Blogging sounds like such a good idea in theory, as do many things, such as having children, doing a daily meditation and starting a business venture. And yet as a full-time blogger, I sometimes hardly have the time to do the thing that I gave up my corporate job for: Blogging!
My younger brother (also my IT support and my real boss on certain occasions) snapped at me once because this trend has disturbed him: Bloggers get too busy to blog. Professors get too busy to teach and writers too busy to, well, write! We forget to do the main thing we are supposed to do because we are so wrapped up in all the other “stuff” surrounding our thing!
The problem is not with you though. It’s with reality!
Reality pulls you out of that dreamy wishful thinking state, slaps you a few times and waits patiently until you gather strength to stand up again before giving you another big blow. The mad cycle continues despite your greatest attempts to escape it. This, my darlings, is called life!
Welcome to the not-so-funny side of things where it all happens once you come in and start playing in the game!
Seriously, how many times can you set good intentions and pulled yourself together after things fall apart before you scream that you are quitting?
How much strength of character do you have to prove to the powers that be that decide the outcome of your decisions before getting your big break?
How much patience and perseverance is enough to prove our fabulous worth and how much of this cycle is meant to weed out not the lazy among us but sometimes, the very best?
Some days, it all gets so exhausting. And just for clarity sake, I am not complaining. That would mean I am looking for pity and sympathy. But trust me, I want neither. I am just in the mood to express loud and clear how it feels at times to be a full-time self-employed diva, and while you’d be out of your mind to even try and talk me out of doing my thing, I admit that it is so much harder than I imagined it to be.
“The best-laid plans of mice and men go awry”, my father-in-law repeated during our weekend get-together and I love that phrase, even it focuses on the negative.
The best-laid plans do go awry. The best of your talents that you put forth with much heart and soul can still fall flat. The most genius side of you can be poorly received or completely ignored. The hardest project of your life can go unnoticed and leave you shaking with madness because no one can really see your true gift.
And yet, you watch as the mediocre minds rise to stardom and fame and fortune, and as the barely educated business man turns a million or a billion dollars in profit, and as the silliest ideas take off and the least qualified ones in the crowd stand out and stand tall.
How does this happen? Why do some people end up being so massively successful with so little on their side? Proof has shown me that it is sometimes neither talent, nor passion and God knows it is not education or family or genes. Something else sets us apart from the few who turn those corners and rise to staggering heights.
Some times, motivation can be so hard to come by, and even as the author of a motivation book, I too lose motivation and desire to keep going from time and time and I suppose today is one of those days. It happens to everyone. Every single one of us.
But I never ever stay there long and today is no exception at all.
Just like a good argument, you want to have it, sulk over it a little and then move on quickly and just to be a good sport, I am done having this argument with myself today. I think. Am I really done ?It feels good to be lazy and wallow in self-pity a little longer but it inevitably leads to regrets and those things taste bitter, plus I can’t ever again get my two hours back!
So time to shake off the lows, and time to restore faith and confidence in the path that you have chosen.
Time to remember that all your missteps now are just setting you up for success.
Time to stop the comparison game and remember that not only is no one like you but that you can do things even better than the best of them. Yeah, take that and run with it!
Time to move on even from your greatest project, believing that it has somehow brought you to this particular point and that is a critical part of your journey.
Time to listen to the signs and exit the job that makes you miserable, even if you gave it half your life and all your devotion.
Time to trust your intuition and shut off your negative brain once and for all.
Time to bet on yourself, big, huge, gigantic bet on your genius and abilities to change the world for the better because nothing is going to stop you, no force is going to hold you down or get in your way and make you lose your inner motivation again.
That and a smart strategy to move forward with your business. If something doesn’t work, change it. If something doesn’t sell, stop selling it or learn how to re-position it. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Most of all, if you have lost an ounce of passion or conviction for what you are doing, then stop, re-evaluate and create an exit strategy out of the wrong place and into your true path.
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As for me, no end in sight for blogging, that’s for sure, but a yoga session will do wonders to ground me right about now. What about you? How will you keep fighting those setbacks? Tell me in the comments below!
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{ 25 brilliant comments, Care to add another? }
I think partly what helps is expecting the unexpected. In fact, I think expecting setbacks helps deal with them.
As a project leader, I have to identify the risks and I need to anticipate how things will go … for myself, the team, the project, etc. Setbacks happen all the time. The key is to have a mitigation. With all the things that don’t go as planned, I get plenty of opportunities for “leadership moments” and “learning opportunities.”
Another key way to deal with setbacks is to reframe them mentally. They are a chance to grow and a chance to “respond” vs. “react.”
The part that always keeps me moving forward though is holding a vision in my mind of the future state. This helps inspire me and the team toward compelling goals. It’s all about finding our “Why.”
J.D., I am very impressed by the wisdom in your words here. It’s all very true, and I try to remind myself of the same thing but at the time that the setbacks hit us, it is hardest to remember these moments. I think my favorite part is that you hold a vision of the future state in your mind. That is very helpful. Thank so much for sharing!!
This was a nice booster for my mid-week! I recently walked away from my full time job in order to write full time. I’m on the verge of self-publishing my first novel and I also blog. There are so many unfamiliar task coming at me all at once that I have found myself becoming overwhelmed and slowly shutting down. This was a nice shot in the arm! Thanks for that;)
Leah,
So so nice to hear it. And I hope your self-publishing goes very smoothly. My husband has started doing self-publishing services mainly targeted toward Kindle store and if we can be of any help to you, let us know. There is so much to figure out but if you surround yourself with the people that can support you and lift you up, you shall be stellar. Have a grand time writing that novel and come back please! Cheers….
Farnoosh – I appreciate how real this post is. I too struggle with myself sometimes to stay motivated and focused. Sometimes I believe the fact that we’re in the business of inspiration and personal development acts as a catalyst to push us out of any lethargy and slump. How can we write with authenticity something that we’re not living out?
I have decided to opt out of the comparison game and be the best I can be – and enjoy it to the maximum. I’m hoping to create more, to write more and to collaborate more.
Thank you for the inspiration – as always! ♥
Dear Corinne, so so nice to see you here and I have no idea what possessed me to write this – it was surely not on the very loose “editorial calendar”, that’s for sure!
And I love how you put the irony of us being in the “business of inspiration” and well, we certainly have to live up to our word. I tell myself that all the time, Corinne. Stay motivated and keep that beautiful energy strong. Thanks so much for stopping by and making my day!
Thank you Farnoosh. Actually, the novel is complete and ready. I’m publishing on Amazon first. It’s all those new little steps that throw me off track… fear of the unknown and of making an error. I appreciate your offer of services and will definitely keep that in mind.
Thank you!
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! How exciting. Second, please feel free to not just share it here but also go to my webpage that is dedicated for self-promotion of my readers and write it up there: Promote Yourself. And you’ve worked this hard to not let fear hold you back. The rest is the fun of selling this brilliant work. Plus, I might read it so tell us what you wrote.
)
If you know others who need help, please let them know about my very shy husband who is brilliant at this so I promote him on his behalf and against his wishes too
Farnoosh, thank you so much for this article. I came across it after a particularly bad day yesterday. And yes, it is tempting to wallow around in the self pity a bit but a great reminder for me to get on and do the things that really matter.
Dear Claire, no need to thank me and you’re welcome all the same. I needed it yesterday too and I am so happy that it has now served more than just a reminder to myself!! Yes, no more pity party for either of us. Time to keep pushing and keep shining. Come back anytime!! Thanks for your comment.
I use two main ways to get over setbacks. One is to look at them as learning experiences. Even more powerful for me, is to treat them as experiences that will pass. In fact, they have arisen to pass. If I know this, then there’s no need to worry, because it’s going to go away soon.
Hiten, hi! Thanks so much for stopping over …. AND giving us tips that I can surely use. “they have arisen to pass” – that’s poetry to my ears. I am going to tell myself that next time. Thank you so so much! And here’s to remembering these things when we need them!
You’re welcome Farnoosh!
Yes here’s to remembering such things when we need them the most.
Have a great weekend!
This was exactly what I needed to hear today, Farnoosh. I hear you loud and clear. It is not easy to be self-employed. I am having one of those days where I doubt myself, but you are right, it is always best to simply snap out of it (easier said than done though) and move on.
What helps me fight setbacks is talking to my husband, sister or a dear friend and simply doing some brainstorming. Creating strategies and forming new ideas always helps to get over a misstep.
Family support rocks. I don’t think I could do this without my husband or brother so I know just how much your support means to you, Anne-Sophie. Doubting ourselves is normal but letting the doubt win, that’s where we have to pull out the stops! You are doing wonderful things, even if you wanted to quit, I’d never let ya
!!
Thank you for stopping by here!
You’re sweet, Farnoosh! Letting the doubt win is something that does not exist in my world anymore. I have done that for way too long.
When you say that you see other people, who are not as intelligent or talented as you thrive, I can relate to that too. However, I think that persistence is one of those characteristics that successful people all have.
We may not be able to force fate, but we can stay persistent.
You and me both! Enough with the doubts. Worse case scenario that can come out of this is far better than any other alternatives in my book. I know you agree with that one too. Here’s to persistence and to success!!!
Cheers to that!
Farnoosh,
I was actually writing a post about a very simliar idea this morning. In the past few months I’ve had some moments of frustration, but then I thought back to 2009 when things were really rough. Right after that came one of the best periods of my entire life. When I thought about that i realized that what’s coming next is going to be even more amazing than it’s ever been. That was all I needed to keep going.
I love the way you look at your current situation.
Srini, love the blog post anyway! I know you’ve had some challenges since we met in 2010 and have been so forthcoming about them. Here’s to many more amazing moments in 2012. And a solid business in the making to boot!
thanks so much for the free motivation book Farnoosh! Just got it in time
i’m seeing a lot more bloggers do this lately.. nice strategy.
i often get confused though with what it is i really want. i have a day job *again* and i swear i never actively try to find these things.. instead i actively try to avoid! but this is the 2nd time i unexpectedly found myself in a job and maybe the universe is giving me a sign. i need/want some corporate cred before i go full time with my business. and i’ll certainly moonlight along the way!
Janet, you lean mean green machine
! – Just kidding! I love the title of that post. You are *VERY* welcome. You know, funny story about that book – when my dad read it, he was pleased but when my mom read it, she asked me where she was in the whole book! You can’t ever win with parents 
!
Oh I hear you on the job situation – and I really believe that’s a good strategy if you are trying to get some income to ramp up and to give you freedom to start your business – just make sure you keep your business / your side-hustle going strong! All the best and come back anytime!
A timely article about setbacks and changes to the plan.
I am fond of recalling this quote, “Life is what happens while you are busy making plans.” I am also fond of this quote by Alexis de Tocqueville, “Consider any individual at any period of his life, and you will always find him preoccupied with fresh plans to increase his comfort.”
There is something comfortable about having a plan and everything goes according to that plan. It reflects our fears of the unknown or being put in uncomfortable positions where we don’t know the answer or maybe faced with making tough decisions without a lot of time or information.
I like JD’s points about projects and plans. It is more important to have a vision of what the endgame will look like. I have laid many plan out for IT migrations, and yet I could not anticipate every gotcha or potential issue due to the complexity of technology. I have had to make many changes on the fly and not let anything go to waste or let on to the client that something has gone awry.
How much more so with life?
One of my appreciations of System (Russian Martial Arts) is the lack of planning and technique. The system is more concerned with training the mind and body for acceptance and adaptation which leads to a very fluid and capable fighting system.
I see the same is needed in living life and making plans. You have to accept that things will change and will lack the perceived perfection reflected in planning. When you accept that, then you are in a place to adapt to changes in the plan. Acceptance and adaption require a change in perception.
Keep at it Farnoosh!
Chris, I love the point about Russian Martial Arts – that’s really the smarter approach. Planning sometimes makes us think that we have more control than we actually do, and we really would gain so much more by being flexible in the face of change and fluid, as your system teaches you, and as I would someday LOVE to learn when I explore the world of Martial Arts
!
With your skills at projects and plans, I have no doubt that any other business venture you touch will turn into something amazing. I can’t wait to see what you come up with, Chris. Lovely having you back in the conversation here.
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