Welcome back to Episode #37 of The Daily Interaction podcast. Today’s topic is on The Second Rule of Confidence: Moving Through Your Doubts and Insecurities.
Do you believe, as I do, that we are all born confident, but we manage to hide that confidence over the years with layers of doubt, fear, insecurities – or Leaping Lizards as my friend Sandi calls them, and with second-guessing our every move and comparing every inch of our lives with strangers and with delusions of grandeur? Or is it a perhaps a really far stretch to what you are accustomed to believing: that you are either a confident person or not, and it is a mixture of luck, family upbringing, culture and society?
Well, if we can choose our beliefs consciously, then would you be willing to choose the former if only for today – that we are all born confident and just need to uncover the heavy layers to let our confidence breathe?
The inspiration for talking about confidence comes from a FREE program on Confidence Building Series that I am offering all my email subscribers. If you want in on the tips, resources, and exercises on building confidence for you in bite-size chunks every other week then just go to the top right hand corner of this page here and sign up. The program is LIVE now.
Guess Who is the Fresh Voice This Episode:
Michael Brown, UK leadership coach and negotiation teacher, is the Fresh New Voice today on the show and I am honored that Michael took the time to record the introductions for me. I met Michael in 2007 and he has been a mentor, a coach and now a friend. His blog, Real Learning for a Change, takes a new approach to education and his videos on YouTube are hilarious – it is the British humor – and full of insights. Thank you Michael for doing the voice-over for me.Thank you, Michael!
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Your Weekly Friday Show Notes:
1. Why doubts are sometimes a really good thing and why in those times, you need to listen to them, versus the other times when the doubts are damaging and destructive and you need to recognize those and be cautious about them.
2. The essence of self-doubt and why that equates your faith in your own failure to such an extent that you eliminate possibility of success in the process, and what you should do about it.
3. What Bill Murray, Lost in Translation, and Japanese have to do with self-doubt. You gotta listen for the story, because I can’t do it justice in text.
4. Approach Number 1 on How to deal with doubt: I tell you how to leave self-doubt as is and to start with confidence. I give you tips on integrating confidence into your thinking and your mindset with concrete examples.
5. Approach Number 2 on How to deal with doubt: How to push through doubt, how to get the mindset of a lab experiment and what to expect, and what kind of questions to ask of yourself after the experiment.
6. How it will feel when you awaken your inner confidence and why you need to do the inner work to get there. Related podcast episodes are Episode 6: Asking for what you what and also Episode 26: Having the Salary Conversation.
7. Wherever you put your energy and attention, that will grow so you choose whether you are going to put that energy and focus on your doubts or on your confidence, and remember to make the best assumptions about your life and about others.
8. My last, final tip, and it took some guts to do this one on the air – if neither of the above approaches work for you, I give you the tip I have been using to stop the chatter in my brain, especially if you are in an unresolved emotional situation. Listen to the show for the “demo”!
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{ 12 brilliant comments, Care to add another? }
Doubts and insecurities are a scary thing to travel through for many people! I feel mine mostly when I wake up in the middle of the night. I like how you change the thought from being scared to knowing that doubts are really a good thing and that we need to listen to them. Thanks for all those tips! I’ll listen to the podcast next!
Hugs!
Betsy
Betsy, it IS so scary and so many of my readers tell me about this one – what about yours? And do you really wake up in the middle of the night? Gosh, maybe use Angela’s meditation right before going to bed. It’s magical and I’ve used lots of different stuff before. Hugs back!
Betsy, like I told Cathy, if you have any requests for future podcast topics, just give me a shout. Happy to fulfill requests.
Hi Farnoosh,
We often listen to the mind chatter which tells us that we are not good enough, smart enough, no one will listen, etc., etc. You are sending a powerful message to work through these doubts and insecurities so that we can truly be our best selves.
I love your line – “…we are all born confident, but we manage to hide that confidence over the years with layers of doubt, fear, insecurities…” Thanks for a great post – and I as well will get over now to listen to the podcast.
What a sweet, kind, and loving person you are, Cathy. Thank you for sharing the same things that my readers have sent me about their struggles, that’s really what led me to create the confidence series. Thank you for being here and if you have any suggestions on future podcast episodes, let me know.
I love your idea of looking at things like a lab experiment. It totally strips the situation of the emotions that drive doubt and insecurities. It’s similar to how I face many difficult choices. Playing the worst-case-scenario game and vividly living out the scenarios in my mind takes away so much of the fear that creates doubts.
And if I don’t know what to do in a situation, after doing some analysis, I simply to something, anything, to move things forward. I review the results and make a choice to take another action, assessing the results again.
Maybe it’s just my logical, analytical brain in action but it helps so much in moving forward and getting out of my comfort zone and getting past my fears, doubts and insecurities.
Thanks so much for this series and your new program! It’s definitely needed by so many people!
Dear Paige, how nice to chat with you yesterday. And so glad you like the lab experiment idea.
It seems that you are action oriented, and that’s the BEST thing we can do in the face of difficult situations. And I can’t wait to share the program with you and everyone. Lovely to have your support. Thank you.
Sweet Farnoosh, thank you for another amazing & tremendously helpful TDI episode! I have listened to this episode over and over, and never grown tired of listening to what you share. Our self-doubt and insecurities are two things that can (& will) majorly impact how our lives turn out each and every day. I really agree with you when you say that doubts, fears, and insecurities can’t be completely erased from our lives…but they are definitely things that need to be worked through, understood, and diminished as much as possible. We can’t in any way reach the greatness we are meant for in our lives if these are things that are constantly overcoming and controlling us. Great podcast!
I can’t wait until the Confidence Building series comes this Wednesday! I’m really looking forward to starting that.
Hoping you have an amazingly positive week, & that you feel better,
Cassandra
Cassandra, darling, I cannot think of a higher reward than your words and the way that you enjoy and find value in my podcasts. THANK YOU for taking the time to tell me. I am so so humbled.
Also, remember, you have a gift with writing, and articulating your thoughts and expressing them in beautiful prose. KEEP WRITING. And I hope the Confidence Building brings plenty of love and confidence to you.
Farnoosh, I’m glad that I can bring some positivity to you!
And THANK YOU for the amazing compliment! You put a huge smile on my face 
I hope that one day my words, thoughts, and lessons/experiences will help and touch as many people as yours have! That will be my greatest success – making a difference in others’ lives. And I have absolutely no doubt that your brilliant series will help me in great ways…just as you have! Best, and the most positive of wishes for you…Big, big hugs!
XOXO,
Cassandra
Farnoosh –
What a great blog, made even better by audio! Tremendously insightful and very practical. Just what I needed!
Best,
Bruce
Bruce, welcome here. I am SO happy to see you and thank yo so much for the kind words and I am sending you even more encouragement.
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