Yesterday, I finally had a conversation with Fear.
You probably know Fear as well as I do.
It is the feeling of insecurity and doubt that makes you uneasy all around when you least expect it.
It is the nervousness at the pit of your belly and the shake in your finger tips that is well beyond normal jitters.
It creeps in during the most momentous occasions in your life and sets out to do some damage in one way or another.
It finds its way into your heart as you are planning a life-changing event and whispers worries and anxiety into your ear.
It shows up uninvited and unwelcome as you are making a big decision in your life only to make you hesitate.
It weighs its heavy burden on your shoulders as you are embracing an opportunity to stand before a live audience and tell them your story.
How do you have a conversation with such a beast? How do you make it listen and obey you? How do you convey that you and only you are the master of the ceremony that is your life?
How do you tell Fear not to interfere with your greatness?
There are times in your life where you should not allow Fear to come in through that door. There are days that Fear should not interrupt. There are moments when you need to muster the courage and silence the Fear. There are days that Fear should absolutely not darken with its shadows.
So this is how my conversation went:
You know what? You are not getting the best of me. Not today, not this time.
I have had it with you. I am sick and tired of taking you into the most special times in my life and having you mess it up and walk away laughing. I am done letting you take away from my glorious moments and having you limit my potential.
Enough already. I am kicking you out. I am going to go out there without you because you have never ever served me well.
From now on, I will walk without you. I will make my decisions without you. I will face an unknown without you. I am going to take my chances without you.
I should only let you in to do what you are supposed to do, which is to keep me safe from harm and immediate danger. No other roles are asked of you so beyond that, you are not interrupting the flow of my life.
In fact, I choose to live the rest of the days without you. And if I were you, I’d take me very seriously.
How do you prepare yourself to have this conversation with Fear?
You cannot bluff your way with Fear. It knows you through and through. You have to be prepared for the decision, the opportunity, the event, the road ahead and you do that by practicing. By knowing your skills. By sharpening the saw. By having a plan and a backup plan and another backup plan. By understanding the circumstances and taking calculated risks. By informing yourself of all the necessities. By having confidence in yourself and your abilities.
You do not have to wait for a grand occasion to have this conversation with Fear. The opportunities are around you every day.
Are you ever going to take that trip to see your children or friends half-way across the country, or visit the city of your dreams since childhood, or will you let the fear of travel paralyze you and leave you with nothing but regret in your old age?
Are you ever going to take up an opportunity to speak in front of a crowd and share your compelling message or will you shy away from the Fear of public speaking and always be one of the audience?
Are you ever going to part ways with people who do not serve you well (a must read story from Christine Gilbert) or will you continue to carry the burden of wrong influences in your life?
Are you ever going to take chance and do something you love to do every day to create some sense of fulfillment and happiness in your work or will you go with the flow until the rest of your days even against your heart’s pleas and desires?
What? I don’t understand and it’s hard? Of course it is! No kidding!
Whoever said it is supposed to be easy? Nothing worth achieving is easy. But it is possible. All of what you can imagine is possible. Do you want it and are you willing to go for it? That is the only question. Excuses cloud possibilities. The lust for comfort and security clouds the true desires of the heart.
So no, it’s not easy but it is possible to leave Fear behind, to walk into the momentous occasions of your life without it and to claim your own greatness.
Have you ever had a conversation with Fear?
This post was inspired by the insane jitters from the fabulous opportunity to speak at Blogworld this week on May 26th. Thank you for your incredible support, my darling readers and let us not let Fear in where Fear serves no purpose.