Welcome back to Episode #3 of the Smart, Opinionated and Fabulous podcast. In this episode, we talk about the difference between love and understanding. Yes, they are different and one does not come with the promise of the other.
Our need to be heard and understood is a natural human desire, but when it goes awry, it can become the source a frustration that can break or destroy a relationship.
Why is this desire to be heard and understood so strong? Would understanding get a higher score on the importance scale if measured against love? Any of us would probably rather run and hide than work through these issues with our family and friends and loved ones but this is really important (well, so is the holiday but both need to be addressed, right? 
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We explore these questions with you today and share some of our own stories. We hope to give you new perspectives that will open your mind and heart when others are seeking your understanding and likewise, when you are seeking understanding from others.
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Your Every Other Wednesday Show Notes:
1. How the goal of being understood sets you up for massive frustration and can injure the relationships you care about the most, and what to do about it.
2. How and why the lack of understanding can feel like a lack of love, and how you can change this.
3. How understanding creates a bond that makes it easier to connect with those who understand us than with those who do not necessarily understand us even if they truly love us.
4. Examining several reasons why the ones you love may not understand you even when they care about you and love you.
5. Examining your expectations of people and how it affects your experience in the relationship and accepting them as they are.
6. Exploring ways to see the world from the point of view of love and to learn to create a bridge in the absence of understanding.
7. Empowering choices you can make to relieve the frustration and not feel stuck or trapped in your feelings of hurt and disappointment.
8. What can be solved, what can we worked on, and what is best to let go.
Your fabulous opinions and thoughts about the show:
Just to emphasize our heart-felt intentions: Aileen and I ask for your thoughts, crave your questions and love to know on what topics you want to hear about in this show. Please leave a comment or email us at softalkpodcast[a]gmail[dot]com, and share the word on the podcast if you enjoyed listening!
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{ 12 brilliant comments, Care to add another? }
Excellent discussion ladies! Both love and understanding are absolutely important and work together. Finding that balance is key. Also knowing when to ebb and when to flow with all of our relationships. I’m glad you also talked about changes in people and friendships. We all change and have different perspectives but the true power is to embrace them all and filter out what you see pertinent while surrounding yourself with positivity.
Keep up the great discussions!
John, it rocks to have you listening and commenting and talking to us about the podcast, THANK YOU! You sound wiser than the two of us together, so thanks so much for adding the balance, the growth, the perspectives you talk about here. We are gonna keep rolling, that’s for sure, John!
This is a great example of how our personal preferences, styles, values, and lenses for the world, as well as our rules, can either act as blinders, or shed some light.
Hi J.D., I love that we have male listeners. Aileen and I were a bit worried. Thank you for listening. And yes to all you said. Let us know if you have more feedback and thanks again!
Thanks for the audio file. Love and understanding need acceptance to bond each other. We may understand or not, the presence of acceptance will do the magic of Love. Sometimes even we understand things or the problem, we just cant accept it.
Hi Dlysen, thanks for listening. We are just delighted for our male audience
! Woohoo! And I love how you put it. I know that Aileen reads these comments too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I often listen to conversation, as part of my job in Transcription. Its good that the audio is clear. I find it not boring because the topic is interesting. I want to continue to listen when I heard the word desire, I may pick something new on the girls talk about love..
Oh yes the audio is done professionally through very expensive equipment so I am glad it was a good investment. Yes, boring we will not be. And if you have topics in mind for us, we are all ears.
Hey ladies,
I love this format. It’s like listening in on an awesome conversation!
Since other people really just mirror our own vibrations back to us, I love the fact that you pointed out that the best strategy is to work and focus on ourselves. We can’t control how our relatives will respond. We can’t control what they think or if they’ll approve of us. But we can control how we respond, how we feel and what we think. I’ve fixed so many relationships with relatives, I can’t even really count them anymore. They did not change. I did. When I became more secure with my choices, they stopped questioning them so much. When I no longer needed approval, they stopped criticizing me. When I KNEW that I would be alright, suddenly so did they. Is everything perfect now? God no. But when something they said really gets to me, I know I have more work to do on myself. I can’t change them. I can only change me. But it totally works. They will respond to those changes.
Huge hugs to both of you,
Melody
You do? Is it working? It’s so good to get feedback – we are one determined duo and we are gonna make this work, we think to ourselves, but man, it is all how it sounds to our listeners, so THANK YOU for the validation, dear Melody.
And we are going to quote your work with your relatives. It’s brilliant – it’s hard, not easy at all, Melody so bravo – but it works because you know what you can control and you are focusing on just that. THANK YOU for sharing! Huge hug back at you and please record more podcasts for us.
Beautiful! You have reiterated all of my emotions in a single, but beautiful, acceptable, giggle
that has epitomized all of my rationalization for the beautiful love that I have for a certain individual in all of my eternal understanding. Love and yet to be understood. Oh may we all understand Love. And Greater Love, it is in all of us, resonate in the greater universe of our understanding and in the greater love of our understanding.
Katie, I shared your beautiful comment with my friend Aileen, my co-host. We are so happy that this resonated with you so deeply. Sadly, we ended the show after only 5 episodes but the feedback such as this one fills us up every time. Thanks so much and all the best.
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