9 Mistakes that Rob You from Living Your Dream Life

Don’t Let “Unrealistic” Kill Your Dream Life

I was in a horrific car wreck this morning. I walked out with a few scratches but the car wasn’t so lucky.

live-so-well-so-enough

Sitting here, admiring my beautifully intact body – the bruises and all – with all my wits about me, I am filled with gratitude and quietude. If I didn’t believe in miracles, I would now … but I already believed in them and don’t need more proof on that note. (do you?)

The day has been a blur. First, I dived right back into work as though nothing had happened. Then I slowed down, doing my fair share of staring, crying, apologizing, and replaying of the accident in my mind.

And now I’m settling in for the evening, in awe of this utter quiet in my mind – a rare state that an hour of meditation would have trouble achieving!

I feel thrown into a slow-playing boring movie, with nothing at all happening, just time and space and the sound of breath, the chirping of crickets, and tapping on the keyboard.

Tap, tap, tap, my dear reader. I am typing to tell you something good, hang in there. I’m a wee bit slow tonight…

Events like this are expected to make you reflect on your life and re-think your approach to how you are living this one precious life. Well, I’ve done plenty of reflecting, and it makes me thrilled  to know for a fact that I am living my life exactly, precisely, totally and completely as I want to be living it.

A few years ago, I couldn’t say that. I had a list of regrets as long as my sorry excuses (in other words: very long). Until one day, I stopped fooling myself. I finally woke up from my delusions. I decided to put an end to everything that wasn’t making me happy and to put a new chapter in place for life on my terms. It wasn’t easy – easy is totally over-rated by the way – but it wasn’t as impossible as I had made it out to be all those years of excuses.

Truth Blitz: The hardest thing of all is living in wait mode, waiting to be happy, waiting to start your dream business, waiting to quit what’s eating away at you or waiting to walk away from an awful relationship. Waiting until the infamous later arrives. Let me tell you something: LATER SUCKS! And you know it. Later may never come. Later is boring. Later murders dreams. And if you ever want to use the word unrealistic properly, use it with later.

  • Pursuing your dreams: nothing unrealistic about it.
  • Re-inventing yourself and your whole life to be happy: not unrealistic one bit.
  • Believing in yourself that you can: hardly unrealistic.
  • Dreaming big and wanting more: the opposite of unrealistic.

Drop “unrealistic” from your vocabulary and start living life the way you want now. It doesn’t mean jumping off a cliff or quitting your job tomorrow but it does mean that you gotta stop waiting and you have to start taking action.

Mistakes are a pain to make. A giant royal pain. Yes, they teach us lessons about life and make us better people but what if you could just learn from the mistakes of others? What if you could skip over the big hassle of making your own?

Tonight, as I am sitting here in one lovely piece after the accident, wondering at the heavenly powers that kept me safe, I will recount these 9 mistakes that robbed me from living my dream life until my wake-up call a few years ago. The car wreck this morning reminded me that I’m  already living my dream life every day and not ready to give up a minute of it. What about you?

9 Mistakes that Rob You from Living Your Dream Life

1. You wait for the right time and conditions:

Waiting is the number one mistake that robs you from living your dream life. There is a difference between waiting and planning. Planning means you are taking action, however small, and creating the dream life every day with doing something about it. Waiting means you are biding your precious time. Don’t! The years won’t come back!

2. You look for approval from others:

Yes, it would be lovely if everyone in your life cheered you on to live your dream life. Some among us are very fortunate to have fierce support from all their family and friends. If that’s not you, take heart. You can still live your dream life. Love the people in your life but don’t wait for them to approve of your choices. They won’t be to blame that your dream life passed you by. You will.

3. You think you need a ton of money:

You need far less money and resources than you think to make things happen but the mind loves excuses and the money excuse is a popular one. Drop it. You can create opportunities and you can look for creative solutions to whatever stands between you and your dream life when you have the right positive can-do mindset. If you need more inspiration, look up a few super stars who started with penniless and explain how they did it without any money :)!

4. You hope it will all happen by itself:

No, it really won’t. Life is not self-orchestrated. You are the conductor. And you are either in or out. You need to take action, honey. A lot of massive action but no need to overwhelm yourself because it starts with a tiny daily step. Be consistent, do something every day and you will make heaps of progress.

5. You question your own talents and brilliance:

Doubt. Oh that sweet ever-present voice in our heads. It’s good to push yourself, to aim higher, to be the best in your playing field, sure. But there’s no reason to doubt that your talents and your brilliance are less than enough. They are more than enough if you only put them to work. Hear me on this: You ARE brilliant enough to create your dream life. If you need more assurance, let’s work together on this!

always-do-what-you-afraid

6. You judge your ability based on your past mistakes:

The past does not dictate the future, and neither should it or else we are all doomed one way or another. Whatever happened happened. Whatever your situation, get on with it. Time to move on, learn from it, starve the doubts some more – see # 5 – and create a new future with a lot of right actions, right decisions, right moves.

7. You don’t believe you deserve to be that happy:

You wonder if you are worthy, if you are special enough, if you are someone that should even dream that big or reach that high. You ARE a thousand times over. Got it? Whichever naysayers told you that you don’t deserve happiness was dealing with their own issues. It had nothing to do with you. And my confidence book will teach you exactly how to get rid of that limiting mindset.

8. You are afraid it will be too hard to achieve your dream life:

You know what’s going to be impossibly hard, darling? Regret. Regret that you had the chance and didn’t do it. Living with that is harder than anything you have to do now to create and live your dream life.

9. You count on luck to come around and leave your life to chance:

You create your own luck. The harder you work, the luckier you get. Don’t leave your life up to chance. It does not have special plans for you. Only you do. Get intentional about your life. Live with intention and drive in the exact direction of your dream life now.

How did you fare on these 9 mistakes? I know that I flunked all in my past life but living with intention and immediacy has taught me to watch out. Life is short. Life is sweet. Life can be grand. Make yours grand. You deserve it. You really do.

I am off to do my guided meditation before drifting to a grateful sleep. Before you go, tell me, did this resonate with you?  Talk to me in the comments.

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  • Ritesh Mendiratta

    Nice Post but one thing Which I do not agree with is “May you always do what you are afraid to do” as I am fighting a court case against someone who killed someone very dear to me and I need to see this Evil Spirit each time I go to Court which is dreadful so I don’t think you should always try to do the things that you are afraid of .

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Ritesh, I am so sorry – so very sorry for your loss. my heart goes out to you and I bet it’s excruciating to go thru that process. I almost removed my photo with that quote but please know that it does not mean facing what we hate to do so much as what we are afraid to do for ourselves …. anyway point well taken and I wish you the best….

    • AJ

      Ritesh … I am an attorney, and I often tell my clients something that you need to hear as well.
      It makes no sense to hire me, or to entrust an important legal matter to an attorney, and then keep all of the emotion, stress, “hatred,” and anxiety that goes with the case. That is what we are hired to handle (or, in the case of a prosecuting attorney, what the State has hired the attorney do handle). This is what we do. Whatever your role may be in the court case, this is not your burden to carry. So at least consider letting it go … Do not allow this “Evil Spirit” to steal any more “life,” from you or anyone else. Good luck.

      • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

        AJ, hi. Thank you so much for sharing your insights here. I know Ritesh also appreciates it.

      • Ritesh Mendiratta

        Dear A J,

        Thanks for your opinion. As a matter of fact I am a person who always hunts for happiness but I just wanted to convey that sometimes life really puts you in unavoidable situations.

        Ritesh.

  • Meredith

    I believe wholeheartedly in what you are saying. I read this and think to myself wow I an taking steps it’s just taking a while. Then I think or am I just waiting and that’s why the process feels so slow? I also have. Hard time enjoying the process.

    I want to be a therapist but with my current licensure I find it hard to find a role I enjoy that let’s me practice being a counselor without that next licensure.

    What are your thoughts on all of this?

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Meredith, so glad to hear this spoke to you so deeply. It takes such patience to build those dreams but are you moving forward? Taking action? Doing something toward it daily? Then you are doing the right stuff.
      I’m not an expert on health licenses. What I would suggest is to look at it this way: What is it you enjoy doing in the role of a counselor? List the top 10 activities. THEN try to close the gap by finding that in a role – existing or one that you create for yourself. just some thoughts without knowing more about your circumstances. I hope this helps.

  • http://dave-lucas.blogspot.com Dave Lucas

    One of the more thought-provoking articles on “self-help” that I’ve read in a long time! This is a wonderful piece to read before going for a walk or run… it sets the mind up for a positive flow… 5 stars! thumbs Up! Rah-rah! ;)

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Dave, happy to hear this met the bar! Thank you so much!

  • http://www.developgoodhabits.com SJ Scott

    Farnoosh,

    First of all, sorry to hear you had a bad car accident, but very thankful you walked away with nothing but bruises.

    It is great that you were able to come out of all that and turn the lemons of a traumatic event into the lemonade of a great post.

    I simply love the 9 mistakes you list and agree whole-heartly that they are surefire dream killers.

    The “universe”, luck, connections, fate, destiny, karma and other people all play some part in our successes and failure; but the single biggest block, by far, is within ourselves.

    Understanding these 9 mistakes is essential to success. I won’t say I ALWAYS achieve success with these 9 mistakes. But I always try, and I USUALLY succeed.

    Glad you are safe and well,

    Steve

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Steve, my friend, how are you? Great to see you here. Oh I’m in so much pain oh my goodness :( thank you for the healing thoughts – thank you!! Bruises AND the impact – it jolts the body.

      I LOVE how you put it – single biggest block is within ourselves. Even better said than me. This be why I adore my readers.

      Thank you for the kind words. Great to see you here, Steve.

  • http://www.selfstairway.com/socializing/ Vincent

    A lot of these hit hard with me because this list used to be how I thought. I’m proud to say that now this list no longer applies to me. :)

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Vincent, you fabulous blogger, you are rocking it and it shows. Keep it up! And thanks for the vote of confidence on the list.

  • Joannne

    Thank you. Great insight.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      glad to hear it Joanne…..

  • http://alwayswellwithin.com Sandra Pawula

    I’m so glad that you are safe, Farnoosh. Yes, this did resonate. My life is quite good. But I do have a small mix of “self doubt” and “it might be too hard” to contend with from time to time. But far less than before!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Sandra, darling, you and me both!!! And starve those doubts, darling. You are doing great work and it’s showing through … (but I know, they still sneak in…. !!)

  • http://cashwithatrueconscience.com/rbblog Ryan B

    Hi Farnoosh,

    Well said buddy ;) #1 is a killer. Never wait, never, ever, ever wait. Act on your impulses immediately. Maybe you cannot start a business online this second but you can start planning. Start researching.

    Do your due diligence. In time, you can acquire the facts you need to get started. This should take weeks. But the action part is now and much be immediately if you are to effectively live your dream life.

    Smashing post!

    Thanks,

    Ryan

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hello Ryan, my friend, glad we agree on #1. I was ready to defend it to the end of time but we’re cool ;)
      And very well-said. Encouraging and a lot of tough love. I love your style, Ryan. Thanks for sharing your insights.

  • http://www.vishnusvirtues.com Vishnu

    Glad you’re safe, Farnoosh! And thank you for sharing this post on your reflections on life and your journey over the past few years.

    As you say in number 4, we can’t just wait around for life to happen. Instead, I’ve noticed that when we do things, life happens. And if we are doing what we’re supposed to be doing and in line with the universe, even better things happen :) Action is a prerequisite. And a choice.

    #8 is another self-limiting one filled with fear. It may be hard to get started on a dream but even harder to have realized that we never pursued our dream. Often we have a dream, but find so many excuses to talk ourselves out of it – itcosts too much, it’s too difficult, etc. When really all we’re doing is allowing fear do dilute our thinking and limit ourselves.

    I think we can all make the shift to take fear on and pursue our dreams. And dramatically change our lives. We just have to ‘wake up’ and start taking action. OFten, that spark and wake up call comes from within so a continued or starting a spiritual practice of some sort helps too. Thanks Farnoosh!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Vishnu, so good to see you. So beautifully written. If you weren’t a writer/blogger, I’d have to get on your case. Yes, you expanded well on my posts, Vishnu, and I hope it comes through that I don’t think any of this is EASY …. it takes a lot of courage, a lot of guts, and a lot of trust – trust in ourselves, something that I wish we learned to do better as young adults or even children. THANK YOU for brightening my day by your words and presence, Vishnu.

  • http://www.lifeohm.com Monica Bourgeau

    Hi Farnoosh – what a scary experience, I am so glad you’re ok. It’s nice that you were able to have the realization that you are living your life intentionally though. That is such a beautiful way to live!
    I love your suggestions and am happy that you mention we create our own luck. I wholeheartedly believe that. Lucky people have usually worked hard to be prepared for those “lucky” opportunities.
    Recover well dear friend and thank you for sharing.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Scary indeed, Monica. How are you doing, my dear? I do love your own take on luck – it’s so so true. We can beckon luck in our direction with what we do AND what we believe … Thanks for sharing your insights and I promise I am on the way to full recovery!

  • Kathryn

    Hi,

    I understand all that you have said however what if you want to take that leap of faith to change careers but you havent yet discovered what that is? I know I’m not enjoying my job and that there is something else out there for me but I just can’t put my finger on it. Any suggestions would be very helpful

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Kathryn, I work on that question all the time with my students and clients – you need to focus on your purpose first. I wrote this 25 discovery question blog post to help you find that purpose. I hope this helps. Let me know.

  • http://www.workingmystic.com Nneka, Working Mystic

    Hi Farnoosh, you are enfolded in love and light.

    Waiting is a tricky thing as Meredith pointed out. No doubt it robs you of time if you are waiting for something to happen so that xyz.

    However, when you are in a process, it can feel like you are just standing in sludge. I would say that’s more like going through the process than it is waiting. You are still taking steps. You have a plan. You know that you are moving toward your desire. Right now, you may just need to stand still.

    How do you tell the difference?

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      You are a gem, Nneka, thank you. You got it. I define waiting as doing nothing, as just hoping, day dreaming and sitting around waiting for a miracle. But every action we take, however small, is not in the same category and then it becomes a process, a work in action. And yes, it can be so slow at times but it’s still moving forward.
      You can tell the difference by looking back say a month or 3 months and 6 months ago even and ask yourself: Am I in exactly the same situation as then? Or have I done anything / learned anything / moved the ball forward since then (even if I’m nowhere close to my goal)? I hope this helps?

      • http://www.workingmystic.com Nneka, Working Mystic

        It does:-)
        You have the benefit of perspective.
        I also would not discount lining up your energy which look like doing nothing. I’m finding out (again) that I have tons of leverage when I’m aligned.

  • Justine

    Excellent! Came at a time that I need it most! Thanks!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Justine, sweet! Glad to hear it…..

  • http://tangiblefreedom.com Ragnar

    I think assumptions and preconceptions are usually having much more of an adverse affect than one would think… and the worst part is that you rarely notice when you mistake them for fact. Like thinking that lots of money is an integral part of living a good life… people consider that to be factual. It’s a baseless assumption that has lead god knows how many people astray..

    And I love that you included creating your own luck… I waited so long for a savior. I was doing nothing, yet somehow I hoped to be saved. Sure people can be a great help, but you have to at the very least make yourself available to people that want to help you.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Yes, assumptions can make our lives very regretful – best to check those facts with proving them right or wrong once in a while, Ragnar. And most of all, glad you stopped WAITING – I bet you are creating more luck now than anyone else could have done for you! Keep it up!

  • http://faithpresley.com Faith Presley

    This post is really what I needed to get things in prospective! I’m glad to hear you came out of your ordeal okay. These points are great mile markers for any worth while journey.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Thank you Faith – one with such a beautiful name and meaningful word to me especially now … glad you enjoyed this. Come back again!

  • http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com Larry Hochman

    Well…I am really glad I found this blog! Excuse busting in 9 easy steps.

    Years ago, when my wife and I were talking about having kids, we considered waiting for when we had more money to make it easier for a family. At some point I looked around and noticed everyone seemed to be having kids regardless of their finances. I told my wife about that observation, and within a few days we conceived. After some needed growth in our consciousness and skills, we figured out how to live prosperously. And having kids turned out to be one of the motivators to make that happen.

    Don’t let ANYTHING stop you from pursing your heart’s desire. There will always be something in the way. And you can always find a way to the other side of it.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Beautiful story and case in point, Larry, in not waiting for the perfect time – or perfect financial situation in this example – to go for what you want in life. Thanks so much for sharing and glad you found us here. Come back anytime.

  • Mark

    One heck of a good post Farnoosh! We all need to stamp this message on our soul and draw from it daily.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Mark, good to hear from you and beautifully said. :) Thanks much.

  • http://wonderwriter.com Brian

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time! I just flunked all of these, but your words have been very encouraging and motivating. =) I’m at a stand-still in my life because of these exact issues. Your words hit home and, hopefully, it will lead to action. Thank you!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Brian, you can’t flunk – it’s not possible – you can ONLY learn. That’s the rule, my dear. Glad this helped. Come back anytime. And you’re most welcome!

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