On Supporting Your Community, Giving and Guest Posting

37 comments . Among Others

Florence, Italy, May 2008 - Looking down at Arno river from Ponte Vecchio (Old Bridge), I was mesmerized by this simple sight: A young crew of Italian children hard at work, learning the concept of team work. If even one of them stops rowing, the shared momentum is lost and the camaraderie comes into question. What a simple drill to teach a grand lesson and what lucky children to learn this lesson so early on. Here’s hoping they will remember this when they need it most in life!

Teamwork a Young Crew at Arno River Florence

On Supporting your Community:

Of the 100 lessons I wrote about life and blogging (the 100th post on Prolific Living), one in particular has been resurfacing again and again, that of constantly giving back to our community. The simple widespread acceptance of this idea surrounds us in everything we do; it’s not news to any of us. What surprises me is the measure of its rewards when this giving back is applied to the blogging community.

In all my interactions with dozens upon dozens of bloggers around the world, I am always astounded by this flow of positive energy and camaraderie. The support and encouragement of bloggers for one another is at the core of this community’s foundation and you never feel alone! By support, I don’t mean a little shout-out or a quick response to your cry for help; I mean genuine, persistent and sincere support and assistance when you need that push to get you over your hurdle!

What an amazing community of compassionate, smart, hard-working and ambitious writers and creators! No matter how super busy we all are, helping someone else never seems to be a low priority. It is the solid shared belief that paves the way for bloggers day in and day out. To think that all of this model behavior is driven by individuals themselves, not by policies, bosses, orders, guidelines or incentives, now that is the formula to a successful and brilliant community (an idea quite creatively illustrated in this video).

So whatever your community, be it a book club, health group, sports team, work environment, dancers, singers, musicians, or any other association of family and friends with a common passion, if you are striving for an environment like the blogging community, exploit these traits to the fullest, give back and be a true team member and take ownership of the health and direction of your community.

On Giving, Giving and more Giving:

At the beginning, I would be the one on the receiving end of all this, unable to immediately return favors except with my overflowing expressions of gratitude. Slowly, I have been finding small ways to give back and support other bloggers in their endeavors; funny enough and much to my surprise (again), giving beats receiving any day of the week! The many, many happy returns from striking up conversations, offering help, doing an interview, engaging in a joint project, supporting a new or experienced blogger in an effort, sharing skills and expertise, all of these reaffirm the essence of blogging for me.

I used to read business books all the time (until I fell in love with the classics) and the takeaways from Keith Ferrazzi’s “Never Eat Alone” come to mind here. I repeat his advice for you as I repeated them in my interview with Hulbert Lee of From Bottom Up when he asked me for advice on being prepared for life’s challenges. Build a support system, I told him, a network, a group of friends, peers, colleagues, a community essentially – and think of only one thing: Giving, giving and giving. The returns will find you in due time when you are among the right group of people.

In the corporate world, there is a phrase WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) and you must fulfill this for all stakeholders when you write your value-proposition on a business case. Oh well, I choose to ignore that guideline loudly and clearly for blogging; mirroring Keith Ferrazzi’s advice on networking, I think only of what I can give to grow and nourish this fabulous community.

Think only of giving to your community. When and if the day comes when you may need support, you will be surrounded with it. If that day never comes, you are more than compensated from the joy of simply helping others be successful. You simply can’t lose! Remember success is not a zero-sum game; there is more than enough of it to go around for everyone!

On Guest Posting and Contributing:

Guest posting is when a blogger writes a post for another blog or website and I simply love doing it but only with the right mindset.

Why do you guest post, contribute to other blogs or engage in forums? To get your name and brand out there and to receive traffic and hits on your site in return? To boost your vanity and ego a healthy notch or two? To share your knowledge and expertise? Maybe a nice combination of all of these plus more motives not listed here. It’s great to have reasons behind what we do, and I do believe there is virtue in ambition, selfishness and a healthy dose of ego.

Great, all that said, consider this: What if you produce a superb guest article after a dozen hours of hard work and do the reasonable marketing to get the word out about your sincerely valuable content and the reaction is complete silence? No comments. No hits. No Tweets. No Likes. No whatever-else-social-media-hot-buzz is going on during that day, that month, that season. What then?

I think the answer is that it really should not matter. Your reasons for writing and contributing to other blogs should be independent of circumstance and therefore void of disappointment and full of joy. If you write for the sole purpose of contributing and sharing your stories and expertise and giving to your community, you essentially make disappointment impossible.

The only viable option from this mindset and perspective is to come out a winner and you are one simply by the act of giving and contributing!

Write because you really, really want to write. Really believe it and act by it in your heart. Exercise detachment to the consequences. The reaction can be warm and rewarding and embrace it if it comes your way but remember it is just a passing phase. You should satiate in the act of giving and contributing and building your community. Let that alone be your gift and your reward.

Give because you love to give
Write because you love to write
Share your stories because you feel compelled to share them
Aim to impact only one person and let that be enough; more will follow in due time
Let these be your convictions and you will make disappointment an impossible outcome and everything extra is sugar on top!

It is in that spirit that I write and engage with and delight in the blogging community. Here is a selection of some of my guest posts and the fabulous people who gave me a kind opportunity to contribute to their sweet corner of cyberspace – thank you!

Share your Thoughts

What is your philosophy of giving? What are some of your thoughts around building a community, blogging or otherwise? Start a conversation and share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below!

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{ 36 brilliant comments, Care to add another? }

1 Dragos Roua June 8, 2010 at 5:30 AM

It was a real pleasure to have your post on my blog and I also enjoyed all your other posts at our friends blogs.

:-)

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2 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:17 PM

Dragos, we had fun with that post on tango and blogging! And as you know, I am a big fan of your stuff…..!! Pleasure was all mine. Thanks for saying hi!

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3 Jean Sarauer June 8, 2010 at 7:22 AM

I love your thoughts about how if you guest post (or give in any way!) with the right intention, then it really makes no difference if there are no comments or other visible results.

Giving to a community for me, blogging or otherwise, means encouraging others and helping them up however I can. If I can mention something that brings people their way or support them in some new endeavor, then I’m happy to do it. It feels good to see others happy.

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4 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:18 PM

Jean, you are on the spot: no “visible results” – there are so many hidden benefits to giving, mainly for ourselves. I share your approach to giving in a community too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here!

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5 Keith Davis June 8, 2010 at 12:34 PM

Hi Farnoosh
One of the things that surprised me when I started blogging was the support bloggers give to each other.
I thought that all the comments on my site would come from people who found me via the search engines, but no. Lots of my comments come from other bloggers who have returned a comment with a comment.
Starting to feel that I am actually part of a big community and that community includes you and Jean who has left a comment above – hi Jean.

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6 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:19 PM

Keith, I know – it continues to shock me too just how supportive bloggers are of one another. Commenting is a way to show support but besides that, I am sure you also have good high-value content; otherwise, why would people spend their time on your blog? It’s a wonderful big community and we are all part of it. Thanks for saying hi (to me and Jean!!)!

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7 Sandra Lee June 8, 2010 at 2:47 PM

Dearest Farnoosh, The whole idea of giving without attachment to results is a very high vision. If we could bring this same approach to all that we do, the world would be an incredible place. I’m always amazed by the wisdom you share. As someone relatively new to the blogosphere, I too am finding this amazing sense of community and support. I hope you are enjoying your time off to the utmost – and because you are you, I have hunch you are!

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8 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:21 PM

Hi Sandra, it’s a hard idea to conceptualize I think and yet it could have a great impact. I am so happy you feel the same sense of community and support – and I had a lot of fun but I missed my Mac a little too ;) !
Thank you for being such a loyal reader!!

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9 Mystica June 8, 2010 at 6:48 PM

Thanks for your thought provoking post.

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10 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:22 PM

Anytime Mystica….thanks for reading!

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11 Lance June 8, 2010 at 8:26 PM

Farnoosh,
You are simply filled with gratitude and love – and I’ve witnessed that from the first time our paths crossed. And the thing is – that is what brings me back here. It’s your heart…that which you share so honestly. Today is a beautiful example of that – of YOU…touching upon something so good. Giving…just for the joy in doing that. Life is not more awesome and amazing that when we do this…and feel the wonderful-ness that comes from that…the wonderful-ness deep within our soul.

Farnoosh, keep shining your amazing and beautiful light out into the world!!

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12 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:23 PM

Lance, you exaggerate and yet do it so well and so sincerely that I really have no words to match in terms of gratitude in return. I just think I wish I had thought of your words to share here in the post about giving because they surpass mine a great deal. Thank you thank you my dear friend! We are all in it together, right?

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13 Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills June 8, 2010 at 11:36 PM

Hi Farnoosh, I think you contribute to everyone around you , perhaps without even realizing it. For those of us who have the pleasure of interacting with you, your energy is a gift we all appreciate. You light up your world girl, and it is a real blessing.

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14 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:28 PM

Jonathan, I can’t be happier for doing it especially if I don’t realize it. Thank you for making me smile big time! You are not so bad yourself ;) !

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15 Simon Hay June 9, 2010 at 2:26 AM

Hi Farnoosh. You’ve described, perfectly, how I feel about writing and sharing online. Bless you. Talk soon, Simon.

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16 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:29 PM

Simon, I knew others felt this way too – and you are most welcome…..Come back soon and share more thoughts. Thanks!!!

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17 Katie June 9, 2010 at 8:32 AM

Farnoosh, this is so beautifully put that all I can do is say, well done, lovely post, and agree 150%. I shall spread this post so everyone can be inspired by it.

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18 Farnoosh June 9, 2010 at 7:30 PM

Katie, you are sweet – and thank you for spreading the word…..I’d love to see this approach to writing everywhere…..thank you so much!

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19 Hulbert Lee June 10, 2010 at 12:55 AM

Hi Farnoosh, I love all the lessons you point out here. This quote stood out for me the most: “Write because you really, really want to write.” Simple and effective. It’s no wonder why you are such a successful blogger because you don’t care, you just write because you love to and I admire you for that.

P.S. Speaking of vacation for a blogger, I think I need one as well from the stress that it sometimes can come with it. I’m going to San Francisco this weekend Farnoosh.

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20 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 6:33 AM

Hulbert, thank you so much – I have no doubt that is your approach to blogging and I am so glad you enjoyed this. Yes, please do take a vacation, San Fran is a great city to escape reality ;) – have fun and enjoy the beautiful Northern California areas and come back nice and refreshed!

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21 uzma June 10, 2010 at 7:08 AM

Hi dear Farnoosh,
This is just the post I need as I am a new baby blogger. Your advise comes in very good time for me as I try to figure the internet out.As I read your article I realized that ultimately what matters is to write and to give from the heart. Its easy though to get caught up in blog stats etc, but then those don’t matter . What matters is being honest to oneself and like you say , to live from the spirit of giving. I do hope I am able to do that. A wise friend has be telling me, write from the heart, live the heart and your post is a reminder to me of that. God bless and thank you for this very useful and timely post for me.

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22 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 9:31 AM

Hi Uzma, being a baby blogger is also fun – so much to learn, so many new friends to make and so much to explore in this ever-growing blogging world, enjoy it and write exactly in that spirit, just to write……Obsession with those blog stats can give you a headache – and you’ll have nothing to show for at the end of all those minutes and hours lost….Just keep an eye on the overall trend, which I am sure is upwards, and then focus on quality content. You are most welcome!!

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23 Angela Artemis June 10, 2010 at 9:04 AM

Hi Farnoosh,
First, I want to let you know that I couldn’t agree more – the blogging community is among the most supportive I have ever encountered. Even my own life long friends and family do not support my blogging efforts in any way shape or form that comes even minutely close to my fellow bloggers. Try for the life of me I cannot even get a comment out of one of them!

Second, I also agree – you have to do this because you want to and love it – not for the hope of monetary gain, at least initially anyway. It involves so much time and effort that it just has to be a labor of love. Anyone who is a blogger is really a writer at their core. I’ve been keeping a journal since I was 12 years old, and I bet if we did a survey we’d find at least 50 percent of bloggers had similar tendencies.

Third, where did you find that excellent You Tube video? I was enthralled. Many years ago when I left the corporate world for the FIRST (I’ve since been back and left again – I’m a slow learner!) it was for those very same reasons outlined in the video. There is no motivation when you’re treated like a “better smelling horse with a carrot dangling in front of them.”

Thank you Farnoosh for this excellent and thought provoking post!

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24 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 9:34 AM

Dear Angela, welcome to my world! I can’t get a comment out of my family or close friends either – my cousins are pretty supportive and my family would email me about their thoughts or talk to no end on the phone but there is their limit and I have learned to just be happy that they have their way of enjoying my blog – I think sometimes they are shy about sharing their thoughts in public and we as bloggers have no shyness, have you noticed that?
The time and effort is inexplicable; I am certain I have easily spent thousands of hours on this blog in the last 2 years but I would not change it. The You Tube was sent by a work colleague and it was an exceptionally good one! You are welcome, Angela, thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly!

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25 rob white June 10, 2010 at 10:13 AM

Yes Farnoosh,
I am starting to see that the beautiful thing about the internet is that it creates the opportunity to form Mastermind alliances regardless of geography. I believe that two or more minds focused on the same attitude of gratitude and ascension increases the energy tenfold. I like to say, ‘minds’ of a feather flock together… clearly we have a lot of mingling minds here.

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26 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 4:48 PM

Rob, tell me about it – although I would not have come up with that great phrase (as usual, you have a way with words, I can’t wait to read your book :) )! Mastermind Alliances!! Geography is meaningless when we can reach out and touch one another within the blogging and social media world. Can’t agree more – thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts!

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27 Mark June 10, 2010 at 2:29 PM

You can never lose when you give! Many fear that they will cut themselves short by giving however as you eloquently wrote the more we give the more we have to give. This is the magic of who we are!
This is a great community and it is writing like yours that gives to all of us.

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28 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 4:49 PM

Hi Mark, no, you never can. The spirit of giving is a win-win every time. I used to think about some of those things when I was much younger, and with the caveat of being careful not to give to greedy and friends with poor influence in one’s life, I think giving is mostly magical! I am so happy you enjoy my writing!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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29 uzma June 10, 2010 at 2:30 PM

Thank you so much for those tips Farnoosh. Much appreciated.

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30 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 4:54 PM

You are welcome, Uzma…..happy blogging!

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31 Laura Cococcia June 10, 2010 at 6:42 PM

Aaah, wonderful! So lucky to have you guest post :) And your picture reminds me of when I lived in Florence – thank you for the memories my friend!

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32 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 9:08 PM

Laura, I had so many emotions resurface when I wrote that post for you – first of many guest posts but a very special one. Thanks for the opportunity and of course, how wonderful to hear that you lived in Firenze for a while…..

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33 Sibyl - alternaview June 10, 2010 at 11:21 PM

Farnoosh: I really liked what you said about giving and contributing to your community in this post. I do think that it really is all about giving genuinely in whatever ways you can just because you honestly want to and you have a desire to help others. I think when you live your life by this premise, everything else just falls into place and life can unfold in so many amazing ways. Thank you for all that you continually give in your posts and the sharing of your insights.

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34 Farnoosh June 10, 2010 at 11:28 PM

Thank you Sibyl, I know from alternaview site that you live this philosophy too. “….life can unfold in so many amazing ways…” So so true – and for me in this case, it’s all these beautiful reactions here on the blog that makes me very happy. What a grand community we have! You are most welcome and I return the comment with the same sense of gratitude. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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35 Tess The Bold Life June 11, 2010 at 9:32 PM

You’re amazing…I write for the joy of it. I write because it calls to me. I write because I can’t not write. I love your blog;)

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36 Farnoosh June 11, 2010 at 10:50 PM

Amazing as yourself. Thank you ….Indeed we write because we cannot not write. I love that phrase, Tess! Let’s keep writing, shall we? :) !

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