Welcome back to Episode #18 of The Daily Interaction podcast. Today’s topic is how to make awkward requests without making anyone – you or them – feel uncomfortable. It goes without saying that no one of us enjoy making those awkward requests and yet, we wish so badly that we could speak up. I have been there a lot – perhaps too many times – but recently, I have changed my ways with my new approach of making direct, professional and kind requests. Take a listen.
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Your Weekly Friday Show Notes:
1. The story of my massage, and how boldly I made a direct request and his shockingly surprisingly reaction.
2. How to response to those awkward requests when others ask to use your services for “free” or as a favor, and the story of how my coaching program got started.
3. Exactly how to phrase responses to your clients and why to price your services for exactly what you are worth and what this does to your business and brand.
4. The story of my yoga friend, how I used to perceive her services in the light of our friendship and vice versa, and the eye-opening experience in hindsight.
5. What to never ever do to someone who runs their own business and where and how to draw the line in the sand for your own business in the face of awkward requests.
6. Your greatest asset of all and how to protect it.
7. Thoughts on bartering and what things to be aware of, and how to best make an arrangement that works best for you and the other party.
8. Recommendations on exact phrases and verbiage that will help you to respond to these requests from extended family and why to never enter into business agreements that give you the awkward feeling.
9. Why I have chosen to give up everything for a while in order to build my business and the most important thing you must remember to do on top of setting things aside.
Your thoughts on the show:
If you have questions or suggestions on what topics you want to hear about in The Daily Interaction, leave a comment, give me a shout and I will incorporate them in the show. If you love the show, an iTunes rating would be so sweet!
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{ 19 brilliant comments, Care to add another? }
I loved this episode, It’s really related to my current situation. Particularly the part about working with family.
Right now, I just broke a business relationship with my brother. We realized that it’s impossible to work together and now we are drawing the line. It’s pointless to hurt a positive and good relationship just because there is a business in the middle.
I also love how you draw the line with the current priorities of your life. Right now, my blog and my freelance career is a priority so I try to dedicate as much time as possible trying to work on them, social life gets hurt, but I think it’s far more important to accept the fact that you are working towards something amazing, and it’s not easy to do that.
And lastly I totally agree with time being our most valuable asset. The way we spend time is a very important matter, particularly for those of us in the entrepreneur world. I think these thoughts about time can become a whole book or at least a good series of posts. Because it’s such an important topic but also a really misunderstood one.
Thanks again Farnoosh for this wonderful episode. I think it works well with my planned weekend.
Dear Alejandro, hi! Thank you so so much for sharing your situation and your thoughts. Doing business with family is not easy! Oh boy! Doing business with friends is not even easy. You have to take so many things into consideration so I am very proud of you for making a hard decision but probably the right one in breaking a contract with your brother. I do have to say there are exceptionally good benefits. For example, my brother works for me here for the blog and does all the backend work and boy, do we come close to killing each other at times but we also trust one another implicitly. You know? There are ups and downs to each relationship.
I think you are very well on your way to becoming a superstar entrepreneur, Alejandro, because you have your priorities straight. And request noted on the topic to write about. Talk to you very soon and thanks again for listening.
Farnoosh – thanks for taking on this difficult topic – bringing up awkward conversations. As you well know, there is a lot of cultural and family guilt when doing business with family in other cultures. Thanks for suggestions on taking on awkward conversations! I think the best tip was determining your values and priorities – and all your decisions after that will stem from that. That way you don’t have to make individual calls on each issue and won’t be as distracted as much! I’m going to implement that immediately.
Dear Vishnu, hello and how lovely to see you here again. Thank you for listening and boy do I ever know about cultural and family guilt! Be strong and don’t fall for it. Once you know your values and your priorities, you can start to honor them and doing the awkward stuff becomes less difficult, yes. Do keep me posted please and thank you for your kind and sweet support always!
Hi Farnoosh.
Another great podcast here. You really have developed solid perspectives on life and defending use of your time. I like listening to your podcast because it keeps me in line with what is appropriate.
People that deal with you should be glad they deal with someone who is direct and respectful.
Cool.
Hello and thank you dear Armen…. ! I hope that these perspectives continue to help and I am so glad that you seem to enjoy and benefit from them, Armen. I am definitely not shy about sharing my opinion and plenty more on the way in this space.
You’re on great form here Farnoosh – the sand in the line with priorities is as good as they come. The first awkward request or conversation is with ourselves and asking why we let ourselves drift off course or get easily persuaded away from our once held golden rules or aims. We have to take ourselves on before we can begin to tackle others! As the phrase goes, ‘Have a word with yourself’. Sounds like you’ve had a whole conversation – big bravo, because you’re reaping the rewards!!
Hi dear John, talking about sand reminds me of your great recent video right there by those cliffs and the water front in the UK.
So I didn’t think of it that way, even as I do so many of these conversations with the self. Thank you. Yes, I suppose I ran that dialogue in my head a number of times before taking it on the massage therapist and I may be doing it more than I care to admit. It works. That much I know. Thanks so much for these encouraging words, dear John!
I liked this advice. It is something we all have faced and most of us have a story or two of a time we handled it poorly. I see in my life, the stronger I am about my purpose the easier it is to handle those awkward request. My perspective seems to be more geared toward the overall picture. I am able to see how kindly turning down an innappropriate request supports my goal which will ultimately support the requester, especially if it’s family. It’s a matter of self respect and boundries. Thus handling the request is easier. Does that make sense?
Hi Stephen, how nice to see you here and so glad you enjoyed this. YES, the strong you are with that purpose, the easier all other things become because you know how much you value that purpose and how much it matters to you. And when we turn down those awkward requests, we ARE doing others a service rather than the disservice of what we don’t really want to do. It makes perfect sense and I am so happy to hear your thoughts – thank you for listening.
Hello Farnoosh, very good episode.
At first, I was thinking you need to charge money for something like this, then I was starting to disagree with you, then I ended with contemplation. I’ve always been more towards giving much of my time to others. Perhaps a change on my part would be a good thing.
Hi Steve, ummm. You mean charge for my podcasts? No, my podcasts are free but if you want private coaching and consulting, I definitely charge for those
! Glad to hear that you are enjoying the podcast and please do share it with others.
Requests are such a great way to deepen relationships. I think requests are one of the most important aspects of relationships. If you watch people, you might see that people define themselves on what they’re able to do by themselves. It’s a lot of ego. This separateness and these boundaries drop in the presence of a request, at least more than usual.
When we reach out to others we “get over” ourselves and at least for a moment get a glimpse that we really are sharing one world.
I love your awkward request. Farnoosh, I request that you write a comment on my blog.
Hi Josh, deepen a relationships. I like that. And I am glad you enjoyed my awkward requests here. I had a lot of fun with it. Thanks so much for stopping by and I will visit your blog too.
I am so, so proud of you for this! It takes a lot of guts to be honest and demand what you deserve and I am incrediably proud of you for doing so. If I ever have children, I am going to make them listen to these podcasts – no joke!
!
You shall make me very proud if you do that. Thank you my darling! I love the praise, especially coming from you!
Had to comment again! Just thought of a random question. What do you do in a situation where you ask a friend for a service and you do want to pay them for it but they won’t quote you a price. And after some back and forth where you make it clear that you would like to compensate them, they basically tell you that whatever would work (money-wise, etc) if I feel so strongly to do so. How do you reconcile this… is this a matter of judgement (i.e – what you feel is proper)? How would you know that you won’t offend them if, say, you get them a gift card and it’s for less than they might have expected or for more? Just go with judgement?
Great questions and not easy situations. You tell them that you respect their service and their rates and you expect to pay for a service or else do an even exchange where you offer something of value to them in return. And no, I would not let them let me decide what works. That never goes over well. And if they don’t feel comfortable accepting payment, you have to decide if you are comfortable using them. And just tell them. Say, you know I just don’t feel comfortable (this is a very useful phrase by the way) using your great services and not compensating you and I don’t feel comfortable deciding for myself what price to put on there, that’s for you to tell me please. And try NOT to use a lot of your friends for service especially for the wedding. It’s best to go with professional strangers. Just my advice. But in the end: GO WITH YOUR GUT FEEL, Negar, even if it disagrees with the whole world, darling!
consideration