Dear Lonely Desperate Heart,
You are not alone, you know? You don’t “deserve” the pain, the punishment, the emptiness. You are not doomed to this depressing state of things forever. Heck, you’re not doomed at all! You are just a little lost is all, and you could use a helping hand to find your way back home. And tell me, who doesn’t get lost once in a while? We all do. You’re not alone!
You’re not unfortunate. Or unlucky. You’ve got everything you need to be happy. Right now there are souls out there far less fortunate than you in every measurable aspect and they are celebrating their life with delight. They must be crazy to be happy with so little, but they are. They are happy now and as they are.
Then there are souls far more fortunate than you and they sit with desperation and agony day in and day out. If you could only see them, you would be green with envy at their lifestyle and their opulent circumstances. You may not believe the darkness they live in. But they do, they are unhappy despite everything they have.
Happiness, dear lonely heart, is not a function of your circumstances. Why imprison the soul in this quiet desperation? Happiness exist in your heart, you can call on it right now or turn out the lights for good. You can feel bright as daylight or dark as midnight.
You choose happiness. Happiness does not choose you. Your circumstances, your family, your friends, and your ego do not get a vote on this, unless of course you turn over all your powers.
Why would you turn over your happiness by choice? Listen to your heart, it wants to be happy above anything else.
Yes it actually is easy. Easier said than done (I mean, do you know how long it took me to type this up for you? It’s much easier deciding be happy this freaking moment than writing a blog post!).
8 Myths that Hold You Hostage to Desperation and Loneliness
The ego has been filling you up with lies and unkind stories. Let me tell you, the ego has vile schemes. The truth: You deserve to be happy, free and in love with your life.
You deserve to adore, not dread, your beautiful limited time on this earth. Every single minute of it.
But first, let’s set the record straight on those lies:
1- You are not a failure, in any way shape or form. Unless you give up on yourself and insist on it. Then all hope is lost. So just don’t give up. Believe. Trust. Have faith. You are alive, and you can still put your dent in the universe. Alright?
2- Your family is not ashamed of you. You have not let them down. You are not a disappointment just because you didn’t do what they thought you should do with your life. Don’t make assumptions, but also don’t ride your happiness on their expectations.
3- You are not the only one that does not know what to do with your life. Everyone goes through a process of figuring it out. The more successful they are, the more twisted their journey. You can’t compare their end result to your beginning. It’s not fair! Focus on your journey.
4- You are not too old to live the life you’ve dreamt of. It is not too late to live the life you so desperately yearn for. Age can be a great advantage so use it well. The older you are, the more massive your life lessons, your experiences, your knowledge.
5- You are not stuck forever in your job or your relationship. If you found a way to get stuck, you can find a way to get unstuck. That’s that. There is no such thing as “being stuck forever”, don’t say it, don’t think it, and you’ll begin to see the answers.
6- You are not incapable of change. You are not powerless. Unless you have left the human race. You can change your thoughts, your relationships, your job, your goals, your direction in life and your circumstances.
7- You are not desperatation or loneliness. You are not born with desperation or loneliness like you are with brown eyes or blonde hair. It is not who you are. You can feel desperate at times – sure, who doesn’t – but you are not desperation itself. Loneliness may take hold of you but it can also let go of you. It does not attach to you like super glue. It is a condition that you can overcome and get past.
8- You are not undeserving of happiness. And I don’t mean a little happiness, a teeny tiny bit of joy. I mean grand happiness, the kind that you see in a movie or read in your favorite book. Of course you deserve it, get any opposing thought out of your head. Think bigger about who you are and what you can do for your world and happiness will flood your home and your heart. In a good way of course.
I know you feel lonely and desperate now. You may have even signed off on on your chance or even desire to be happy. You feel stubborn, jaded, defensive and hard set on the lonely, desperate path, and you believe your past justifies your present.
Warning – bold statement ahead but can’t help it: Your past is gone and done with. Whatever happened happened and it’s best to leave it there: in the past. The future is independent of the past. You can repeat the misery of your past by bringing it into today and tomorrow. Or – OR! – you could let it be. Let it go. And start a new way with a clear mind and willing heart.
Quiet desperation is a terrible thing. It starts small, you can barely feel it at first. Then it grows into an avalanche and soon it takes over. It makes you say and do things that is not who you are. You are not a Desperation of the heart is not your path at all.
Your path is glorious. It has got to be, it is the only logical way because you are brilliant and gifted, and you wouldn’t walk a lesser path.
But to walk your path of glory, you have to leave the path of misery. You cannot take both home. Only one leads you home, dear heart. The path of truth. Your truth.
What to Do Next to Heal from Desperation and Loneliness
Good. You want to leave desperation and loneliness to their own devices and walk your own path of glory. You’re going to need some tools. I start with self-care, trust in myself and confidence, and I’ve got a free course that shows you how to do it for YOU. Grab it below: