The Only 25 Affirmations You Need to Forgive Yourself

love-forgiveness

Forgiving yourself is the most difficult, most humbling and most liberating experience you can gift yourself. Yes, all three at the same time!

It takes serious effort to truly and completely forgive your own flaws and imperfections, get over your past mistakes, and let go of the time that was wasted on self-rage, self-pity and regret and for me, arriving at this point has taken a very long time.

Alas I am ready for it.

I am so tired of carrying the weight of should-have, could-have with me every day, and to look back with nostalgia and regret at the smarter choices I could have made or the opportunities I should have grabbed.

Can we please stop this insanity and come to peace with ourselves? Can we begin today with forgiving ourselves for whatever shame or bitterness or regret we’ve been carrying for far too long?

Let us believe we are worthy of more than we think we are.

Life happens. We have one chance to react. That reaction spawns off other events. We manage them the best we can.

Now it’s over and you are here in this moment in time. Why carry the burden to eternity when you can drop it by forgiving yourself?

The last few weeks, I’ve been writing doing what author Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way calls The Morning Pages: A minimum of 750 words every morning. Let me tell you, it’s not the polished writing that goes in here. Instead, it’s the stream of consciousness that lets me get the words – whatever words – out of my head and into the pages.

Instead, I have had no trouble filling my morning pages with a flow of bitter angry self-berating rubbish.

Where is this coming from, I wonder? I thought I was doing pretty well. My subconscious disagrees. I have not yet let go of the past mistakes, of the blame, of the bitterness.

Apparently, I have not yet forgiven myself. Go figure!

Ah forgiveness. The beautiful and humbling process of distancing yourself from the anger, bitterness, frustration, hurt, guilt, shame that you feel about a situation or about a person, including yourself. The noble act of freeing yourself by rising above the negativity that desperately wants to pull you down.

This is liberation at its highest form and it is a form of being divine as a human being and becoming one with the true source of life, the true positive flowing energy of hope, love and positivity.

That’s my flowery albeit genuine description of forgiveness, take it or leave it but what I am about to say next is even MORE important so pay attention:

Forgiveness does not mean you are weak and you are letting others walk all over you. Forgiveness does not portray you as a loser, a quitter or a dummy. Absolutely positively NOT! Do I look like I would let anyone walk all over me? Do you? No way! No how!

Now that you understand what forgiveness is, you have to come to terms at how powerful it really is. You have to move beyond just saying the words and step into believing them. Forgiveness is powerful. You must believe that first or none of these affirmations will help you.

Coming to this point may take time, and the good news is that you can take all the time you need darling. When you are ready, and not a minute sooner, come back and read the 25 affirmations below to forgive yourself and let go of the past so you can move into the new year with hope, optimism and love.

affirmation-stronger-you

The 25 Affirmations to Forgive Your Past and Free Your Mind

Read these affirmations out loud the first time around and let the sound of your voice become natural and let the words ring true for you.

Repeat them everyday for a week. Put them in your phone or a notebook you carry, and say them while driving or washing the dishes or putting on your clothes for the day. Say them when you are alone and feel anger or regret or sadness.

And do yourself a favor: believe yourself worthy of these truths:

1. I lay down the heavy weight of doubt, shame, guilt and embarrassment.

2. I release the past so I can step into the future with pure intentions.

3. I am capable of moving beyond my mistakes.

4. I am able to heal from the hurt and pain of what I have caused.

5. I am worthy of all the compassion and kindness life offers me.

6. I forgive myself one day at a time until it’s complete.

7. I gently release the grip of anger and rage from my body.

8. I set my past free and forgive my participation in it.

9. I give up the hope of a different past by accepting my true past.

10. I trust my present and future decisions based on love and good intentions.

11. I trade my anger and rage for understanding and compassion.

12. I accept that I did the best I could at the time with what I knew.

13. I have the courage to heal and become whole again.

14. I will treat myself with respect and kindness from today forward.

15. I forgive others as I forgive myself: with ease, sincerity and loving compassion.

16. I take this small step toward greater growth.

17. I am willing to live with all of who I am.

18. I am capable of loving all of who I am.

19. I go with the flow that life brings me.

20. I grow more patient and understanding of others by forgiving myself.

21. I let go of all self-judgement and self-sabotage.

22. I melt into an ocean of love and forgiveness.

23. I grow stronger and better as I forgive myself to move on.

24. I forgive myself so that I can have inner peace again.

25. I can only share my gift with the world if I first forgive myself.

What if you do not believe in affirmations in the first place?

Right there with you honey! In the not too distant past, I did not believe in the power of affirmations. At All. I could not fathom how simple happy positive phrases can undo the suffering and pain that you go through.

But I stand corrected. They work and they are such a simple tweak that it’s worth at least trying, don’t you think? Today, I believe in them because I have experienced the power of healing from affirmations first hand.

Proof is a great thing for the logical mind! But here’s the rub: the desire for proof before believing is precisely what delays – or sometimes completely blocks – the healing. So don’t let proof or lack of it dictate your desire to forgive yourself.

Forgiven yourself much lately?

Your turn: I know, this is a vulnerable topic, but it makes it all the more important especially if it’s blocking your way to a better life. Have you had trouble forgiving yourself? Or do you have tips on how to forgive oneself better? Tell me your story in the comments below! 

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  • http://blog.fluenthistorian.com/ Natalie

    Happy New Year, Farnoosh! Hopefully this comment will go through and thus prove that your commenting system is working properly. :) One issue I just noticed is the HTML anchor at the top of the page for comments does not properly link to the comments section. I don’t know important this is to you but I thought I’d mention it.

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      Natalie, happy new year to you too, and yes, thank you so much for commenting. We are just now using Disqus. We’ll look into what you mentioned here, thanks @nataliemk:disqus!

  • Sylvia Rytarowska

    Hello, Thank you for this beautiful message. I actually started reading those with a dose of scepticism and I’m not sure what happened but by the end my eyes welled up. Creepy. I have shivers :-)

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      @sylviarytarowska:disqus that’s wonderful that the messages themselves gave you that reaction. I am so happy you related to this. It took me a long time to write this post, and like you, I felt skeptical too. Thanks for sharing!

      • Sylvia Rytarowska

        Yeah. Skepicism is always in your face wherever you turn these days.
        But you really are authentic, I’ve read a few more posts and they move me, so keep writing please.

        • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

          So kind, @sylviarytarowska:disqus I plan to keep writing :)!

  • Cassandra Roberts

    Dearest Farnoosh,

    I have SO missed you, your wonderful writing & you powerful, empowering, and uplifting words! It has been WAY too long since I’ve connected with you…

    I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post! Forgiveness can be a pretty difficult act for most of us, especially when it comes to giving it to ourselves personally. So many times we’re taught that if we make mistakes or mess up there’s something wrong with us & we need to “fix” it or change who we are because we aren’t good enough…which is devastating. It’s unfortunate (& heartbreaking) that we loss the unshakable belief in ourselves and that when we make a mistake it just means we need to move on & do better next time – no self-hatred or self-bullying present.

    Honestly, I have struggled (& still do struggle) with self-forgiveness for a long time…especially when I make a mistake that hurts someone or disappoints them. There’s always that voice in the back of my mind that keeps saying “Do you remember the last time you tried *that* and screwed up? What makes you think you’ll do any better this time around? You aren’t good enough or capable of doing this. You need to just give up and forget all about it…”

    I love all these affirmations! (Did you create them yourself?) I’m going to write them all down and keep them with me all the time…

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      Cassandra, dearest, happy new year to you and so very happy to see you here. Thanks for coming back! I did create all of these by myself, it took a long time to write this post for many reasons but now it’s here and I am glad you are taking so much away from it. Everything you said, I agree with, and even though I come from a totally different culture (the middle east), the approach is the same and it’s devastating to our young innocent minds. But the good news is that we CAN change and move on and forgive ourselves.

      • Cassandra Roberts

        Dearest Farnoosh,

        Happy New Year to you too!

        I promise, I never left. =) I’ve continued to be a loyal reader and supporter of yours…I just haven’t been leaving any of my thoughts. Honestly, I’ve been in a place of struggling with depression and it’s been a little difficult for me to get myself motivated to stay connected with the people (& things) I really enjoy…but I remembered how much more difficult it was for me to get through this the last time when I separated myself, so I don’t want to repeat that anymore. You and Prolific Living are a great support for me and I want to thank you SO much for that!

        You are such a great role model and example to all of us…showing us that we don’t have to follow the “acceptable” path set for us to follow by society in order to be “successful”, that we don’t have to choose between being happy and being successful, and, even more important, that being profitable and having a purpose can go hand-in-hand. You also introduced me to one of the greatest people I’ve ever known – Jacob Sokol. He is the perfect example of who I strive to be…someone who had the strength & courage to jump off the paved path accepted by society to follow his OWN path created by his passions and purpose, who is completely authentic with who he is, uses his gifts, passions, and strengths to help others build a life they LOVE, and who is creating his earnings by delivering wealth to all those who know him. Basically…he’s the male version of you. (LOL) Thank you, thank you, thank you for all that you’ve done for me…& for every single person who’s been blessed enough to know you!

        I’m sure these took you a great deal of time to think of so that you could share them with all of us but I can tell you, without a doubt, every single minute that you spent on them was a million percent worth it…they bring SO much encouragement, hope & positivity to us all.

        You have an incredible gift of having a way with words & touching us each and every time you write & share your words with us.
        THANK YOU for another amazing post!

        With tons of love <3,

        Cassandra

        • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

          Hi @cassandra_roberts:disqus You are a sweet gem, and I actually had to share this with Jacob so he could see how much you admire him. I’m sure he’d be delighted to see it, and yes I recall connecting you a long time ago.

          I am sorry to hear about your depression & anxiety bouts. One of my friends is actually working on a program specifically for that. He’s battled it for a long time and come out of it and is creating his lessons learned through a program. I can put you in touch. And in the meanwhile, please do not disconnect from the rest of the world. That’s the worst thing you can do. Force yourself i you must to interact and engage and stay connected. Will you promise me that?

          Sending you love in return. It’s a new year and you are young and so much lays ahead for you. Go through life with your head high and your heart open. xoxo

          • Cassandra Roberts

            Sweetest Farnoosh,

            Thank you for your kind words! And I hope that my words can bring even a small smile to Jacob’s day… He is constantly bringing so much positivity, encouragement, & compassion into our lives. He deserves to know each & every day how much of an impact & happiness he brings to us.

            It’s great to hear that your friend is taking his struggles & journey with anxiety & depression and creating a program to help others who are struggling with them too. It’s unfortunate & heartbreaking but most of the time there are so many hurtful prejudices & stigmas associated with mental illnesses that it can make someone who’s struggling with one feel like he/she has nowhere to turn, afraid or even ashamed. When I had been attending our local community college, I wanted to create a club/group for bringing awareness to mental illness, those who suffer from them, & what it’s like to live with them. I was going to call it “Awakening to M.I”. The student club coordinator was really interested in my ideas & wanting to create the group but unfortunately we could never schedule a time to sit down together & go over the details.
            I would love to connect with your friend. It would be great to connect with someone who has struggled with the things I am struggling with and has gotten through it. It’s always a great help to have someone who can empathize with & relate to what you’re going through…

            And I promise I won’t let myself disconnect from life & those around me…I will make a conscious choice & effort to connect with at least one person every day.
            I love what you said — Go through life with your head high & heart open. I’m going to keep that with me every day. =)

            Thank you, Farnoosh!

            ♥,
            Cassandra

            • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

              @cassandra_roberts:disqus Real quick: I emailed and introduced you to Mike and think you should absolutely connect and exchange ideas both to help each other and also to help others overcome their challenges. This is an area that you would be an ideal person to help him and Awakening to M.I. is a club waiting to happen. I hope you decide to pursue it. Stay beautiful and confident, Cassandra!

  • http://passivelyfree.com/ Tal gur

    There are some great affirmations here Farnoosh. From my prespective, however, forgiveness is nice but unnecessary concept with unconditional love. There is nothing to forgive as nothing wrong ever happened…

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      Happy new year dear @talgur:disqus and thank you! That’s an interesting perspective. I have to think about that – thanks for dropping by! Hope you are doing fab!

  • Elissa Philgence

    Happy new year Ms. Farnoosh. Welcome back. I missed your beautiful words.

    Yes, it is so hard to forgive, but as you mention forgiveness=inner peace.

    I believe forgiveness is not so much an issue for me, however, letting that people back into my life is. I am always so fearful that they are going to come back and do the same ‘bad’ thing again.

    I have learn that it’s okay to forgive and love, but nothing is wrong with protecting yourself and loving yourself enough to just say NO. No to bad habits, no to negativity and no to people that always seem to want to make you unhappy like them.

    We cannot change another person, but we can change the way we treat ourselves and others. God has not giving us the spirit of fear but of love, peace and joy.

    Blessings and all things good for 2014.

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      Hi @elissaphilgence:disqus, happy new year to you too! I was actually just taking time to re-design and re-build the website. Do you like it?
      I totally hear you – and I didn’t say anything about letting those people back into your life. My goal for forgiveness IS all about inner-peace for ourselves first. IF you have apprehensions about letting them back, I would say listen to your gut and be on your guard. So I am totally with you on protecting yourself. Your outlook’s lovely. Don’t change a thing, Elissa! :)

      • Elissa Philgence

        Thank you. Oh, I am so sorry I forgot, your website is lovely. I thought it was lovely before also.

  • http://www.todayicanchange.com/ Robb Gorringe

    Hi Farnoosh,

    I listen to your podcast all the time, (sad to hear it’s ending), but like you said, more things will be coming. For this post, I do like #19. “I go with the flow that life brings me.” I’m finding more & more, that people are trying to change people, and that it’s becoming more difficult to simply just love people & not try to control everything.

    Great post!

    Robb

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      Sorry about the podcast @gorringe:disqus but if you stay on the confidence list (above – did you sign up) I will be bringing you lots of great stuff, and there may just be future podcasts. Thanks so much for listening, and for stopping by. Come back anytime!

      • http://www.todayicanchange.com/ Robb Gorringe

        Oh yes, I’ve been on your mailing list for about a month now. ;-) You always have good stuff!

        Thanks,

        R

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  • Amanda Kelly Bennett

    I would sincerely LOVE to help u in any way possible with this! I’ve been brainstorming also, my ideas are very similar to yours, except that i find it INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to narrow it down to a single cause. To clarify, I’ve thought of trying to create one central place of support groups, resources, counseling, & even social events. The only requirement would be to call/come to aask for help! Then from there the individual would (ideally on computer in a private place & not by paper for privacy & eliminating need to always be present in public in light of the social anxiety. experienced by any individual who feels different,etc) complete a “profile” similar to a social network, THIS ELIMINATES NEED FOR ACTUALLY TALKING TO SOMEONE AS A FIRST STEP, then without pressure to answer questions, they’d come out of their shell on their own (once again, ideally). There would be options to fit all personality types so that they could participate/benefit from this system no matter what. (Examples: being illiterate, there’d be a private area for them to state their needs, be informed of the options available, finally they’d make a choice & if they’re not impressed,interested,or if th

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      Thanks @amandakellybennett:disqus I will tag @cassandra_roberts:disqus to make sure she sees your response.