Welcome back to Episode #10 of The Daily Interaction podcast. The weekly interaction today is about learning to argue smart in your relationships. How do you cultivate fair, effective and kind arguments rather than try, without success, to eliminate natural disagreements that are bound to come up between two human beings? That is our topic this week, tune in and listen, because I bring you heaps of experience. I knew I’d put the door slamming and stomping away acts to a good use someday!
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Your Weekly Friday Show Notes:
1. Why it is so important to learn to argue smart with your loved ones and why you should not eliminate disagreements from your relationships but learn how to work through them.
2. Two of the largest mistakes I learned with my husband and how shifting these around has changed my entire approach and outcomes to arguments.
3. How to ask a question differently to avoid an argument, why incorporating kindness in your words and phrases can change the outcome altogether, and a big lesson from my awesome grandmother.
4. Why we do the same thing that annoys and frustrates us to our loved ones, and why recognizing something in yourself is so so difficult, and what to do about it.
5. How to catch yourself before you cross that invisible line in the relationship from love to frustration and what one thing to do differently so you master the next disagreement with tact and poise.
6. The number one irony of all arguments, a secret to which I confess on the air no less, and my one single advice to you on having smart arguments.
7. What to do instead of changing someone so that you get astounding results and how it’s all in the way that you deliver your message.
8. The paper on the fridge technique that we used, the most practical and effective technique to smart arguing!
9. What kind of assumptions are you making during your arguments? And how to turn this around to make for an effective conversation rather than a disturbing argument.
10. The greatest news of all and why choosing your own path is the most empowering thing you need to remember not just during arguments but all the time.
Your thoughts on the show:
Any thoughts, feedback and questions most welcome and tell me also what topics you want to hear about in The Daily Interaction via email at tdi[a]prolificliving[dot]com and I will incorporate them in the show. Thank you for listening!
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{ 11 brilliant comments, Care to add another? }
You are a sweetheart for the mention Farnoosh, bless you angel. Happy to drop by and have a chat anytime…like today!
I actually think all relationships need a disagreement stage when we have to learn about each other, understand what the other person feels or sees life, and find common ground. Our references may just be different, one expresses love with words, the other actions, are either one wrong? No, just showing their love in a different manner that is correct to them.
So, communication is crucial and should never stop. Find out how your lover or spouse prefers to give their love, face their problems, deal with emotional times, views money, feels about sex, raising children, family etc. I think too many couples only talk when it’s virtually too late rather than first when it creates firm foundations for love to soar.
Keep up the great work Farnoosh, you’re giving people a real boost! Now, where’s the tea?
Hey John, too kind of you to listen. Thank you. I was delighted to include your original thoughts in the show.
Here’s hoping that conversations happen when they need to happen. THANK YOU for the weekly boost, dear John. So much. I am drinking my tea. I am sure you found some too!!
Ah, a “disagreement stage”, yes! It’s not as bad then to have those disagreements after all, and it is all an expression of love – assuming the relationship foundation is good. Communication is our salvation, isn’t it?
One of the best insights from one of my mentors was, “change yourself first.” His point was the fastest thing you can always change is you.
Hi, dear J.D., so nice to see you. The *only* thing – or person – we can ever change is ourselves. Smart mentor! And thank you for stopping by.
Hey Farnoosh.
This is cool material. You are putting out your thoughts in an organized fashion with a solid summary of the items.
Saying the same things to people in an argument sure will lead to the same results. We are funny in that we expect others to change without us changing at all.
Nice TDI.
Thanks Armen. Nice to see you here. What are you up to? How are things going? You know, Blogworld is coming to your neck of the woods next month. Are you going? Thanks for the kind words on the podcast.
Hey Farnoosh.
Things are going alright. I didn’t know Blogworld would be in my area. I don’t plan on attending, but if you are here, we can meet and I can do a video interview of you(would be my 2nd video interview in total). That would be cool if you get the chance. I’m not sure if you are coming but I thought I’d bring that up. My site got Google Sitelinks last week for the first time so that was cool. I like that you are building up Prolific Living Media.
Your tone in audios is definitive and still friendly. It has a real Persian tone to it that no other culture’s people can emulate.
Talk to you super Farnoosh.
Hi Armen, I am not coming to Blogworld and darling, you must live in a cave not to know that Blogworld coming to LA. So yeah, next time. Thank you so much for the kind words. We will meet up soon, dear Armen. Take care and keep at the things you love!
I admire you for being so honest! Loved the podcast! I joked with James the other day about what it would be like to have our first fight. We’ve disagreed on things and gotten disappointed with each other on occassion but we have never had a fight – no loud voices or curse words or walked away feeling upset with each other. Pretty good for a 17 month long relationship, no?
!
You haven’t argued in 17 months??? Are you serious? You are like Bobby and Jane, two peas in a pod, happy and peaceful
! I am very happy for you, I can’t say the same about me and Andy as you well know but I know that as long as you openly communicate, you are golden. Big hugs, Negar joon, thanks for listening!
I am serious!
It’s mostly because James is very patient and understanding. Knock on wood. He’s a better communicator than me, even though he’s a lot more shy. Whenever something is bothering me and I say, “nevermind” or “it doesn’t matter” after starting to talk about it or expressing my sadness / anxiety – he always says, “No, it matters. Let’s talk about it”. A+ for communication! =)