Growing Up without Positive Thinking
Why are these simple messages of truth that can change our lives so hidden in the culture and the environment that raises us?
Why do we have to discover these affirmations by accident and feel like we have found a new gold mine whereas almost all of it is found in ancient messages that still hold true?
I grew up in Tehran with a lot of love – and I mean, a lot of love from my parents, my relatives, my grandparents, and my childhood friends. All of these are irreplaceable loves in their own right. But the love was often overshadowed with a lot of fear, shame and guilt imposed by our guardians and authority. I don’t mean fear, shame and guilt for wrong-doing but for doing anything that was not “the norm” (the norm itself being anything but normal or sensible).
The overflow of affection in our culture cannot be matched, I admit, but it is rarely about teaching a child to be positive and confident in life, or about believing in their own abilities to make smart choices or helping them follow a dream. It is about making sure they follow the rules and that they are a good little boy or a good little girl, obedience always being the measuring stick above all things.
The rules are from ages ago, no matter how little they apply to today’s world: grow up agreeable and obedient, get massive amounts of education that mainly your parents or relatives can be impressed with, become a successful doctor or dentist or engineer, no matter how much you may detest the “respected” profession or long to be something else, marry well and bear many good children, only to repeat the process for your offspring.
Now if you break the rules and are still successful, you become the “exceptional story”, “the one case out of thousands”, the one “anomaly” that still does nothing whatsoever to challenge the viewpoint at large. [Insert big fat sigh here].
So for those of you who never grew up being told just how unique and special you are, how capable you are of everything you want to become, how OK it is to have dreams outside of the norm, how amazing your choices are and how much you matter to this world, this blog post is for you, darling, sealed with much love!
By the way, if you want more of my uncensored thoughts on how to be a renegade in your own life, a positive, fierce, proud and happy renegade that pursues his/her dreams without shame, hop on my newsletter now darling:
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100 Positive Affirmations to Carry You Through Life
Where did I get these affirmations? I have read the work of Louise Haye and adore her to pieces and I may have a few of her phrases or words but they are mostly altered to fit my own language. She is truly my source of inspiration, that much I admit openly. However, just as Louise recommends, I wanted to put together my own affirmations for you and encourage you to use them as they are or feel free to change the wording even further to adopt it as yours.
You may laugh, you may sneer, you may not believe a word of these affirmations but if my engineering logic-oriented mind can come around to believing them and then see them in action and watch them bring happiness to my life and profit into my business, I have high hopes that it can help you too.
Affirmations work best in the PRESENT tense, just as you see below, and when you say them consciously and preferably loudly (if the circumstance permits!). Also, it helps to adopt positive BELIEVING as well as positive THINKING as you embrace these words in the situations that arise in your life.
When you feel lonely and sad:
1. I feel the love of those who are not physically around me.
2. I take pleasure in my own solitude.
3. I am too big a gift to this world to feel self-pity and sadness.
4. I love and approve of myself.
When you feel terrified (without your safety being in danger):
5. I focus on breathing and grounding myself.
6. Following my intuition and my heart keeps me safe and sound.
7. I am making the right choices every time.
8. I am drawing from my inner strength and inner light.
9. I trust myself.
When you feel insignificant:
10. I am a unique child of this world.
11. I have every bit as much brightness to offer the world as the next person.
12. I matter and what I have to offer this world also matters.
13. I may be one in 7 billion but I am also one in 7 billion!
When you are nervous:
14. I trust my inner light and intuition to guide me.
15. Nervousness surrounding what I want to do is a good sign.
16. I know the situation will work out for my highest good.
17. Wonderful thing unfold before me.
When you are angry:
18. The anger does not reflect who I am.
19. I let go of my anger so I can see clearly.
20. I accept responsibility if my anger has hurt anyone.
21. I replace my anger with understanding and compassion.
22. I offer a sincere apology to those affected by my anger.
When you feel hopeless and at the end of your rope:
23. I may not understand the good in this situation yet but it is there.
24. I can muster up a little more hope and courage from deep inside me.
25. I choose to find hopeful and optimistic ways to look at this.
26. I kindly ask for help and guidance if I cannot see a better way.
27. I refuse to give up because I haven’t tried all possible ways.
When you feel conflicted about a decision:
28. I know my inner self will guide me to the right decision.
29. I trust myself to make the best and smartest decision for me.
30. I receive all feedback about a decision with love but make the final call myself.
31. I listen with love to this inner conflict and reflect on it until I get to peace around it.
32. I love my family even if they do not understand me completely.
33. I show my family how much I love them in all the verbal and non-verbal ways I can.
34. There is a good reason I was paired with this perfect family.
35. I choose to see my family as a gift.
36. I grow into a better person from the hardship that I feel with my family.
When you are among friends:
37. I choose friends who approve of me and love me.
38. I surround myself with friends who treat me well.
39. I take the time to show my friends that I care about them.
40. My friends do not judge me, nor do they influence what I do with my life.
41. I take great pleasure in my friends, even if we disagree or live different lives.
When you are around strangers:
42. I am beautiful and smart and that’s how everyone sees me.
43. I take comfort in the fact that I can always leave this situation.
44. I never know what amazing incredible person I will meet next.
45. The company of strangers teaches me more about what I like and what I don’t like.
When you are at work:
46. I am doing work that I enjoy and find fulfilling.
47. I know that I have a choice in the work that I do in this world.
48. I do not settle for meaningless, boring, and frustrating work.
49. I engage in work that impacts this world in a positive way.
50. I believe in my ability to change the world on a small scale with the work that I do.
When you can’t sleep:
51. I know that peaceful sleep awaits me in dreamland.
52. I let go of all the lies I tell myself.
53. I let go of my thoughts until the morning.
54. I embrace the peace and quiet of the night.
55. I sleep soundly and deeply and beautifully into this night.
When you don’t want to face the day:
56. What if this day were to bring me a great joy?
57. I bet today will be a day to remember. Let us go and greet it.
58. My thoughts are my reality and I am thinking of a bright new day.
59. I fill this day with hope and face it with joy.
60. The day will come and go, whether I participate or not. Let us participate.
When you worry about your future:
61. I let go of my fears, worries that drain my energy for no good return.
62. I make smart, calculated plans for my future.
63. I enlist the help of experts as needed in my financial planning.
64. I refuse to fall victim in a state of panic by preparing for my future.
65. I trust in my own ability to provide well for my own future.
When you can’t get your loved ones to support your dreams:
66. I follow my dreams no matter what.
67. I show compassion in helping my loved ones understand my dreams.
68. I ask my loved ones to support my dreams.
69. I answer questions about my dreams without getting defensive.
70. I know that my loved ones love me without fully grappling with my dreams.
71. I accept them as they are and continue on with pursuing my dream.
When you come face to face with a problem:
72. I am safe and sound.
73. Everything is going to work out for my highest good.
74. There is a great reason that this is unfolding before me now.
75. I have the smarts and the ability to get through this.
76. Every problem has a solution, and I seek my solution with resolve.
When you want to do more with your life but feel stuck:
77. I attempt all – not some – possible ways to get unstuck.
78. I seek a new way of thinking about this situation.
79. I know the answer is right before me, even if I am not seeing it.
80. I believe in my ability to unlock the way and set myself free.
When you can’t stop comparing yourself to others:
81. I have no right to compare myself to anyone for I do not know their whole story.
82. I compare myself only to my highest self.
83. I choose to see the light that I am to this world.
84. I am happy in my own skin and in my own circumstances.
85. I see myself as the gift I am to my people and community and nation.
When you feel you are not good enough no matter how hard you try:
86. I am more than good enough and I get better every day.
87. I give up the right to criticize myself.
88. I adopt the mindset to praise myself.
89. I see the perfection in all my flaws and all my genius.
90. I fully approve of who I am, even as I get better.
91. I judge myself to be both good and great at all times of day and night.
When you want to give up:
92. I cannot give up until I have tried every conceivable way.
93. Giving up is easy and always an option so let us delay it for another day.
94. I give up the permission to give up for good.
95. It is always too early to give up, so let me give it some more.
96. I must know what awaits me at the end of this rope so I do not give up.
When you recognize how powerful, gifted, talented and brilliant you really are:
97. The past has no power and no hold over me anymore
98. I embrace the rhythm and the flowing of my own heart.
99. All that I need will come to me at the right time and place in this life.
100. I am deeply fulfilled with who I am.
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That caps this post at 2000 words, so I’ll stop and hand it over to you. Come up with AT LEAST ONE unique affirmation in the comments so we can keep this conversation going strong and overcome all negativity, doubt and limited beliefs once and for all. Can’t wait to read your comments!