The Problem with Balance
Seek balance in all things you do in life. This is the well-known and often-heard universal advice to many challenges and problems in life. Experts constantly encourage us to do all things in balance. Corporate life encourages a life-work balance attitude (as though work is not part of life, but maybe that’s just semantics). Balance in our work, in our hobbies, in our careers, and in our relationships. Do you really think this is the best approach to living well?
Balance means everything is in equilibrium. It means you allocate just the right amount of time to all the things that ask for your attention. You should do just enough of this and just enough of that, and take care of everything and everyone in perfect balance and harmony. This could be a safe and smart approach to life for many. It makes for a very orderly and possibly stress-free life. It may even take you safely into old age and afford you much wisdom along the way.
But how can you pursue wild passionate dreams in the calm of balance and order? How can you achieve greatness without complete chaos and turmoil first? How can a balanced distribution of all your efforts yield a significant result in any one aspect of your life?
Trade in Balance for Focused Intensity
If Michelangelo had balance in his life, would he have sculpted the surreal La Pietà at 24 years old and painted his masterpieces, “The Last Judgment” and the entire ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, among other prized treasures, all in one lifetime? If Leonardo da Vinci had balance, would he ever have given the world the Mona Lisa and the Last Supper to admire with eternal awe, not to mention his other brilliant timeless beauty? If Leo Tolstoy had balance, would he have given us War and Peace and Anna Karenina in such a short time?
The answer is an emphatic no. Quite obviously, balance and genius do not go hand in hand.
And if the thought of not comparing yourself to such greatness crosses your mind, dispel it instantly. Because it is a self-fulfilling prophecy that we become what we think. I would be the first to admit my conviction that there will never ever be another Michelangelo or Leonardo da Vinci or Tolstoy but that is irrelevant to the point at hand.
The masterminds of the Renaissance and literature did not have balanced, orderly lives. They had a deep passion, purpose and yearning in their lives and lived to fulfill it with all their might in their every waking moment.
And if you were to choose any role model for your life, would these genius minds come short in inspiration?
I think we need less balance in all things and more focused intensity in the right things.
The creation of balance may rightfully convince you that you have no time for that art class you are dying to take or that musical instrument you are longing to play if you want to keep this perfect balance and order in your life. Because those new pursuits may mean less sleep and less time with your family and perhaps even less social time with the co-workers. The guidelines of balance may very well discourage you altogether to pursue anything else at all. You have way more than enough to do as it is but are they the right things on which to spend your finite time in life?
And besides, it’s quite possible that art class may not kindle your passion; you may realize you have no talent for art but your passion lies in music or theatrics or writing. Or perhaps like many happy grown adults, your true calling is still undefined and yet to be found. But balance is not going to help you find it. Curiosity, deep search, questions, trial-and-error, and stepping out of your comfortable zone into unknown territory, that is how you will find your calling.
Passions, Focus Intensity and Happiness
There is no such thing as too late or too old for pursuit of your passions. There is only sloth and complacence that get in the way and too much balance and harmony may just feed your comfort zone to the point where you relax too much and miss out on your own greatness.
Defining the right things to focus on with insane passion rather than focusing on everything with balance, that is the best way to unlock your own potentials and tap into your true reservoir of talent and abilities.
Maybe it’s time for that extra relationship or responsibility to go if it no longer is serving you well. It may be anything but easy to make those calls – but not making them is the worst regret of all. Maybe it is a waste of time to complete mundane tasks and fill in the weekends with an extra hour of relaxation or a trip to the beach – and maybe it would do your soul and inner core some good if you pursued a difficult project which will have your wheels spinning to the wee hours of the morning. Maybe in the process, you learn something amazing about who you are, and what you really like, conventions and propriety be damned.
My main question for you is this: Are you living a full, intense and passionate life or just creating balance in things that demand your attention? Are you swimming purposely in a certain direction or letting the waves shove you here and there and just staying afloat and balanced in the process?
When you find a niche which calls your name, and to which you can passionately belong, exercising balance in your life may seem irrelevant in presence of such joy, happiness and completeness. The happiest people I know do not have much balance at all. They have a deep passion which exhausts them and challenges them and yet feeds them with this incredible stream of joy and happiness. They are fanatical about what they want, they are filled with energy and drive, they are unstoppable. They go for long periods without rest or relaxation. They sacrifice heaps and make many hard choices and live in chaos more often than not but they seem to be the happiest of all.
When you find such a place, balance is out the window and you dedicate your entire life to creating greatness. You will live and breathe your passion with focused intensity and from it flows all the happiness and peace of mind imaginable.
My greatest question at the day’s end is not whether I have relaxed enough, rested enough, and allocated enough time to everything which demands my time and effort. It is whether I have put my talents to good use and fed my passions and deepest desires to the best of my abilities. And at the end of my life, I imagine my greatest regret would be if I never pursued a passion with insane focus and drive and not whether I lived a fully balanced life. Today, I am living a life that would give that regret no chance. Are you?
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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Farnoosh,
I love your perspective on ‘Balance.’ I always contend that successful people and geniuses alike are “Marvelously Obsessed” with what they are up to. You sum it perfectly when you said, “I think we need less balance in all things and more focused intensity in the right things.” Personally, I have found this the most gratifying and fulfilling way to live.
Farnoosh!
I LOVE this!! I used to think about balance and how good that was. And then there was this shift – what you call focused intensity – and I call harmony. So, I use the word harmony to mean that the parts of my life are in harmony – or that I may focus on one particular area for a while, because it IS important. And that doesn’t mean that other parts of my life don’t matter. It just means that, at this time, there is one thing which really has my passion. And it does take more focus. And while all things may not be equal (read: balanced) – I still have not forgot about all areas of my life – just more focus on certain areas.
And I believe very much that this IS how we really touch upon what matters to us – by stepping away from balance and more toward our focus (while keeping harmony at the same time). Again, I see harmony as recognizing all areas of our life – and allowing certain things to take additional focus as needed.
wonderfully written!!!
I loved this thought-provoking article, and will come back later to read the comments. Meanwhile, I think I am going to post a link to it on my own blog. I can’t argue with anything you say here!
Thank you for your comments…..
~ rob white: First time I see you here, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I am telling you right now that I am stealing “marvelously obsessed” phrase from you. Well-said
~Lance: Your definition of harmony is key to distinguishing between it and balance – and I can’t argue that we need harmony in other aspects of life while we focus relentlessly at the task at hand that is asking for our undivided drive.
~Garry: Thank you on both accounts!
“Are you swimming purposely in a certain direction or letting the waves shove you here and there and just staying afloat and balanced in the process?’
Awesome question, Farnoosh!!
When I feel myself making waves I know I’m on the right track. And by “making waves” I mean going outside my comfort zone, trying things that feel a bit crazy. (Like that nutty video I recorded today and posted on my blog, in my sidebar.) Challenging myself. That’s when I really feel alive!
I do believe in balance, as in going with the flow when life gives us those little detours — those little times we need to be flexible. And see what we can learn about ourselves in the process.
Great to meet you Farnoosh! And glad to see you over at my blog!
Oooh, Farnoosh – what a juicy post! I just love it.
I completely agree that balance is way overrated, but, I definitely think our mindset is changing. I strive more for harmony now — I love what I do and spend an incredible amount of time and energy on it, but I also have a family and other obligations. I spend lots of time in focused intensity, but, I also weave in small bouts of mental and physical space to give my ideas and my work some breathing room — enter yoga and meditation.
Thanks for the amazing post!
xoxo.
Hey Farnoosh!
I loved this line:
“I think we need less balance in all things and more focused intensity in the right things.”
I think that hits it right on. There’s no point in “balancing” the unimportant – if it’s important to someone else, and perhaps we have obligations, those are a separate issue and need to be dealt with. But I think you’re right on point – rather than trying to balance everything on your plate, why not clear your plate of everything that shouldn’t be there so you can just focus on what *should* be on your plate =)
I was writing an article on balance yesterday with the exact same thoughts. Passion beats balance each and every time. And so true, hard to imagine any great person who accomplished great thing to be balanced.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts….
~Jannie, so glad the words resonated. I think we all know the feeling of the ocean pulling and pushing us and the feeling of swimming in calm waters and going wherever our heart desires. I did see your video and like your boldness. Beautiful!
~Nona, good to see you and thank you for the RT and the comment..thank you for defining harmony in that way. ….I think Lance agrees too (see his comment). Obligations are always important but sometimes there are things that we just do as part of our habits and they are not contributing to our passion or the pursuit of our own greatness….!
~Sid, very nice to see you here. Exactly….Balancing everything is not going to get us to our dreams, it’s focusing on the right thing and making sacrifices here and there….Excellent plate analogy – easy to understand for a picky eater like moi
!
~Lana, “passion beats balance” – thank you for saying it even better than me. Lovely to see you here!
Hi Farnoosh.
There are a bunch of relevant points here. First, I must say the article sure looks well-written to me, with some cool use of bolding as well. I sure take note of these things.
I can’t think of anything that beats focused intensity. When I think of focused intensity, I think of times where I have done more in 2 hours than I normally do in 5 days. I have learned to continue when I am in that period of 2 hours for as long as possible. The time there is worth double or triple-time.
You are right that there is no “too late” or “too old”. Sometimes people wish there was so they could give up without feeling guilty, but there is no time when giving up is the winning option.
I have to say that the people that often make use of focused intensity make those who don’t look like they are amoebas – it is that potent.
Armen, that is exactly what I mean – your example of doing more in a short period of time if we are truly focused with intent, rather than in longer periods when we balance things out….And glad you see eye to eye in that it is never too late. No excuses are a good enough excuse when it comes to giving up. I agree too. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your copious thoughts!
Farnoosh – focussed intensity! I love that concept. It makes sense to me as I pursue my goals and dreams. I think we can keep life balanced if we have real focus on what is most important. I try to give 100% to everything I do and that helps me to enjoy every moment – whether it is “work” or “pleasure” (although the two are really the same!). Thanks for a great post.
Phil
Phil ~ I agree so much that I am even ok with the British spelling of focussed – with the double s!! And it is indeed the sweet spot when work and pleasure blend, so good to hear you have reached that state!
Hi Farnoosh,
as a person writing about and striving for balance, I was interested in reading your post.
I think that there are different meanings to balance and most people (in my personal opinion) use the wrong conception of it. There is this “mathematical equation” balance that you were talking about (giving equal amounts of time and energy to different areas of life) and then there is just natural balance.
The first one is completely worthless even in my opinion. It is just not natural for us, people, and for everything around us to be equal (this is some type of Utopia after all!)
I think that natural balance (this is the one I am looking for and the one I write about in my blog) is the one when you feel inner peace and harmony inside of you. It’s not about doing everything equally, but it is about doing something as much as you desire to fulfill your purpose in life. I still think that if you completely only on one passion or area in life, then you might simply miss the other wonderful things around you.
The example that comes to my mind is the one about Pierre Curie (he was the husband of Maria Curie and they both made some incredible discoveries in radioactivity). He was so passionate about his work and his projects that he was thinking about them constantly. One day he was crossing the street thinking about his projects and he was struck by a horse-drawn vehicle. He died the same day. I think this is the type of focus that went wrong.
I don’t want to end my comment on such a sad note. I do agree that mathematical balance is absolutely worthless and any genius requires passion. But after all a lot of geniuses still had loving families and they were more than just scientists or artists (Thomas Edison is just one example.) Maybe natural balance still has some place in your life too?
Thank you for a wonderful thought-provoking post!
Anastasiya, what a beautiful name you have! Thank for you for the challenging and thought-provoking response. We could be grossly involved in one passion so as to turn a blind eye to other things – and I am sure the genius minds of Michelangelo and Leonardo did, as they had no family life, no other occupations but that of creating masterpieces. Yet you give me such a great example of Madame Curie’s husband, who died such an unfortunate death (although it’s hard to know if that could’ve been prevented, accidents are such freak events). Overall, agreed that mathematical balance makes little sense even though it is sometimes encouraged, and our obligations do call our name and perhaps i need to relax my intensity to appreciate some balance too. Thank you for all your words here!
Hey Farnoosh,
Great article.
That is indeed great passion for life and for purpose and I agree with you about balance, it definetly does not get one anywhere. It is just a structure, and if you want to get involved in your dreams, it’s best to just jump in them!
I admit I have been pausing into a sort of balance latetly and not giving myself the chance of jumping into something fully, and I have gone back to where I started so to speak in that structure, but am noticing that now as when I am in such a structure I am far away from my passion and not as involved as I want to be.
I do have a calling, a vision and a purpose in this world and that is very much strong, always has been and I notice that it’s the strongest now as when I step back into that structure which is not the right step for me at this time in my life. I have so many opportunities awaiting me, leading me to that place to that purpose and I know now it’s just a matter of going into them, regardless of whether it has to be the right ‘one’ because of balance.
I believe I was drawn to this article at a time much in sync with my own flow of life, and I am grateful for reading such an insightful and wonderful reminder of life in existence, as that is really what we are here for! To live our dreams!
Was wonderful to see you stop by on my blog.
Gooday and enjoy whatever comes your way this week!
Another thing that just triggered when I saw your post, as I just read Anastasiya’s comment is the inner balance we have with ourselfs and how we embrace each moment. I find inner balance is key in how we address our passions, because if we don’t have that balance inside us, who knows what might happen as Anastasiya’s kindly pointed out in the Pierre Curie example. I whole heartedly believe that if we want to achieve anything in life we must know ourselfs fully and how to connect to our own inner balance before turning our dreams into realization. I think this is where I am at too!
Here here to dreams!!
Ana, lovely to see you here – and believe it or not, I know how you feel! Pausing and searching or just making sure something is right before jumping in are part of the process – and it is so not easy to just trust our guts and take risks and go with what we think is right….perhaps the opportunities knocking may mean that it’s time to give it a go and jump in to take a chance. In any case, as you may have seen above, I read the bit about Pierre Curie as well and whatever may have caused his premature accident, perhaps enjoying life while delving into those passions is not such a bad lesson to take away. To dreams indeed!
Farnoosh,
Thank you for your response.
It’s interesting as this is the first time this is happening to me, stopping and pausing especially when I am in the flow of it so passionatetly and balanced. I tend to just go with the flow of things intuitively, but latetly something definetly has happened to stop the flow of it. It’s been my mind mainly, which rarely enters the experience. The mind of natter and ‘can’t do’ that is, because it watches others in her path in that structure and in a way becomes drawn to them and wanting to be in that structure herself, even though deep down she knows she’ll never be in that structure, because she is born to live her dreams.
Ana, have you tried yoga and meditation to clear the path or to just help you think through the current hesitation you are having? Maybe there is a subconscious fear or a source of your hesitation that you simply cannot see or identify right now….Enough to know you are born to live your dreams. The rest is detail but sometimes gets in the way!!! Best of luck!
Dear Farnoosh,
It’s such great fun and liberating.
I meditate inwardly on a subconscious level either in my own space or sometimes I go to be at one with nature where I let things resolve themselfs there and then. Meditation has never worked for me, because I am already still within. I usually know why the things that happen occurr, as it comes to me like a flash and the clearing is more on a soul and energetic level than anything. I know why now. I just felt like sharing with you what has been happening in my own path, so you can see where I am coming from.
My dreams are part of the reason am here on a conscious level, to help heal the world and bring people together on a more axis shift scale.
On the note following on from your question, I do movement but that is more to relax the energy in my body and allow it to freely flow. And I also do Ectastic trance meditation or just Ecstatic dance which again is a great way to connect with the life force and to freely welcome the energies into the body and express it in a way that is in tune with the present moment. I love dancing and exercising the body!
Quite the thought provoking article you’ve written Farnoosh…
While I think balance has its uses in certain aspects of our lives, living a “balanced” lifestyle will very rarely turn into an accomplished lifestyle. Sure, we may have all our basic needs met, but in order to achieve greatness we’re going to have to focus our efforts on what it is we want to excel at.
Just look at the typical American lifestyle… we’re told to work for 8 hours (9-5) sleep for 8 hours, and then that leaves us with 8 hours of “personal” time… hardly the most exciting way to live!
Not only that, why should we be forced to spread out our passion amongst a variety of different things if it’s only one thing which truly holds our passion? Over these past few months I’ve been working on my first novel, something which has been a brainchild of mine for over 2 years now. Having finally gotten my thoughts organized, I find that some days ALL I want to do is write. Of course, being a very social person I still make time every day for friends, but where “work” is concerned, my writing gets the majority of my attention… I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s because of this that I go to bed every night feeling both mentally exhausted and yet simultaneously void of hunger, finally wetting my taste buds on what it is I truly desire.
Travis, writing is addictive and writing a novel is a fantastic exercise for the brain. I am envious and wish you all the best, but you seem to already be reaping such rewards by feeling gratified at the end of the day from all your work. Ah the best reward of work is the joy of work itself. The American lifestyle suits very few pursuing passions…..on that we agree. Best of luck with the writing! Thanks for sharing those thoughts!
I believe that finding balance is not everything in life, it is just an ideal state many sought for happiness and complacency. Everything in this world is reciprocal, there can be no harmony without chaos, no happiness without adversity, no success if there’s no failure. For those who choose to grow in spirit, they will gain the higher understanding about the true nature of our existence.
Walter, I love the prose….it’s beautiful, I am going to steal it and use it later
!
(just kidding): “no harmony without chaos, no happiness without adversity, no success if there’s no failure.”…..thank you so much for your super thoughts!
great post Farnoosh
…my thoughts on balance is to simply find balance in my consciousness…to be centered in my consciousness…to be a witness of my mind…not to react to life…to respond to it totally…so no matter what may be going on in my external world…I am grounded and at peace in my inner world…and whatever actions I take I do them totally…if I am relaxing I do it totally..if it is working on a painting to do it totally..to bring total awareness to whatever I am doing…it brings great beauty and creativity to it…so to me it is just a matter of awareness… of consciousness…of having an incredibly quiet sensitive mind…..but this requires one to have a deep understanding of the mind, of the nature of thought, of the self….the reality is that most of us are full of inner divisions of fragments yet we believe we only have one personality…so until we become an integrated whole…balance or any other concept or approach will be just one more thing we struggle with….love your writing style…keep it up…and be well….
Hi ivan, thank you so much for sharing. I am quite envious of you being able to do that, and will start approaching my days and my life that way. A total immersion approach in everything you do. No multi-tasking. No distraction. Just being and doing what it is you are doing at the moment. It’s actually very similar to the yoga philosophy of being totally present, but it’s an eternal challenge and yet small progress brings me so much happiness. Thanks for the beautiful way you expressed it, and I shall keep writing and hope that you keep reading.
I like this!
Interestingly enough the first novel I read as a youth was The Agony and the Ecstasy! Being an artist, where life is my medium, I’m still learning about those.
If I may, have you read The Book of Qualities? One of the qualities it personifies is Intensity, which I found myself resonating with.
Thank you for this and for your comment on my sister’s story!
Hi Dr. J, thank you for the book recommendations. I have listed all the books I have read – with exception of very few – here, with the reviews:
http://www.prolificliving.com/blog/book-blogs/
I have yet to make it to the 2 you mention here but shall check them out.
You are quite welcome ~ that story moved me a lot!
Hi Farnoosh,
This is the first time I’ve read about balance from this angle. I’m stuck in balance is what I’ve just figured out. Comfortably stuck! Yikes…hopefully this will give me the push to be passionate again. That’s what I needed a push! Thank you…really this is exactly what I needed to read.
Tess, I think you are being modest, you bold woman!!
But no matter, thank you for humoring me and you are quite welcome….!! I am all for pushing people, my husband would tell you that in a heartbeat…..best of luck!
What an excellent post, Farnoosh! I love what you said about having passion for something. I think this is what drives a person to excel on something. This allows him to turn his limiting beliefs into motivation. In addition, I think it’s important that a person identifies what his values are. This would help him find his passion.
Hi Linda, so happy you enjoyed this…Values aligned to Passion definitely help clarify what that each category contains for us. Nice! Thanks for stopping by!
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