Forgiving yourself is the most difficult, most humbling and most liberating experience you can gift yourself. Yes, all three at the same time!
It takes serious effort to truly and completely forgive your own flaws and imperfections, get over your past mistakes, and let go of the time that was wasted on self-rage, self-pity and regret and for me, arriving at this point has taken a very long time.
Alas I am ready for it.
I am so tired of carrying the weight of should-have, could-have with me every day, and to look back with nostalgia and regret at the smarter choices I could have made or the opportunities I should have grabbed.
Can we please stop this insanity and come to peace with ourselves? Can we begin today with forgiving ourselves for whatever shame or bitterness or regret we’ve been carrying for far too long?
Let us believe we are worthy of more than we think we are.
Life happens. We have one chance to react. That reaction spawns off other events. We manage them the best we can.
Now it’s over and you are here in this moment in time. Why carry the burden to eternity when you can drop it by forgiving yourself?
The last few weeks, I’ve been writing doing what author Julia Cameron of The Artist’s Way calls The Morning Pages: A minimum of 750 words every morning. Let me tell you, it’s not the polished writing that goes in here. Instead, it’s the stream of consciousness that lets me get the words – whatever words – out of my head and into the pages.
Instead, I have had no trouble filling my morning pages with a flow of bitter angry self-berating rubbish.
Where is this coming from, I wonder? I thought I was doing pretty well. My subconscious disagrees. I have not yet let go of the past mistakes, of the blame, of the bitterness.
Apparently, I have not yet forgiven myself. Go figure!
Ah forgiveness. The beautiful and humbling process of distancing yourself from the anger, bitterness, frustration, hurt, guilt, shame that you feel about a situation or about a person, including yourself. The noble act of freeing yourself by rising above the negativity that desperately wants to pull you down.
This is liberation at its highest form and it is a form of being divine as a human being and becoming one with the true source of life, the true positive flowing energy of hope, love and positivity.
That’s my flowery albeit genuine description of forgiveness, take it or leave it but what I am about to say next is even MORE important so pay attention:
Forgiveness does not mean you are weak and you are letting others walk all over you. Forgiveness does not portray you as a loser, a quitter or a dummy. Absolutely positively NOT! Do I look like I would let anyone walk all over me? Do you? No way! No how!
Now that you understand what forgiveness is, you have to come to terms at how powerful it really is. You have to move beyond just saying the words and step into believing them. Forgiveness is powerful. You must believe that first or none of these affirmations will help you.
Coming to this point may take time, and the good news is that you can take all the time you need darling. When you are ready, and not a minute sooner, come back and read the 25 affirmations below to forgive yourself and let go of the past so you can move into the new year with hope, optimism and love.
The 25 Affirmations to Forgive Your Past and Free Your Mind
Read these affirmations out loud the first time around and let the sound of your voice become natural and let the words ring true for you.
Repeat them everyday for a week. Put them in your phone or a notebook you carry, and say them while driving or washing the dishes or putting on your clothes for the day. Say them when you are alone and feel anger or regret or sadness.
And do yourself a favor: believe yourself worthy of these truths:
1. I lay down the heavy weight of doubt, shame, guilt and embarrassment.
2. I release the past so I can step into the future with pure intentions.
3. I am capable of moving beyond my mistakes.
4. I am able to heal from the hurt and pain of what I have caused.
5. I am worthy of all the compassion and kindness life offers me.
6. I forgive myself one day at a time until it’s complete.
7. I gently release the grip of anger and rage from my body.
8. I set my past free and forgive my participation in it.
9. I give up the hope of a different past by accepting my true past.
10. I trust my present and future decisions based on love and good intentions.
11. I trade my anger and rage for understanding and compassion.
12. I accept that I did the best I could at the time with what I knew.
13. I have the courage to heal and become whole again.
14. I will treat myself with respect and kindness from today forward.
15. I forgive others as I forgive myself: with ease, sincerity and loving compassion.
16. I take this small step toward greater growth.
17. I am willing to live with all of who I am.
18. I am capable of loving all of who I am.
19. I go with the flow that life brings me.
20. I grow more patient and understanding of others by forgiving myself.
21. I let go of all self-judgement and self-sabotage.
22. I melt into an ocean of love and forgiveness.
23. I grow stronger and better as I forgive myself to move on.
24. I forgive myself so that I can have inner peace again.
25. I can only share my gift with the world if I first forgive myself.
What if you do not believe in affirmations in the first place?
Right there with you honey! In the not too distant past, I did not believe in the power of affirmations. At All. I could not fathom how simple happy positive phrases can undo the suffering and pain that you go through.
But I stand corrected. They work and they are such a simple tweak that it’s worth at least trying, don’t you think? Today, I believe in them because I have experienced the power of healing from affirmations first hand.
Proof is a great thing for the logical mind! But here’s the rub: the desire for proof before believing is precisely what delays – or sometimes completely blocks – the healing. So don’t let proof or lack of it dictate your desire to forgive yourself.
Forgiven yourself much lately?
Your turn: I know, this is a vulnerable topic, but it makes it all the more important especially if it’s blocking your way to a better life. Have you had trouble forgiving yourself? Or do you have tips on how to forgive oneself better? Tell me your story in the comments below!