A Confession and How to Turn Things Around When You Lose Balance

Yoga Devotion Dancers Pose

When You Lose Your Own Balance

It’s really kinda embarrassing when a personal development blogger stops following her own advice, no?

She is supposed to be humming along and cheering you on for the ride, leading the way like a fearless warrior, experimenting away with life and work to report out on the best ways to form smart habits or to stop bad cycles, and then one day, she hits a wall. She stops following her own advice, and falls into the traps that she thought she had conquered.

Yep, that would be yours truly, and the stumbling block is the pursuit of extremes, which almost always comes with the high price of sacrifice.

It feels like stepping backwards in the journey of growth that was supposed to be moving forward! It feels like going back in time and becoming an older version of yourself, the version that you swore you had left behind. It feels dumb to make the same mistakes, or to let the bad habits sneak up on you again and yet you do it again. And again!

Why do we get in our own way? Why do we resort to sabotaging our chances when things are going great instead of celebrating our forward momentum? Why can we not keep a good cycle going forever?

For two months, I have not been back on the bike. I have not been eating the best way. I have not exercised except for 2 power yoga classes a week but in my book, that hardly counts. I have not even been meditating regularly. I have not been, gasp, a true early riser.

What, then you wonder, am I doing?

How to Restart Habits After a Break

Well, fear not because I have not turned into a sloth. I would forgive myself anything but sloth. Sloth, I would murder right away. Other stuff, deserve some attention and patience.

Work is the answer to my lost balance and my new list of sacrifices, and if it were anything other than building my business, I knew how to scale it back and say no.

I have found a new weakness in working for myself: walking away from work to take a break longer than an hour or than a night’s rest. And I bet if I underwent hypnosis, they would find me solving problems in my sleeping hours.

The thing is, I do like extremes. I want to create and witness fast growth in my itty biz and I want to learn everything about running a business right now, or at the latest, by next Monday! Things that used to be boring to me are no longer as such when I apply them to my business. If I had to learn about debt management or the economics model of a foreign country, I’d be all over it if it mattered to my business.

I want to pursue every passion, and grow in every direction, and I decided that everything that gets in the way of moving forward in my business is a waste of my time. I am shocked that I packed up my smartest and best habits and sent them away in the name of wasting my time!

I am telling you a lot here, I know. But you know what, you deserve to know the truth! I am still mad about self-improvement, personal development, challenges, growth, pushing myself to be the best person I can be and I mean and believe every word I write here in this blog. I have done everything I write about and I am passionate about empowering you to become the absolute best possible person in your life too.

So in the name of full transparency, dear constant reader, how could I not share that I have not been doing as I preach? That my daily meditation has become weekly at best, and that my zen reading has made way for business books and PDF documents, and that my early rising habit stand little chance when I am toiling away way past midnight.

How could I not admit that I have been eating more liberally, especially sometimes out of stress and anxiety?

How could I hide that my social life is nearly extinct (by choice) and my entire livelihood comes from my imagination and my work (and my hubby, lest he reads this and thinks otherwise – I am not talking about you, Andy Brock!)?

Well, there you have it. I have sacrificed just about everything I know to grow my itty biz and I must tell you, I still absolutely love every minute of it. Even if I’m toiling away, getting a neck pain from sitting still or a wrist cramp from typing too much or finding a way out of overwhelm from all the choices, I love being a business owner.

I love working, especially writing, and creating something that was not there before. I love being in charge of my work, my business, my life and essentially my destiny. I love it so much that I am guarding it every minute and now it has become a borderline obsession.

So what’s my plan? How do I get back to being aligned to everything I preach and desperately believe in? How can I regain my own sense of balance?

Your Help in Finding My Balance Again

What do you recommend? This time, I want to listen rather than tell. This is your chance where you get to coach me to help me find my way back to full health and balance. You get to sit me down, give me a lecture, make me a plan, or just whip me into shape with tough love and care. You get to teach me how to let go of this baby I am building long enough to take care of me more? Oh yes, it’s all on you for a change, my dear constant reader. I am ready to receive whatever you got! Share away in the comments.

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  • http://ryzeonline.com Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca

    Farnoosh! I *love* this.

    Not because I want people to abandon all their habits, but because habits serve a purpose for a time, but they tend to grow.

    Leo Babauta used to be a goal-setter, habitually, until he *abandoned traditional goals altogether*.

    When I was homeless, my daily routine was almost completely random, but it served a purpose, and I thrived from it :)

    Good for you for embracing change :D

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Jason, you were homeless? Seriously? That’s a very difficult condition to move away from – I am so happy to hear that you have made such a breakthrough – amazing! Thank you for sharing.

      At WDS in Portland last year, I heard Leo speak about the goal-less approach to living and it just didn’t resonate with me – I guess he didn’t go into enough depth due to time constraints but I do love to follow my intuition combined with some self-discipline.

      Thanks for stopping by and I am really looking forward to our September Meetup in Toronto. :)!

      • http://ryzeonline.com Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca

        Thanks, Farnoosh! And yep, THREE times (3rd times a charm :D) You can learn a lot more about how I remained positive and emerged from it here: http://ryzeonline.com/effing-happy

        Portland seems to be a hotbed for bloggers, along with NYC, and boulder Colorado and more and more, Toronto :)

        Leo’s a brilliant man, and I always find it interesting who connects with his goal-less views, and who doesn’t, or at what stage in their life :)

        Either way, I love what you do, and do whatever works for you, for sure. For many people, intuition w/ discipline is probably not a horrible thing lol, y’know?

        And I’m totally looking forward to it as well.

    • http://solopreneurlifestyle.com Christine

      Farnoosh,

      We solo-entpreneurs are all our own worst critics. It’s all in our awareness and how we decide to respond to it. Decide on 1 non-negotiable each morning in terms of getting more of a balance routine in place. Then, give yourself some grace and compassion. I’ve being experiencing the opposite the past couple of months – an apathy for building my brand and have witnessed some new opportunities land in my lap that may be my next best step. I’m also witnessing the judgement I have for not hoofing at the usual pace…My brain has needed a break, even though I love what I do. Mindful awareness is key to allowing what is.

      • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

        Dear Christine, how nice of you to stop over and share your thoughts. THANK YOU! I think entrepreneurship has got to be the biggest emotional roller coaster. We go through all spans of the human emotion and never in a predictable way! :) I really appreciate the beautiful way you shared your wisdom and grace with me here, and I’ve been feeling better since I wrote this piece but am still hungry for great advice like yours. Many thanks. Wishing you wonderful things on the horizon too.

      • http://ryzeonline.com Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca

        My morning non-negotiable is meditation & appreciation of some kind, ideally a body-mind aligning one like “The Body Method” or horse-stance combined with intentions.

        I hear ya Farnoosh.

        I was such an over-achiever for sooooo many years, I just couldn’t relax.

        Now I live a verrry relaxed life, and it is good and allowing :)

        • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

          Jason, you are amazing – I had my meditation down for a while but it got put off to the side yet again!!! And it seems the “over-achiever” bug has left you but has me in tight grips still ….. sigh ;)!

          • http://ryzeonline.com Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca

            Thank ya, miss. It’s no accident :D

            Makes two of us though, you’re rockin’, and all this awareness leads to improvement :)

  • http://myintercontinentallife.com Anne-Sophie

    Hi sweet Farnoosh,
    just like Jason, I don’t think it is a big deal at all!

    We all go through phases and there is always a reason and a learning process attached.

    If I can share something from my recovery from anorexia and how I’ve handled my (unfortunately) many setbacks, I’d tell you to do the “next right thing”.

    No matter if I overate (which has happened a lot due to stress lately) nor if I skipped meals again and overexercised, my mantra is to do the next right thing. This means that I don’t skip the next meal, that I don’t try to make up for the nutrition I’ve skipped, that I don’t stop exercising altogether, but simple start fresh and do the next right thing.

    You know what to do and even if you’re phase of needing to take care of other things in your life first takes a bit longer, you’ll eventually do the “right” thing. :)

    • http://ryzeonline.com Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca

      Thanks for the up-vote, Anne, and I love your story of how you handle things.

      Start fresh, do it right :)

  • susan steele

    farnoosh,
    sounds so familiar, been there many times. we are all human. there are natural cycles and seasons in all life, change is constant and necessary. no self judgement, just acceptance of where we are and where we want to go. rekindle our passion for living a healthier way and offer loving kindness and compassion for self. ease into a new balance with each breath. this now moment always offers us a new beginning. pure grace…
    love you, susan

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Susan, how nice of you to stop by. It’s hard not to do the self-judgement, but it’s an excuse and I need to do it. I love this line: “rekindle our passion for living a healthier way ….” thank you for bringing your light and beauty here today and I will follow your heart-felt advice!!!

  • http://devacoaching.com Sandi Amorim

    Dearest Farnoosh,
    This post and its raw honesty only makes me love you more for you show your humanity so transparently. I can not relate to coaches and gurus who never stumble; they leave me feeling small and inadequate. But gorgeous, big-hearted, passionately inspired people pursuing their dreams and sharing the reality of that way of life? I am inspired to the nth degree!

    When this happens for me, I start small so I can experience the thrill of consistency once again and I usually start with meditation. And when I say small, I mean 15 minutes a day. I allow myself to commit to what my lizard brain thinks of as a puny amount of time! That 15 minutes consistently every day makes more of a difference for me than anything else and usually turns into 30 minutes quite quickly.

    But I think the greater challenge is getting that how you’ve been operating has a cost. Because you love your work and business so much it’s easy to see why you would do what you’ve been doing. But the cost is becoming too great or you wouldn’t have written this piece. For someone who loves health and well being as much as you, the cost is too dear my friend.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      The cost is really too dear – Sandi, thank you for being here, you and I have shared a lot on the journey to health and I know you have had an amazing accomplishment this year that I can’t wait to celebrate with you. Starting small is not exciting – I love radical shifts – but it’s doable and it’s going to work. I already started off the new month with new intentions. And will follow through. Thank you so much, you are a darling and very dear to me.

  • http://www.midwaymarketplace.com/blog7 Maxwell Ivey

    Hi Farnoosh; first, don’t be so hard on yourself. The most important ingredient in success is passion. If you don’t believe, than you won’t be able to make anyone else believe in yourself, your company, or its products. My brother likes to say that he knows i will succeed because its my passion. The first thing i do in the morning and the last thing i do before sleep is check my email and website stats. as for your health and social commitments the key is to believe that you need these things to be successful in your business. as a sufferer of sleep apnea i can tell you lack of quality sleep causes all kinds of health problems in addition to contributing to weight gain and poor eating habits. your meditation time not only calms you but puts your mind in a state where new ideas can be born. The key is to convince yourself that diet, sleep, exercise, and meditation are critical to business success. and before you or anyone else asks, I’m no better than you at this. good luck with the balancing act, max

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Dear Max, first things first – you know what’s funny? How you’ve been reading every blog post but seemed to skip the only one where I mentioned you: Episode 49. Gotta listen to hear it. Just sayin’!

      And as to your advice, thank you. You know, I know all of this but it’s good to hear it again and again – in fact, maybe repeating what I know and having it come from my readers is what I needed. I started July with a new intention and I appreciate this encouragement so much. Thank you, Max!

      • http://www.midwaymarketplace.com/blog7 Maxwell Ivey

        Hi Farnoosh; The truth is its all things we know, the trick is doing them without needing to remind yourself or be reminded by others. I haven’t listened to the podcast yet because I realized that I had neglected some of my duties. I had links that needed to be added and new listings to post. I also have a blog entry that is half finished and a guest post i haven’t even really started. I think my enjoyment of your posts and podcasts was an acceptable distraction for me because i could tell myself i was doing it to be a better blogger and business owner. I enjoy your show and plan to listen to it soon especially now that i know I’m part of it. smile so, we can both forgive ourselves and promise to do better. take care, max

        • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

          Yes dear Max, we both forgive ourselves. You are so sweet! And I am glad you enjoyed the podcast. Good luck with all your work.

          • http://www.midwaymarketplace.com/blog7 Maxwell Ivey

            hi farnoosh; You are very special yourself. well, you know how work is, there is always more of it. I just felt I was spending too much time in following blogs, posting comments, listening to podcasts and webinars, and twitter and Facebook too and not enough on adding content like links, listings, photos, and blog posts. . It turned out that your show on perseverance was something i really needed to hear. and in the area of inspiration I recently became friends with another blind person with a relatively new blog. His name is Michael and he’s one of the many Iraq war vets. He had been helping me with some software. I didn’t realize he was blind, thought maybe he had a family member who was. But when i read some of his story, it energized me. You are one of my favorites Farnoosh and I’ll be looking forward to the next post and friday’s podcast. take care, max

  • http://alwayswellwithin.com Sandra / Always Well Within

    Dear Farnoosh,

    This happens to all of us, even the best of us, doesn’t it! You are in good company. I believe that we all go through natural cycles in life and some periods are more active where others are naturally more reflective. Nevertheless, excess harms us in the long one and moderation is almost always a wise choice and the true path to success. I find the best way to dig out is to begin by re-establishing one positive habit at a time. Only then add the next.

    The truth is that we can’t do it all! So it might be judicious to look at all the possibilities and make a realistic assessment of what you can actually accomplish in a balanced way while still pouring your heart and passion in to your business.

    May balance be yours!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Sandra, doesn’t it though? Sigh! :)))
      And it kills me that I can’t do it all and then I end up affecting what I can do and I know the logic of all this but I still sometimes – as in the last 2 months – have chosen to ignore it.

      The reminders help – I know you are a master of balance and moderation and I have always gone the extreme route, and now I can see the virtue and goodness in your ways, Sandra. :)! OK, I will find my way back to balance now. Thank you for the love and support.

  • http://www.wombatphilosopher.com Andrew Hill

    Hi Farnoosh,
    Your motivation for those things seems to have fallen away. Perhaps this is because you are (subconsciously) preparing yourself for a new phase in your life. Like a candy jar your life has been full of sweet things. If the candy jar is full, some candies must be removed to free space for delicious new varieties. Maybe you are simply allowing yourself to reflect on the present, and freeing space for things that will matter for the future.
    Later, you may be able to look back on this time and see that it preceded a time of re-energisation and purposeful and beneficial change.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Andrew, dear friend from Down Under, how wonderful to see you here. Yes, motivation has taken a hike! What to do what to do!
      I cannot tell you how profound your analogy is to me, even if it is about candies ;)! That gives me so much excitement for what is to come. Thank you Andrew.
      How are you doing and how is WRITING coming along? Please tell me you’ve been writing….. I can’t wait to hear more update from your end.

      • http://www.wombatphilosopher.com Andrew Hill

        Thank you, dear Farnoosh, for your cheerful reply. Yes, the candy-jar is a rather ambiguous metaphor :). In my early years, it was the habit of young children here in Melbourne, to go to the milk bar with their life savings (pocket money) and select lollies (candies) from the glass display cabinet. I do not remember many of those lollies actually making it into a lolly jar! I think I will have write a post on my blog about Melbourne milk bars and lollies…
        As for writing… how shall I describe my faltering progress? With respect to my blogs, writing faded away at the beginning of this year. This was partly due to the success of projects I initiated, which as they were embraced by others, created irresistible opportunities for me to provide support and guidance – and increased workload!
        It was also due to my feeling that the existing direction of my blogs had run its course, which diminished my motivation to write. I know my unconscious mind was processing all of that. I was not deliberately considering what I should do, yet suddenly reached a point of decision. I decided to attend a blogging conference to immerse myself in “blogger-speak” and set aside some time for further reflection. I now have the outline of a new blogging plan and am fleshing out the finer details and putting the plan into action.
        With respect to my book, I have also made faltering progress as I explored three different directions and digested feedback from my writing mentor/coach. Each change of direction was preceded by a brief period of inactivity and reflection, after which I slowly built up momentum again with writing.
        As all that was happening, my personal well-being regimen also faltered and I experienced a general sense of malaise. This brought about a crisis of motivation for a range of things and I knew I needed to do something different. So, I started some new yoga classes – 90 minutes of pure yoga (I think you must have been talking to my unconscious mind, Farnoosh!). It is just what I need at this particular time in my life.
        Thank you for your post… and your question – I really needed to put that in writing!

        • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

          Now, that is quite the update, Andrew, and I enjoyed it immensely, even if the writing has had faltering progress. Thanks so much for sharing. And I was going to talk to you about that writing piece but then you said yoga, and I am so impressed that all else is now forgiven :)! The BEST thing you can do for yourself is to immerse in the world of yoga, that’s my very biased opinion ;))!! You know, cycling and yoga together infuse me with motivation and energy and I wonder if you will be now experiencing some good cycles soon after immersing in yoga for a period of time. Andrew, if I can do anything to help inspire and encourage you to write or do whatever it is that you need to move in the right direction for you, please don’t hesitate to reach out directly to me. Wishing you all the best, lovely getting such a detailed update and a Namaste with a yogini bow. :)

  • http://www.ameenafalchetto.com Ameena Falchetto

    Wow Farnoosh, so you are human? :) We all fall off the wagon – I can identify wholeheartedly, it’s so easy to do – after all we put such pressure on ourselves to be brilliant. I have always said that no one can put the kind of pressure on me that I can.

    Breathe. Indulge and set a date for when you will get back on the wagon. You can do it – we all need a break and a tub of chocolate ice cream every now and then. Just enjoy it when you are doing it vs. beating yourself up about not being your ideal self. we are only human!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      No no I am super woman! ;)) LOL!

      Oh I have fallen off big time but the replies are like a huge embrace and a breath of fresh air, including YOURS! So glad you do the same with pressure as I do – I am not alone!

      A tub of chocolate ice cream – now that’s extravagant.

      Thank you dear Ameena. You are very sweet. I am so happy for our budding friendship! I will ease back into the swing of things. Merci.

  • http://uzma7.wordpress.com Uzma

    Hey Dear Farnoosh,
    Am here after a while. A while as I choose to stay away from reading too much !! Can u believe that. I did drop in and read you every once in a while.

    I did this to find my inner core , a core thats not clouded by the mind and thoughts and seeking. I would suggest the same to you. Sit in silence. Let what is needed come to you. Do this after the power yoga class(the twice a week one).

    .After the body exercises, sit in silence, watch the thoughts, be aware of all the stuff in the head, as important as it is, of the emotions that rise. Breathe and let it come to you. Ask your question. Listen.

    Begin with awareness, move to silence and listen.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Uzma, dearest, you have been hiding. But I love my silent listeners and know that you are always out there.

      I love the suggestion. I know that you know this but yoga was created so that we warm our bodies and prepare them for long periods of meditation – so it is very fitting to hear it from you!

      I promise to do what you said here – I’ve done it before and it’s done miracles for me. Thank you dear Uzma and I hope you are doing well.

  • http://johnfalchetto.com john Falchetto

    Farnoosh, we all fall off the wagon.
    Often.
    If we never fall off our path then how we do know we are on it?

    I believe in pulsing and cycles, sometimes we push, sometimes we stumble.

    These are important times, the stumbling times, when we really define who we are and why we do what we do.

    To stumbling and falling down :)

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Dear John, I read a book titled “We All Fall Down” – It was about a theory on productivity and efficiency but it was such an intriguing title.
      Love your poetic prose here and it’s brought me lots of inspiration already. Merci.

  • http://naturalprofessional.com Shawn Tuttle

    Dearest Farnoosh, Growing pains! The dark side of success!

    Since you asked, I’ll remind you of a few things that you already know, but might not be remembering…

    *Release expectations*
    You have different needs in different phases of your life. You need more YOU time, self-care, and nourishment (all the regimens you have promoted so wisely here on your blog) when you are healing. And healing from a huge lifestyle shift, i.e. disengaging from a job you detest to reconnect with your own inner power and dreams is a big job!

    That you are not needing as much self-care is a testament to the healing you’ve done. It’s your body’s way of saying: “you’re ready for growth, and I’m ready to take you there!”

    There’s no need to hang on to the expectation of where you were before. Your divine work, as the brilliant soul behind Prolific Living, is to live a healthy, wise, and sane life. Only you can define what that is.

    *Allow for new patterns to reflect new needs*
    I, like you, have had very regular practices of yoga, meditation, and eating well. Except when I don’t. My observation is that when I’m healthy and strong, I begin to take that for granted. Then I work a lot and get a lot done. Then my health begins to wane and I realize that I better get back on the wagon or else I’ll burn out, get sick or otherwise take unconscious drastic measures to stop!

    What new patterns can you embrace that support your motivation? You know that your mind benefits from alternating between intense work and blissful rest. Rather than be a distraction from your current itty biz growth momentum, let self-care tools help you to stay strong, engaged, and sharp.

    Specific suggestions (remember small habit steps are best):
    – Do a 15 minute meditation immediately upon rising (PRE-email!!!) and then another 10-15 minutes mid-afternoon when the mind naturally wants to rest anyways.

    – Take one hour to menu plan for the whole week in order to ensure that you have healthy, yummy snacks and nourishing food for meals without spending tons of time figuring it out every day.

    – As for exercise, shift your perspective. Rather than “staying in shape”, do short stints daily. Even 20 minutes of vigorous walking will take minimal time from your project of the day, give you a little distance to work out a challenging issue, and will keep your hormones and chemicals happily flowing as they should be. This could also be a time that you catch up with your sweetie at the end of the day.

    Ultimately, your itty biz greatly benefits from you staying present, in your body, and healthy! You have the answers you need. The challenging part right now is moving past your identity and self-imposed expectations to hear them.

    At the beginning of this comment I was being cheeky when I wrote the “dark side of success”! I do however, see that you are in a time of personal reassessment, and that often feels dark or confusing. Perhaps, instead, you can call that space mysterious, a place of possibility, an opportunity for you to discover another part of yourself as you reach new heights and explore new frontiers.

    XO

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Dear Shawn, I am really speechless by your thoughtfulness and your kindness to share so much insight, so much care and so much TRUTH with me here. I may have known some or even most of this but hearing it again has done wonders. Plus your suggestions, along with the delicate way that you propose I get back into things, is really helpful. I love that you are giving me instructions on exactly what to do because I plan to fully follow through.

      Then you added insights that I was not at all familiar with – like allowing for new patterns to reflect new needs. It’s just the way you put it, Shawn, and on this new light, I am feeling really excited about stepping back into everything. Thank you SO so much for being here and I am sending you a huge bow of gratitude.

      I’ll be thinking about you when I get back into my meditation practice, among other things. THANK YOU!

  • http://360degreeself.com Tim

    Hi Farnoosh:

    I give you credit for admitting what you did in this post. It takes a huge amount of courage. But, more than anything, it tells me you are human. Since I discovered your blog a while ago I’ve always thought of you as Super Woman. Well you are, but I’ve always been amazed at how productive you are. Maybe it’s possible, maybe not – but I really think it’s difficult to maintain a frenetic pace of productivity and focus all the time.

    I don’t know if I have any words of wisdom…just that I go through this a lot, too. You are not alone in your feelings. Take care and I’ll be sure to continue reading about your journey.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Tim, I thought I was a productive ninja for a while but no such thing, huh? ;))

      Thank you dear one, you are amazing and kind, and even Super Woman needs a holiday – I suppose. You have PLENTY of words of wisdom in everything you said, and I heard all I needed. Thank you for your love & support, Tim, and for taking the time to share them.

  • Steve Walker

    Farnoosh,

    Thank you for being transparent – it makes me feel not alone when I “fall off the wagon” myself. Except for me it usually is slothfulness that is the reason. I read a great book, “The Power of Full Engagement,” by Tony Schwartz that has a great system for pacing yourself while achieving maximum productivity and rest. Sometimes a short break is the best boost for creativity. But like one of the earlier readers said, we think of you as Superwoman and I feel a bit silly offering any advice to Farnoosh! Thank you for all you share with us and take that break you deserve this holiday week.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hello again dear Steve, don’t worry – I am right there with you as it turns out are so many others. We all fall off!!! I need to look into that book.

      So creativity needs a break too, then! I love hearing that. And you should NOT feel silly offering me your heart-felt advice, as you have here, I asked for it, I appreciate it, and I am delighted to hear it and put it into practice. Thank you, Steve, and I am sending this to you from Vegas where I am working less and having more fun. :)

  • http://www.robinhallett.com Robin Hallett

    Hi Farnoosh :-)
    As I read your sharing, what kept coming to me was an image of you about to give birth (um, metaphorically speaking)!! Pay attention to what you love, love, love to be doing and stay curious about it. Something good is speaking to you right now. During times like this, regimented routines are spirit killers.
    Part of you must know this.
    Hugs,
    Robin

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Robin,
      Oh dear! I am in labor then? ;)
      Seriously, that is very interesting way of putting it. And this line will stay with me: “During times like this, regimented routines are spirit killers.” Well, no fear of that – now I just have to see what is on the horizon. Thank you dear Robin. Hope you are doing wonderful, and know how much I appreciate this.

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  • Rebekah

    Dear Farnoosh, sometimes my yoga class is full of intermediate students who bring competition, curiosity, struggle, and assertive pride with them — qualities that aren’t as productive as the calm, focused unity that’s possible on good days. Not that I’m an intermediate student, of course :), but one mantra that has emerged for me and that I can offer my fellow students is “May all I can do and all I cannot do helpful to you.” Readers have already offered great responses and thoughts here. I’d only add a thank-you for making your adjustment-of-balance experience a gift to all of us who are working along with you.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi dear Rebekah,
      I just love hearing yoga stories from you. I really do. Those yoga students are everywhere. All they need to be humble is to see a person years ahead of them in practice, and for every single student, there is such a person, no matter how advanced they are.
      Thanks for your love and kindness, and the gift of your friendship, Rebekah!

  • http://www.innovativesavings.net Garry Stafford

    Hi Farnoosh,

    I debated as to whether or not I should put my link in a comment. Can be a bit self serving! But you inspired me in biking (remember you’d sent me your link) and I just wrote this post a few days ago. So maybe I can return the favor!

    Cycling

    Persevere!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Garry,
      I generally don’t do links in comments but how could I not after reading this one and after finding out that I got you inspired to go biking? Huge honor. Thank you and thank you again, you are the best. I’ll be back on that bike very soon.

  • http://www.workingmystic.com Nneka, Working Mystic

    Funny you should write this Farnoosh:-)

    I recently realized – after writing over and over how important spiritual practice is – that I, a Working Mystic, abandoned my own spiritual practice. GASP!

    The solution: Back to basics. 15 minutes of watching my breath every day. Just sitting and watching my breath.

    Guess what, it’s done wonders for my clarity, and stamina (as I constantly preach). It helps me to feel connected. It’s the way that I leverage spirituality for success. That’s what my work is all about:-)

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi dear Nneka,
      Oh my. What is it about us abandoning the very important things when we are talking about them or helping others with them? It’s an irony, that’s for sure.
      I will go back to the basics with you – the benefits of deep breathing is so under-rated ;)!
      Thanks for coming by and giving me the lift I needed, Nneka, and I am sending you lots of good vibes too.

  • http://gmail sujit chowdhury

    Hallo Farnush,
    I really appreciate this kind of honest confession, when a man know
    about his/her mistake and with a Eagles eye work on it its
    natural that mistake will be a new opportunity.
    So you are on right track just visualize a great happening and work.
    OM NAMA SHIBAYA.
    sUJIT

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Thank you Sujit, you are very kind. I am going to visualize and get back on track and I appreciate you embracing my honesty here. Om Nama Shibaya to you, as well, and thanks so much for stopping here.

  • http://tito.pandubrahmanto.com Tito Pandu Brahmanto

    Maybe this is not the best suggestion, but what I learn from my mom and later from my favorite motivator, that everything need focus. So what you want to focus right now? You can’t get everything in life but you can get one marvelous achievement that can pay off all you want in life.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hello dear Tito, I love Mom advice, and I am going to take your Mom’s words into heart – It’s brilliant and hard to do: Focus focus focus!!! You are so right – and really she is. Thank you Tito. I’ll report back with those marvelous achievements soon and I hope you are doing as Mom says too? :)

  • Sue

    Hi Farnoosh,

    Hmm, I seem to remember a wise woman named Farnoosh telling us not to beat ourselves up over our self-sabotage tendencies…. :-)

    I don’t think our personal growth journeys are a linear path: I see them as being an upward spiral, and that means that we occasionally get to revisit “old” issues but from a new perspective. When we find ourselves on that point of the loop again, the first reaction is often “Oh, no–I thought I had this figured out! Why am I here again?” When we take a breath and step back or stay still, what we notice is that whatever “it” is, is not presenting itself in exactly the same way and because we have the lessons and growth from our last encounters with the issue, we tend to find regain balance faster.

    I understand about the tendency to just dispense with whatever activities are not strictly necessary to getting a work related task finished, but I’ve found that not taking the time to meditate, go for a walk, eat good food, and replenish myself with the activities that feed my spirit generally lead, sooner rather than later, to me feeling less inspired, less effective and less efficient.

    Take care, find the balance in your life again, and you’ll soon be like an eagle gliding up and around to a new level of understanding and growth.

    Have a wonderful day.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Dear Sue, the wisdom and articulation of that wisdom here in this comment really had me just stunned. It’s so true, and I never looked at it this way: The fact that the old stuff shows up but it’s DIFFERENT in nature, not the same. It may look the same but it isn’t, especially with the growth that we have had. Thank you so so much for sharing something that had given me tons of encouragement. You are awesome and I hope you have a blog somewhere so you can share your beautiful thoughts with others. Thanks ever so much.

  • Erik

    Hi Farnoosh,

    I feel for you. Too bad that happened. I also admire you for mentioning it on your blog since you’re a high profile Life Coach.

    The Perfect Masters say, “To fall down is to be human, but to remain there is devilish.”

    They say the solution is to pick yourself back up and to set your site back on the center of the target.

    You’re not alone with the excess and perfectionism I have a love-hate relationship with both as well.

    Helpful timing with this post. Lately I’ve had the very same difficulties with progress plus a couple more.

    I quit meditating for somewhere over 2 weeks after doing it every day for 3 hours a day starting at 3 AM. They call that period of the morning “The Bewitching Hour”.

    They mean that in a good way – it’s the ideal time to meditate (while the city sleeps).

    I just picked it back up again and now getting up that early and sitting for 3 hours is a big challenge whereas I was able to do it for months with relative ease.

    I also quit my careful diet and gained about 15 pounds that were hard to shed in the first place. I was eating to “manage” stress and of course to sabotage my achievement.

    I cut my exercise in less than half too.

    I started criticizing others and losing my temper again. Now it’s hard to get back to being balanced inside.

    I did manage to maintain 2 habits that are very important to me so not all is lost:

    Luckily I had no desire to quit being a vegetarian (since 1993) and I am still physically chaste since Jan 1.

    In the last few days I have started to pick up my exercise, at least attempt meditation, and to eat a little better.

    I picked myself up, aimed at the target again, and have made some progress in key areas.

    I’ve been heavily depressed about it and am still feeling mostly worthless recently.

    But, all I can do is get back up from the fall and move back in the right direction.

    I am in the process of forgiving myself. It’s hard but I am trying to give myself a break where one is needed.

    Thanx for sharing this at the time you did.

    Best of luck in getting back into the groove!

    Erik

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Erik, thanks for your thoughtful comment here. This was a while ago that I wrote this so I’ve been back on track with most things but meditation still escapes through the day and I have yet to devote time to it.
      Thanks for sharing your struggles – you are very tough on yourself and I like that you are celebrating the good while still pushing yourself further. Stay with it and hop on the confidence series list it’ll help you stay motivated. Thanks for your very kind words, Erik.

    • Erik

      Thank you for understanding and offering kind words of encouragement :)

      Yes, you did write the post almost 2 months ago. To clarify, I meant that the timing was perfect for me (because I was going through it at the time and still am) in regards to when I found the post. Sorry about the confusion.

      I also meant to mention a couple other setbacks – I didn’t drink any coffee or alcohol from January 1 until the first week of July. I only had alcohol twice in July, but I’ve been drinking coffee all day long every day for over a month now (again).

      Anyways…that’s how I’ve always sabotaged myself. After a resolution and struggle, I seem to be able to accomplish anything I set my mind to.

      I can perfect it and maintain it for months or even years. Quitting coffee, tobacco, or alcohol is a good example. I quit tobacco for four whole years and went back to it. That’s one of the most foolish things I’ve ever done.

      Then out of no where and for no apparent reason other than to sabotage my accomplishments and progress, I get impulsive and go back to bad habits.

      So, I “defeat a demon” for a time. Then it asserts itself and wins. Strange thing is, I don’t always put up a fight (impulsiveness).

      So, Shakespeare would want to know what the question is.

      The question is why and how to prevent it from happening.

      …I’m just thinking out loud here but would value your input. I think that a few people would benefit including you and I…

      I do have ADHD. But, I also have a good deal of mastery over it in some ways much of the time.

      But is it also an esteem issue for me, you, or most people?

      Could boredom play a part? Perhaps patterns get boring after a while – even healthy ones? Is there a need for change – even a healthy pattern?

      Why do some people not seem to struggle much with this self-sabotage?

      I can’t help but to sit here in amazement – even after all these years of being aware of the fact that I am impulsive and self-destructive – over this issue. I’m baffled as to why I actually end up doing that to most things I work so hard on to beat.

      Your thoughts?

      Erik

      • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

        Hi Erik, so many questions, my dear :) Let me see what I can offer.

        First, please don’t label yourself – ADHD or other wise. Just drop the labels because they have a self-fulfilling prophecy and are generally inaccurate anyway!

        I am with you in quitting alcohol and tobacco – coffee is personal choice – it’s not half as poisonous as the other stuff but if you want to quit, that’s fine. The big question to ask yourself is WHY do you want to quit. That’s what you need to remember when you go back. Your WHY must not be as important as the temporary pleasure. Go back to examining the why. If you just want to be healthier, that can be a boring WHY but if you want to make sure you are around to see your grandchildren or live to be a 100 so you have time to do what you want to do in this life, that’s a bigger why.

        Everyone stumbles and falls along the way of building habits but what you do NEXT matters. Not analyzing why you fell but getting up and going back to it again. And again. And Yet Again, Erik.

        Hope this helps.
        Best,
        Farnoosh