Welcome back to Episode #31 of The Daily Interaction podcast. Today’s topic is how respond to and interact with the inevitable baby or children question that is either implied or direct, if you have opted out of the procreation process for now or altogether.
So if you don’t want to have babies, for the moment or ever, first I have news for you: You are perfectly fine, and even better than fine, so stop doubting your sanity or well-being. Got that?
Ok, moving on! Second, you can still live a perfectly full life – which, by the way, is entirely possible so long as you believe it and choose it.
So when it comes to practical matters like going about your life in a society filled with people who generally do have children, how do you respond and do so with poise, style, grace and the utmost respect to those who question your choice, even if it is none of their business, which it never ever is but it still happens.
How do you stand your ground and hold your position on the matter and still befriend and connect with people who disagree with you?
People choose to have children for many different reasons, maybe to have those baby showers or nurture the need to take care of someone that is a part of them or to just have the experience. The reasons vary and multiply and you can never know all the reasons people have children, but that does not obligate you to A) have children and B) to have any reason for not wanting children, much less a sound logical reason.
It is really important to realize that you have freedom of choice, as does everyone else. You can choose to live with or without children and the reasons can be yours, personal and private and always kept inside, if need be. You do not need to share your reasons.
You are your own unique person and what you do with your life and more importantly, your body, is your business and yours alone. The day that you let others dictate what is best for you will mark the beginning of your deep-rooted unhappiness so be proud to think and decide for yourself and do so by staying true to who you are and more importantly, whom you want to become.
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Your Weekly Friday Show Notes:
1. Why this topic came about and why I feel so passionate talking to you today about having the baby conversation in public, in social events and as you go about your life and run into people who may question your choice for opting out.
2. First of four myths that I bust, the reasons I give you, and the specific responses I give you that will be both kind and engaging and still extremely fair to you. Plus, these responses make you feel good, rather than ashamed or as an outcast.
3. What is the most important thing to pay attention to when you are formulating your answers to the baby question. Don’t miss this one.
4. A special tip when you are dealing with your parents, or especially your mom and/or mother-in-law, and what to take into account in these conversations.
5. The second myth that I bust by using myself as a perfect example and I give away a bit more information than usual but it was necessary to share this with you for credibility. Plus, the special case of my poor uncle and the Iranian influence on the importance of having children in every single marriage under the sun.
6. Sharing the personal incident with my mom and how much we disagree on this topic.
7. The third myth which is my favorite to bust, because it is the most ridiculous assumption to make about people who choose not to have children, and how I crush this myth for you by showing you how it does not serve you well.
8. The debate on selfishness, and why it’s neither selfish to have children or to not have children, as well as the fact that selfishness is pure virtue. Busting this fourth myth with some great examples and a word on Ayn Rand, one of my all-time most favorite authors.
9. My closing words and thoughts, at least for now – I have so much more to say on the topic of choice and children – what matters most when it comes to your decision on children.
Announcement: If you are in a miserable, unhappy job, hear me out: you do not have to stay there! I would love to welcome you into my Smart Exit Blueprint class where you create your smart exit strategy out of that job and into your true path. Class starts Feb 20th. Late registration ends Feb. 27th, midnight east coast time on Friday. I do not know when and if I am offering this course again, so if you want in, now is the time.
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{ 10 brilliant comments, Care to add another? }
I absolutely love your approach here. The advice you give to others to always draw the reasons back to themselves rather than making broad statements and generalizations is pure gold. I, too, really believe that is the key when discussing this matter (and so many other matters as well). Great podcast – thank you for continuously bringing so much value to everyone who comes into contact with you and/or Prolific Living. xoxo!
Neda, thanks honey. I really appreciate the feedback. It’s hard not to fall into those broad generalizations, I know but it’s very helpful to enable us to see clearly when we stay away from it – plus, few can argue that something is wrong for you, vs. something is wrong in general.
Thank you and if you like things, feel free to share with your friends. Hope you are doing well!
Great topic, Farnoosh especially for people like me who live in India. This is a topic that even virtual strangers might venture to ask you questions about your choice. I face that all the time and sometimes it’s difficult not to get cross. However, I’ve learned to say that it is our choice and explain….but jaws continue to drop!
Dear Corinne, how nice to see you – I just visited your site and couldn’t help but read the entire blog post that was up. SO emotional, my goodness!!! What a great space of community and support you have built. Well-done! And well, thank you for this, I didn’t realize you lived in India. I am sure the culture is even more of a pressure in those parts of the world, as it was in Iran. Here’s to being strong when we see those jaws drop!
Whether you chooseto have children or not is entirely your choice. You are not answerable to anyone but yourself and God. So where you go from here is entirely up to you.
Juanita, I couldn’t have said it better. Thank you so much for your point!
Great technique! I really love to learn from the expert.. I will surely be here more often.. Keep up the excellent work!
Thank you Dhana.
I found this post via a twitter friend. I LOVE that you are conscious enough to think through the important decision of having children. Motherhood is a divine calling, and like you, if I am going to do something I am going to do it right
Sadly, many women do not put so much thought into it. My husband and I were married for over six years before co-creating our son, despite pressures from family and friends. And I know for a FACT that if I had had a baby even one or two years earlier it would not be the blissful, deeply fulfilling, cosmic experience that it is for me now. I had a lot of traveling, growing, and healing to do first. Oh, and I had to experience what it was like to have a successful online business. When I was truly ready I KNEW it! And yes, there are so many more ways we women can use our “motherly” energy/gifts than having a child. Some women, like yourself, feel called to “mother”/teach/nurture other people 
Stay true to yourself! You are beautiful! I am going to go check out your other baby post now!
Rose Goddess, thank you SO much for sharing your beautiful thoughts – you are a poet, you know that? I went over to your site and really enjoyed seeing all your recent posts & photos. It seems motherhood suits you beautifully. And I love that as a mother, you can still see and appreciate both sides and just how much time and consideration and thought you yourself have put into becoming a mother, with so much intention. I love it! Thank you for sharing this beautiful comment and for stopping by, loved having you and hope to see you more…..!