How inconvenient that it takes extreme sickness, the onset of depression and the depth of frustration to make us wake up to the reality of the situations in our lives! How annoying that it takes a mountain of stress to make us realize the harm we are doing to our bodies and the poison we are putting into our pure intentions!
Sometimes, a wake up call is just too rude and the awakening resulting from it far too unavoidable. Taking a risk – with every uncomfortable turn in our stomach – becomes more palatable than not taking one because the fear of regret is not just the greatest fear in our path, it should be the only fear!
Oh but the delicious talk of risks is one to set aside for another day because there is another topic on my mind today for you lovelies. The only way to make the horrible past week not seem in vain is to share it with you before I put it completely behind me.
There is an awful force at work around us and I must warn you against it, should you be so lucky as to have never experienced it. It is a power so strong that it can penetrate even the most invincible ones of us; a wind at night so subtle and yet so cruel that it can cripple a prolific life even while asleep.
It is the scariest D word of them all. It trumps Dilemma, Delirium, Distress, Desperation, Discouragement, Dejection, Difficulty, and Despondency altogether. It is Depression and even the onset of it should sound a loud alarm and call you to immediate action.
Sometimes you just have a bad day – or even a bad week. It’s not necessarily a sign from above to change your entire approach to living or to even make drastic changes. Challenge is ever present everywhere. Change is imminent in life. I welcome both with open arms. Difficulties in life add color and spice to an otherwise dull journey.
It is the signs of depression that should cause you to pause, reevaluate and reconsider your game plan.
This week I learned that …
… I really don’t know how to manage depression well.
… depression can pay a visit even to the happiest soul and disrupt even the sweetest life.
… I am very tough but I can no longer compromise my ideals.
… stress can bring about sickness, accidents, injuries, pain and even depression.
… good health is my greatest asset and peace of mind my strongest ally.
… I am in love with my dreams, my pursuits, and my plans for a new way of living.
… time, peace of mind and fulfillment of the heart are far more important than money (this may not sound shocking to you but coming from a proud material girl that I am, it really is!).
Depression has certainly shown up in my life before. There were depressing times in my career, depressing days in my relationships and certainly depressing situations in my life. But you see, I thought I had my act together by now and that all of my great ways of living would no longer permit an entrance to the evil force that is depression. I thought that I was simply above depression.
This week proved me wrong. And I really don’t like being wrong when it comes to my capabilities and my tolerances.
One week may not seem long but it does not take too much time to notice the signs of depression. I was shocked in how quickly things spiraled downhill and how I became more of an observer than the one in control of my reactions to the events.
Here, take a look at my far-from-comprehensive list of signs just to see what a lot can happen in the span of one week:
- If your beloved routine has crumbled around you.
- If you are no longer interested in doing any of the activities which you usually pursue with mad desire.
- If you find yourself standing in the kitchen multiple times a day, doing absolutely nothing with an insane number of things that clearly need some doing.
- If you are feeling aimless, even during a purposeful walk, and beyond unmotivated, even toward your deepest passions.
- If you have traded your exercise regimen in for unsatisfying work and useless worry.
- If you have lost your appetite and your interest in food when you usually eat voraciously all day long.
- If you are acting clumsy and erratic and paranoid and overly emotional.
- If you find yourself arguing even with someone who fully agrees with you (this one has got to be exclusively me!!).
Then you just might be looking depression in the eye and this, my dear friends, and it is a serious enemy to quickly kick out of the sanctuary of our homes and hearts.
Precious few things helped me this week but they now – even more so than before – rank among some of the most important gems in my life:
- Meditation and listening – really listening and hearing – the desires of my heart.
- the reassurance, infinite love and care of my husband.
- the listening ears and invaluable wisdom of my brothers.
- the refuge in mother nature.
Today I am seeking the refuge in paradise and as I travel there, I will learn to let go of what no longer serves me well and I plan to seal the deal on the ultimate life changing decisions that will shape the next decades of my life. Today, I threw out depression with a kick so severe I hardly expect it back anytime soon.
So however grounded, strong and balanced you may be, do not think yourself impenetrable to the sting of depression. Beware of the signs and be vigilant about any alarming signals from your body, heart or mind. Depression may be a beast – sometimes, it only threatens from afar and other times, it may invade your home – but as long as you know the beast exists, defeat it you shall.
Have you had an encounter with the beast yet? Care to share what you learned and how you managed?