Episode 75: 3 Surefire Ways Negative People Can Ruin Your Future


Welcome back to Episode #75 of The Daily Interaction podcast. We are going to talk about how you can deal with negative people in your life, be it anyone from your spouse to your best friend and colleague at work and why if you do not deal with these negative people, their presence and influence can ruin your future.

I am just back from New Media Expo conference in Las Vegas where I had the most amazing time meeting people that I already know. When you meet people you’ve known for months or years only during your online interactions, it’s always like meeting old friends for the first time, a feeling I can’t get tired of. And I recorded a few of the interviews over at the Podcast Pavilion there. The interview with Mark Pentleton, someone I had dreamt of meeting, Episode 74 was recorded live on the fun fabulous NMX show floor and the 2 future episodes are also from that event.

Today’s topic is a request from listener May-Ling who asked: How to deal with those Debby Downer Friends.

It’s a real struggle for me because I tend to just hit the road around negative people/complainers and I end up distancing myself and sometimes the friendship withers away. I feel they’re going to contaminate my thinking when I’m working so hard to be positive and peaceful. I try to be supportive, point out the blessings they have, offer suggestions that might help but when they can’t see beyond that I kinda want to run. I get it, I’ve been there and it truly sucks but when I’ve been there (while ago) I was mainly around people who just wanted to complain also and that got old. Never coming to solutions and assuming you’re just stuck….forever, just got old. And I know some relationships are only meant for a short term. Some friendships I let go of were not helping me grow and it’s ok that those ended. I sincerely wish them the absolute best and have positive feeling towards them. I guess I just was wondering if you had any similar experiences and any wisdom you can share in this issue.


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Show Notes for 3 Surefire Ways that Negative People Ruin Your Future

1. They make you believe you are a victim of circumstance.
Truth: You are a WINNER of circumstance. You can create your own reality with your thought and beliefs.

2. They make you feel guilty about being healthy, happy, prosperous or blessed in any other way.
Truth: Nobody in the world has the permission or the right to make you feel guilty. Unless you have done them harm or stolen their goods of course but you know what I mean!

3. They make you forget that life is full of opportunity and blessing.
Truth: We have a choice for everything. Their choice may be to live in misery. Yours can be different.

What to Do About the Negative People in Your Life

First, let’s clarify: We are not talking about friends in need in times of trouble. We are not talking about turning down someone who asks for help. Absolutely positively NOT!

We are talking about people who stop by your cubicle to take up your precious morning hour and energy by talking rubbish and complaining about the state of the world and economy and their marriage. NO MORE! Put a stop to it. If you don’t, it’s your fault.

Well, it depends how badly you want a brilliant bright future. Two huge mistakes I have made: I used to have a lot of compassion for people’s sob stories – who knows, maybe it made me feel better about my own life or I just felt drawn to people who were not happy. Yes, me! Imagine that. And I did not understand the power of positive thinking and positive believing. I had no clue.

If you are vigilant about claiming your highest potential and reaching your best in life, you cannot allow these people in your mind. The only way to get them out is by eliminating them from your life. Recently I had to make a very difficult choice about a close member of my own family. It was brutal but over the years, I have noticed how much this person has affected my mind. This is not about love. Sure, you can love them but it does not entitle them to complain and fuss to you.

Cut out every negative person out of your life. PERIOD. Every minute and every hour you spend with them, you are taking away from your own brilliant potential and you are ALLOWING them to steal away your future!

Selfish? First of all, you are being self-nurturing, not selfish. Second, are they not being selfish wasting not just their potential and opportunity in life but also wasting your time. Is that not the most selfish act on earth? Don’t talk to me about selfish. You have an OBLIGATION to use your potential in life to the best and if you don’t, you have nobody to blame so make the right choices and surround yourself with the right people. There’s billions of people in the world and thanks to the INTERNET, God bless the Internet angels who timed this so well with our own lifetime, you can choose who you surround yourself with. You are not stuck to the town or city or family you are born into.

Two words on how to break away: Gently but firmly.

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This podcast is part of Prolific Living Media and it is produced weekly and released every Friday. For questions and comments, please email the podcast: tdi@prolificliving.com.

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  • http://www.andreamlewis.com Andrea Lewis

    Farnoosh, I never thought I’d encounter someone else who is as passionate about severing ties with negative people. I learned this the hard way as well and eventually realized that I must be vigilant ALL of the time. I’m the creator of the life I wish to live and it really doesn’t include negative people. I used to be a victim of my circumstances. Now, I know better, so I do better. Thanks for sharing your insights. I look forwarding to more podcasts.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi dear Andrea, years of letting people walk all over my mind with their dirty “shoes” – as Gandhi likes to refer to dirty thoughts – was ENOUGH. I am vigilant about it now, brutal even. I don’t allow those people in my life precisely because I’ve allowed them before and did not know any better. I am so happy that you have come to the same beautiful conclusion. May you live in positivity the rest of your days! So glad you enjoyed the podcast too, Andrea.

  • http://www.midwaymarketplace.com Maxwell Ivey

    Hi Farnoosh; thanks to you for such a great show on a critical top and thanks to the listener for sending in that question. The farther i go in my journey, the more I’m convinced about the power of words and thoughts both positive and negative. If you read books by preachers, business people, and others considered successful in their lives; they all agree on the power of positive thinking and if positivity is so critical than avoiding the negative is just as important. You have to weed out the negative people in your life whether they be coworkers, friends, neighbors, or even family. And I agree with you Farnoosh that it isn’t selfish and people shouldn’t feel guilty. We all deserve to be happy, healthy, and successful; and to that end we can’t accomplish these goals with the doom and gloomers in our lives. And sometimes its not just people. Don’t hesitate to turn off the news channel, talk radio, or unsubscribe from news feeds if their solely reporting on negative stories and issues or relaying them in a negative antagonising way. Farnoosh you did good by having such a strong opinion. some things require it. take care, max

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Max, dear wonderful Max, this might be my most favorite comment from you!! Thank you so much. You are really inspiring me with your clarity on positive/negative thinking and what needs to be done to get to your goals. And I love your attitude about it too. Don’t change a thing and thank you for the validation on my, ahem, slightly strong opinion :)! There’s no shortage of those, so I’ll sprinkle a few more as the topics permit.
      I hope you have been well and thanks so much for continuing to listen. It delights me. Sending you lots of good wishes for the new year…..

      • http://www.midwaymarketplace.com Maxwell Ivey

        Hi Farnoosh; Thanks for the kind words. I just try to say what is in my heart and mind. And its the truth if there is one thing people can change today, tomorrow, next week, next mont, for the rest of their life to be successful is to get in a positive mindset and stay there. As I have been going through the process of losing weight via gastric surgery I have been reading more for inspiration and self improvement than entertainment and escapism; and so many authors agree on positive thoughts, words, and images that it can’t be wrong. Don’t ask me to quote scripture, but there are even biblical references about avoiding negativity. thanks for the encouragement in the new year, and i wish you a healthy, happy, and prosperous 2013 as well. I am healthier 360 pounds instead of 512 blood pressure meds cut to almost nothing, taking more vitamins and supllements than prescriptions, spiritually in a good place, financial better than years if not as good as I know it can be, and while no serious girlfriend at least happy where i am being single right now. Thanks so much for the great audio on negativity. when you need to be forceful like this, I’m sure you will know it and continue to bring your listeners the message they need to hear. Take care sweet Farnoosh, Max

  • Jo Warwick

    I loved seeing this. I published a post on dumb little man about this and I called the emotional vampires. To me it has always seemed that they just leech and suck out the light and energy from me if I let them, but also being around them is like running into a brick wall over and over – it hurts and it used to leave me feeling confused. I have learnt that if you give your energy to these people they become like Golum and hold onto and store everything they can get never giving anything back because there is a hole inside of them that has not yet been filled and so they always end up empty. However to deal with them as you say is to walk away but the world is very full of negative needy people because of fear . I truly believe the best way to help and make a loving change is to love yourself fully, allow yourself to be filled with love from the planet and then shine brightly at the negativity. The light not only become a guiding light to inspire others, but a shield to protect yourself strength through love not fear. The less energy we give to feed negative people the more they will have to look at themselves at some point…keep shining! 😉

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Jo, I just love that you brought Golum into all of this – I finished reading The Lord of the Rings a month ago and I Love the story!
      Yes to everything you said, and you just explained it so beautifully and yet with so much compassion … it’s true that if we shield ourselves up with fear, then it’s no good at all either. Thanks Jo, keep shining yourself and thanks for a powerful comment! To positivity :)

    • Melly Deen

      Jo, I know how you feel …. and it’s so big of you to say that we need to become the guiding light – it’s so very hard to do but I am going to try more with this new inspiration.

  • Jo Warwick

    Melly, I agree it’s not easy, but Ive found that by seeing myself from a loving position and that the most loving expression I can do for myself and other people is to be loving self, I can let go or at least laugh at the anger and fear that wants to join in with other people’s negativity and create drama .. And see it purely for what it is a block which is stoping the energy shining and glowing freely .. It then takes so little from me but instead allows me to be free and shiny 😉 x

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Jo, not easy to do but so very healing and empowering for us in the end. Thanks for sharing! I’m up for the challenge too.

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/sholaabidoye/ Shola Abidoye

    I’m officially impressed – and inspired! I would like to invite you to Dan an Ian’s private biz owners’ mastermind (LBP Podcast). It’s by referral only. Thanks and take care.

    • http://www.prolificliving.com/blog Farnoosh

      Hi @Shola_A:disqus, I am a big fan of LBP and love to consider this invite. Thank you and can you tell me more about it please? Feel free to contact me via email: farnoosh[a]prolificliving.com thanks.