight of excuses is heavy. Drop them. Just do what needs to be done!
14. I let go of the envy and jealousy of successful people:
The comparison game has a sad ending and you lose that game every time. Be inspired by the success of others and then mold it into your own path.
15. I let go of the victim mindset that says “pity me!”:
Sure, people will pity and feel bad for you but what does that get you? Let it go. Take on the abundance mindset that promises you the world’s riches starting with your thoughts. Adopt the right thoughts.
16. I let go of the replaying of whatever “injustice” was done to me over & over:
The ugly stuff happens once, but we replay it about 2000 more times. Why the self-torture? Learn the lesson and let the pain go. Use the energy to move forward. Catch yourself in the act to do this fast.
17. I let go of the shame and embarrassment of being creative:
When I first started writing, I was so afraid of what others would think of my writing. Withmy first product, I was absolutely mortified. That had to go because without creativity, entrepreneurship cannot survive 2 days!
18. I let go of the lie that I am not worthy of love, success or happiness:
Even if you don’t admit to yourself, it may be an underlying feeling that sabotages everything you do to be happy. If you are holding yourself back, how could love and success and happiness ever get past your iron gates to greet you?
19. I let go of the attachment to negative thoughts:
Your thoughts shape and create your reality. That has been the turning point in everything I do and believe. So I say choose them carefully.
20. I let go of the bad habits of gossip and judging others:
Bad habits become so second-nature you hardly notice them but listen to what you are saying about others. Is it always a judgement? A gossip of sorts? Or something nice? And yes, this affects your own success and happiness too.
21. I let go of the battles that I really do not need to fight:
The battle to be right all the time, the fight to prove myself (to anyone), the exhaustion and separation that came with it all. They did nothing for me after all the fighting. So it made sense to let them go.
22. I let go of the procrastination of self-care:
Putting off taking care of myself was the stupidest thing I ever did. No more. I do yoga today and everyday. I meditate now, not later. I make my green juice today. I move and breathe with this one and only body whenever I can. Best to take care of you when you are healthy than sick.
23. I let go of the resistant to make positive changes:
The intention is there. You want to make a change in your life. You call up a coach, consult with her, make a plan to commit and then out of nowhere, resistance shows up, “Ah please! Let’s think about this, shall we?” and you stall. Stop stalling. Change your life now.
24. I let go of the self-centered attitude that the whole world revolves around me:
Me? Self-centered? Oh yes. That does not mean I am no longer selfish or I put the needs of others above me. It means that I am just not in the center of my own world. I can see better by stepping aside and watching everything. Focus on you without becoming self-centered.
25. I let go of the mistaken notion that confidence comes from somewhere “out there”:
Yes, sorry but the Confidence God or Goddess lives within you. You can set that confidence afire and use it, or let it go to waste. I say use it! It comes in handy. Grab my FREE confidence-course while it’s up.
26. I let go of the endless cycles of getting upset and proving my point of view:
Shocking how frequently I would get upset over every little thing. The cycles of complaining were endless. That’s one of the reasons living complaint-free is so important to me. Break out of your bad cycles because they blind you to the rest of your life.
27. I let go of the expectations of overnight success in business:
When I let go of proving myself, this one had to relax too. Overnight success is great for others, if such a thing exists, but I’ve come to appreciate the pace of growth in my business. Funny how when you stop pushing for success, you attract more of it through genuine effort.
28. I let go of the cynical jaded view on humanity at large:
The corporate brainwashing culture takes some time to shake off, and one of the hardest was letting go of this awfully jaded view of the world. It is the epitome of misery and it is beyond unattractive. Don’t let this attitude come within a hundred miles of you.
29. I let go of the linear approach to life:
Success and happiness are not black and white, there is no linear path that gets you there. There are many ways to reach massive success and happiness in life. The lesson is to be open to opportunity, to be flexible in your plans, and to be constantly hustling toward that vision without giving up. The path will appear when you start walking, sometimes not a minute before. Trust in the twists, turns and most of all in yourself.
On this path, let the heart be your guide, for the body is resistant and full of fear. ~Rumi
The floor is yours now, my dear readers. What do you let go today to be happier, more successful and closer to your dream life? Share #30 and beyond in the comments!