12 Reasons to Keep Going When You Feel Scared and Insecure

Which Life Are You Living?

You either do what you want┬áin life and deal with all the stuff that gets in your way. Or you live with a regret in your heart. I want to highly encourage you to go for the first one. That’s the right track!

See. There are two lives you could live.

keep-going

One is the life of doing what you are already doing, what you have been told and taught to do, and also dreading it, wanting to escape it and wondering if there is more (there is) to your life and your purpose.

You feel almost nothing as you go through your normal routines except perhaps boredom, fatigue, mild resentment and a little growing sarcasm about life in general.

And then there is the life of going for what you want, all else be damned.

Deep down, maybe you weren’t meant to be an employee (first you need to exit that job) – maybe you were meant to be a writer, or a lifeguard, or a quiet encourager for a youth group, or on a mission to save Mountain Gorillas from going into extinction.

Deep down, you have a beautiful purpose – that’s a fact – and one day, you stand up and decide to honor the darn thing, come what may.

And guess what? You then open yourself to a whole new world you never knew before.

You experience emotions you didn’t even know you had. Terror. Exhilaration. Grappling with uncertainty. Insecurity. Questioning your self-worth and self-confidence. And most of all, entertaining the thoughts of doubt and fear.

I know. I’ve felt them all and I still feel them frequently. The emotions do not go away – how I wish. What happens is you become stronger and readier to handle them. They are still there but they lose their hold over you. Ha! You win!

And just in case you are feeling scared and insecure right now, I wanted to remind you the things you already know but may need to hear again.

12 Reasons to Keep Going When You Feel Scared and Insecure

1. You’re on the right track:

When you are scared, it’s a sign you are doing the right thing by being outside your comfort zone. Of course that scares you! You and everyone else, darling. But it also means you are on the right track, you are meant to go down this road, even if you arrived here after a lot of wrong turns.

2. You’re going to regret it if you quit:

If you’ve never regretted something, it’s like the bitter taste of ash in your mouth, and a sulky heavy feeling in your heart. Both come with no cure. Best to avoid that whole mess and not discover at the end of your life that you didn’t really live and fulfill these desires for a little fear and insecurity. Right? Don’t give your power away to regret.

3. You’ll never find a better time than right now:

This now, this present moment is all you can be certain that you have. Our tomorrows are a promise, not a fact. You hope to live a long life, so do I, sure, but the truth is there’s no better time than right now to do what you want to do. Delay at your own risk!

4. You know deep down this is what you want:

If you are scared while doing someone else’s bidding, quit by all means! But if you are pursuing what you want, deep down, then keep going because you deserve to give yourself your all. And I’ll tell you a secret, doing what you and you alone want is a sweet path to instant happiness.

5. Your inner voice will nag you indefinitely if you quit:

So get this, if you quit, you may not be scared or insecure but you won’t have true peace. Your inner voice will nag you and whisper long sad what-if questions in your ear and fill your heart with sorrow. Lift that heart by putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how scared or insecure you feel. You’ll be fine.

6. You are about to change your life:

Even though I don’t know exactly what you are going through, whatever it is, when you push past fear and insecurities, and find your inner strength, you transform. You emerge as a new person, better, stronger, and happier too. This is life-changing.

7. You are discovering too much about yourself to give up:

The journey to happiness and inner peace, Rumi tells us, happens by going inward. And whenever something scares you and makes you question your self-worth, it’s an opportunity to learn and to grow. You learn so much about yourself.

8. You learn about vulnerability and courage:

And that’s a good thing. A lot of people live long but boring lives, and they never once come face to face with the gift of vulnerability and the act of courage. When you are scared, you will be able to shine a light here and look in the mirror and say, “I am vulnerable but I have courage too.”

9. You have supporters that you don’t know about:

So your family doesn’t get it? Your best friend doesn’t support you? You feel alone? Then go out there and find the people who get it – I bet you anything you haven’t met them yet! Tell me your story in the comments, let me be the first one to support you. Find other freedom seekers and ask them what they think of your choices. Get the support you need. Then keep going!

10. You are too close to success to give up:

The real fear and insecurity settle when you are onto something big. You are in all likelihood too close to success, and to a breakthrough. Do you really want to give up right before that? Is that not, like, painful and disturbing? Keep going darling!

11. You will miss out on all the sweet rewards:

There are rewards sweeter than you can imagine when you fulfill the desires of your heart. If you’ve never done it, then there’s no feeling like it. Kinda like parenthood – you either get it by going through experience or you just can’t relate. So yeah, the choice is yours but I say keep going.

12. You forget that you can do this – Yes You Can!

You forget the basic rule that any human heart can achieve anything as long as it goes after it with heart and soul and a tenacity to not give up. You forget you can do this thing. It’s hard. It’s ugly. It’s scary, maybe even terrifying. But deep down, if this is what you want, you can have it honey. You really can.

One More Thing You Can Do to Be Less Scared

Hop on my FREE 21-Step Confidence Building program and don’t let stuff like fears and insecurity get in your way. You are meant for big bright things, and you have everything you need inside you to make it happen.

Get Confident in 21 Easy Steps


PS: If you are on a mobile device, grab the confidence program here.

PPS: I fully endorse the Meditation Tracks which I mention here in this post as a proud affiliate.

  • Joe

    I agree with everything you say in motivation. But there are times when we need to stop. sometimes when running up a hill – the same hill I have climbed often before – my body screams for me to stop. I have found that it is necessary to rationalise why I must stop this time. Tiredness, nourishment or injury. Once I have my mind right, the hill will not pose a challenge next time. Otherwise it would be. Life can be like this too.
    But I have found in business that it is sometimes right not to try too hard for something. I believe that if it is right, it will happen. and therefore it is right to stop.
    Most often the greatest buzz is to be singleminded and push for achievement. There is no greater feeling. your body and mind will somehow tell you what is right. Just listen. Confusing?!!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Yes Joe, you are right – sometimes you need to stop and not run up a hill or push hard in business. That’s why common sense is key in making all these decisions. Thanks for sharing your insights.

  • http://www.khaledallen.com/warriorspirit Khaled

    I’m at a big transition in my life right now, so this was encouraging. I had forgotten that as you get closer to overcoming the obstacle, the insecurity actually increases, so it’s not so much that I’m seeing the real problems with the decision as a natural response to progress.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Glad to hear it Khaled. The insecurity is there because you are making that big transition … I wish you the best.

  • Marja-Leena

    This article is awesome. It’s so true. All around me I see people in my life who aren’t going after their real passions. It’s disheartening to see. I’m 19 and a lot of my friends are pursuing careers based on salary rather than true passion. I’m the opposite, so I’m perceived by family as lacking realism or perspective. My family tells me I need to think more realistically. I’m working part time, going to school and writing a novel. I have moments of utter clarity where I have absolutely zero doubt in my mind that I’ll succeed and my book will be published in the near future. And then, like this article, I have moments where I am so filled with doubt and anxiety and fear of failure that I want to quit everything. But I really believe we all have something we’re born to do. It takes some people a long time to find it, and some people never give themselves a chance to discover it. I feel fortunate to know my passion already.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Marja-Leena, I hear you. Your family tells you only what they know – as did mine- but I’m proud of you for listening to your heart at the same time, something I didn’t do at all – We DO have something we are born to do and the fear is normal. I think you are very lucky to know what you want to do at such a young age. Enjoy the bliss of self-discovery! And thanks for stopping by.

      • Kelly

        Hi Marja-Leena,

        I’ll be forty next year and am just now realizing that, despite having a wonderful career and two beautiful children, I’m very lonely and not feeling fulfilled or connected. I’ve spent my life trying to be who I thought I should be and trying to please everyone in my life. It’s to the point where I don’t know my true self or my true desires anymore. I’m starting to reconnect and figure out what I want but I’m so afraid of the people who will be hurt if I go for it that I’m frozen.

        I applaud you for knowing at such a young age what you want and going for it. I don’t regret anything because any small change to my past and I wouldn’t have the career and the children I have. I am grateful for many things in my life and know I’ve been blessed in many ways… which only makes me feel like I’m being ungrateful for wanting more.

        Stay true to yourself. Keep believing in yourself. Even through set-backs, keep sight of the light inside of you and you will be OK. I wish you all the best on your journey.

        Kelly

        • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

          Hi Kelly, what an inspiring message. 40 or 18, it doesn’t matter. Once you realize that self-sacrifice and giving up what you want is not the path to happiness, then you can begin again! :) Beautifully said, Kelly. Thanks for sharing your insights.

  • http://thefitspirit.com Jess

    This is such an awesome post. A few years ago I made a huge change and I wish I could have had this post to look at along the way!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi dear Jess, I wish I could’ve seen a lot of stuff years ago too but we see things when the time is right I guess. Congrats on your huge change and much succes to you.

  • Dave

    What timing! I am struggling to over come doubts and feeling very unsure in a new project in my life. I don’t usually feel insecure about facing difficult tasks so it makes it twice as hard now that I am. This post – from top to bottom – is just what I needed to reset my thinking. Thank you Farnoosh.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Dave, I am so glad this got to you in the right timing. That makes it so worthwhile for me (these things take time to write ;)) and you are learning so much about yourself in the process, no? You will be just fine but I am so glad this gave you a boost. Come back anytime and wish you much much success in the new endeavors, Dave.

  • Melly Deen

    You are on the RIGHT track if you feel scared – yes! That’s a great way to look at it, especially when you get terrified Farnoosh. I’ve made one big change in a relationship and it’s been terrifying to be alone again but somewhere inside me, I just know it’s the right move….. so I’ll keep going in this direction.
    PS: Loving your confidence course!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Melly darling, you know, even terrified can be a good sign if deep down, that’s the direction where you want to go ….

  • Kelly

    Dear Farnoosh,

    I have an amazing career at a school I love. I have two beautiful little boys. So why do I feel so lonely and lost? God has granted me so many gifts, I feel I’m being ungrateful to want more. I have moments of clarity when I know what I want and I believe and trust in that desire, instead of questioning myself (Is this what I really want or is it all in my mind? Is it the “grass is greener” syndrome?)

    But I also have so many moments when I feel I’m adrift on a raft at sea with no rope and no way home. I’m starting to see that fear and insecurity are not the horrible scary things I always thought they were, and am letting myself drift into those times with an open mind, trying to use them as moments to see into my heart. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding the difficult emotions and shutting anyone out who tried to get close. I’m trying to embrace those emotions now, to “lean into the discomfort”, because I feel like it’s my only way back to myself.

    I’ve talked to my Mom and she tries to understand but she lives so far away. I tried to talk to my husband but it’s so hard because he’s smart and he can see that my journey down this road is taking me away from him and he’s fighting that by trying to rationalize the way I feel. And so few understand this path to freedom, which I so yearn for. The freedom to just be myself, without worrying what others think of me. To be myself and to know myself.

    Thanks for your loving support, you’ve become a friend on the raft. Your advice brings me light and courage just when I need them most.

    Kelly

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Kelly, your journey won’t take you AWAY from others. It will bring you to YOURSELF. that’s all. Are there things that you want to do that make you give a big resounding shout of YES – start with one. Maybe take a class? Go on a walk or to the movies alone? Go on a trip with a friend? I don’t know. But it takes a lot to know ourselves, and I wanted to share this old post that might really help you on this journey: Getting to know yourself. Thanks for being here and glad to be a friend.

  • http://www.gettingcomfy.com Barbara

    Hi

    I find being truly vulnerable the most frightening thing, we often have so many protection mechanisms in place. You are spot on putting yourself, your ideas or your dreams out there takes a lot of courage.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Barbara, it’s not easy to be vulnerable – we are wide open to attack of all kinds but we are also open to such amazing love and light and freedom that I would take all the attacks (few as they are …. we exaggerate the bad unnecessarily ;))! Thanks for stopping by and sending you lots of courage!

  • http://www.siviking.com Ragnar

    I feel like you come to a crossroads in life whenever you’re about to choose whether to follow through with something or not. The problem is that it’s not always easy to see what would be the right decision. Like for example if you want to lose weight, or become more confident. That’s an easy call.

    But let’s say you are equally passionate about painting and teaching. You chose teaching because it seemed safer, but you regret not being braver. Or you chose painting, and you end up broke 6 years later with no marketable skills, looking back you regret not playing it safe.

    Regardless, I think the greater lesson to be learned is to be confident in the choices you make, and even if you fail, interpret as a learning experience and take it in stride. So yes, definitely don’t give in to the fear. The minute you let the fear stop you, is the minute your life slows down to a fracture of what it could have been.

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Ragnar, I think you answered all your questions better than I ever could. My only question is why choose between painting and teaching and why not do both? People manage to bring multiple passions to life and I have done the same because giving one up over the other just didn’t seem right ….. and I agree with all you said. Thanks for sharing your insights.

      • http://www.siviking.com Ragnar

        Haha, it kind of started as a question, and before I knew it I had reasoned it out on my own… I’m not sure whether I should consider that a good or bad habit.

        But yes that is definitely a great point. And fear is likely what is stopping one from trying both. With focus and some effectiveness it could be done. All of a sudden I have a few things to think about… thanks!

        • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

          I do that all the time, answer my own questions, Ragnar (what a great name, by the way, I’m reading Game of Thrones and you could totally be a knight or warrior in there with that name ;)).

  • Sarah

    I am going into hospital for treatment of an eating disorder on Wednesday and I have never been more scared of anything in my life. I’ve been stuck for 10 years and really want to change things. I desperately want a family and need to be healthy to achieve this. The fear of failing and even what will happen if i succeed is almost making me want to back out but if i turn my back on this opportunity i don’t want to live the next 10 years in the same position. This post really helped me and I have book marked it to look at whenever i feel like giving up. Thank you

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Oh Sarah, I am sending you lots of love and prayers, and I really want you to know you are so strong and so powerful inside, you have everything you need to go through this. You really do. I am sending you a big hug, and if you want me to write about anything else, I’ll gladly dedicate a post to you (as long as I feel I can write intelligently about the topic ;)) so big hugs and you are most welcome.

  • http://infinitetransition.wordpress.com Timothy Gay

    I’ve always enjoyed reading your blog and this spoke so much to me especially since I’ve been 6.5 weeks removed from my last job. You know the transition isn’t always going to be easy but you do it anyway because you know it’s rewarding. The gift is having that space to create what you want. I’m in the process of creating that now and I’m excited to be doing it, even though I run into that doubt from time to time. One thing that helps me is meeting those people who do understand what you’re doing and striving for. It happened to me yesterday and I believe I manifested that in my life. It was very much needed.

    I would love to post this on my blog, especially following the most recent post I had (have you read it yet? I still would love your feedback). Let me know if I could have you guest post this on my blog. Thanks!

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Timothy, my friend, I emailed you too – congratulations on leaving your last job and nothing easy about this stuff no but it’s much better than being stuck where we don’t belong. And yes Timothy, surround yourself with people that are going to support you and lift you up my friend.

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  • grahame

    Hi Farnoosh
    I found your site via an email that Leslie Samuel sent me and perhaps it’s come at the right time as right now I am Scared and Insecure as well as feeling so alone. My friends and family don’t support me since I lost my business and home in 2008. They keep telling me that angels are looking after me but that doesn’t seem to help much. I started a website on travel after the loss of my business but still struggle to make the kind of income I need to carry on with what I really want to do and that is to write. My difficulty is that I don’t have enough knowledge on how the whole web thing works to make it count. I don’t want to give up but sometimes I find it so frustrating and without much money and resources, I don’t know which way to turn. I just had to talk to someone and you offered me some hope
    Grahame

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Hi Grahame, thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. I know exactly what you mean in not having the knowledge and know-how. I studies and invested in myself for a long time – the beginning can be overwhelming. I would say if you have lots of time and energy, to go with self-study if you don’t want to invest in learning from someone else but if you want to invest and save time and energy, then that’s my biggest recommendation. It pays off. Check out my course – I just opened it again and we’ll cover the knowledge you need to get going, Grahame: Smart Exit Blueprint. I hope this helps.

  • Franz

    Great Article, Well my story begins when i was fourteen i dropped out of school, started to work as a semi-skilled artisan. i was told that south africa’s education is not worth the twelve years it took to complete matric. i was seventeen when i met my first love, we were together for 4 years had a child (baby girl). as i progressed in the company i was working for i was told by the CEO i will never get into a management role because of my lack of education and knowledge. BTW i have an IQ of 164. i Started educating myself on Health and Safety, I did about 60 courses on the topic and gathered NQF credits, i applied for a scholarship at a University in South Africa, got my Bachelors degree and i am now busy with my MBA and a PhD will definitely follow. i wish i had found your website earlier, thank you so much. sincerely Franz

    • http://www.ProlificLiving.com Farnoosh

      Wow what a great story, Franz. Thank you for sharing and I am so glad you didn’t listen to the naysayers along the way on your wonderful journey. That’s a great story and full of amazing accomplishments. Come back anytime. Happy to see you here.